Yes

Bill Hogan

4/29/2020

Bill's Covid Journal

Bill Hogan
Wed 2020-04-01 5:18 PM

Living in a Dangerous Time

I got out today, having been cooped up for two weeks due to social isolation, and my, how the local world has changed.

Timmies now has drive-through only, with a gloved and masked person serving cheerfully. The Avondale (newspaper) has added distancing markers on the floor, plastic shields at the counter and shorter hours.

Dollarama (snacks you know--essential in a time of stay-at-home crisis) seemed to be running low on Viva Puffs, but Smartfood and creme eggs were still plentiful. No I didn't hoard up. I didn't mind bagging stuff myself. The cashier threw a hissy-fit about cash.

The Beer Store, now, was a different story. Cash ONLY, and you can't return empties anymore. (What will the beer bottle gleaners do?) The cash-out was weird, too--it reminded me of the Israeli check-point crossing into the West Bank. Yellow tape 9 feet away from the cashiers. Put your money in a cardboard box (and ID if needed) and step away while it was retrieved and change given. But thank heaven, they are still open. (I know, I know, in Doug Ford's Ontario the beer store will always be open.)

On the way to Virgil to pick up flowers at rock-bottom prices so the wholesale growers don't have to compost them all, I passed Private Eyes. Closed. I guess it's pretty hard to give lap dances during social distancing. Has anyone considered those poor girls, eh?

At the wholesale florist you don't get out of the car. You roll down your window, place your order with someone 15 feet away, the flowers are put in your trunk, and you leave exact change only. Now this reminded me of being in the English countryside during hoof and mouth disease, whatever it was called.

Since regular sources of flowers, for me the Farmers' Market or The Watering Can, were closed, I thought I'd get flowers for friends, too. But Fonthill has flowers! Not allowed to open, two places had self-serve options in vacant lots. One of them a customer of mine long ago in the barn system, copied my idea exactly! He used a red tool box with a slit in the top to leave cash in (with a bicycle chain, though). But he also added a 21st century idea. If you didn't have exact change you could transfer money by phone to his online account. Cool.

There were some masks on the streets, but not a lot. There was much less traffic. The school zone flashing lights went off at 3:15 even though there's no school and won't be for weeks. The police were still stopping speeders. Gas is down to 78 cents but there's no where to go.

The Book Depot was closed but put 10,000 books on line and offered free delivery in March.

Nigh's got Health Dept. permission to take phone and online orders and deliver out the door to your car. All their Easter chocolate was made before the lockdown.

That's the outside world in St. Catharines, in Canada, on this first day of April, 2020. This was written just to record one exact moment in time so I'll be able to recall the wonder of our world ten years from now when I start to write The Great Canadian Novel I've been forever threatening people with. By the way, when in quarantine from the plague, Shakespeare wrote Macbeth and King Lear! This will have to do for now.

In lockdown again,

Bill

 
On Sunday, April 5, 2020, Bill Hogan <billhoganantiques@hotmail.com> wrote:

Living in a Dangerous Time Take 2

Three weeks in on this self-isolation business and there's been some little changes. I'm kind of sporting a Hemingway-like look since there's no barbers open, and I think Pauline's sporting a less restrictive undergarment look since she doesn't go out and no-one visits. (Yes, I'm 76, but I'm not dead, you know. I sometimes notice things like that.)

This has been the week of Zoom. Last week I'd never even heard of it; this week it's Zoom Zoom everywhere. Lindsay has Global Fund meetings daily on Zoom; her nine year old daughter, Maddie, Zooms friends in the evenings. Australian Michelle (well, almost, her and Brad's citizenship has been postponed to August now) Zooms colleagues for work and Ian the Fireman's 16-year-old daughter Zooms with friends till 2 a.m. (Mamas, don't let your daughters grow up to be night owls!)

Even Pauline got in on it suddenly with a new Women's Bible Study Zoom-in or whatever the technical term might be. I'm never up at 10 a.m. so I didn't witness it personally, but P. said it was quite funny. Various people on mute, others frozen, then missing, children popping up, dogs interested, random husbands floating past, washroom breaks needed. But in the end a great community get-together. And technology passes me by again.

The weather has warmed up a bit, so I've been cleaning up the garden from our winter storms and got the fountain up and running. And I wonder if we'll still have our annual summer garden party.

P. has decided to make us masks since this week the information seemed to have changed and it's recommended now in some circles. She did her first grocery store run with one on, and I got a picture of her returning with it still on, carrying groceries and toilet paper. Really, we needed it. The toilet paper, I mean, not the mask. (Oops, too much detail, maybe.) She might put the picture up on Facebook, I'm not sure.

Speaking of P., I know she signed up for richer, for poorer, but did she really sign up for living on a desert island with someone 24 hours a day? I think not. (I'm not sure she thinks I'm quite as funny as I think I am.)

Interestingly, a couple of her friends, commenting on last week's blog, mentioned how loving I was to venture out to get flowers last week FOR HER. Oh. Yeah. For HER for sure. Yeah. Okay.

Although I didn't venture out this week, I noticed that in this working-class neighborhood all the cars are in their driveways all the time. So strange and so quiet.

Maggie next door reported huge line-ups--with distancing--outside the marijuana shop near Lakeshore Meats where she shops.Ian the Fireman is only one quarter as busy as usual at work. His wife, Fiona, in management in the Niagara Health system, put in 50 extra hours last week. Chris, a Toronto court room clerk, is fretting seriously at the lack of social distancing in the court system--people whispering in his ear, standing close to discuss matters.

I want to give a shout-out to some businesses and people. My local Rexall pharmacy waived my fee for a prescription because by law now they can only give me one month's supply of pills, not three, making me liable for three fees for the same number of pills. Thanks also to The Hilton which makes up a free once a week meal for all 1,000 employees to pick up in a drive-thru system with the owners and management doing the handout. As well as Fiona, others are in the health care business, too. Laurie from church is a nurse and Rick and Becky's daughter Kaity works in a hospital. Stay safe, my friends.

When I sent out last week's missive, I sent it to about a dozen people. The response was so overwhelming, I then also sent it out to about another dozen who had appreciated my Adventures in Newfoundland blog. The response was again stunning. Long letters from many. Encouragement from lots to keep writing, maybe start my theoretical novel now.

I hadn't expected that. After I hit send last week, I actually expected a number to write, "Stay at home, shithead!" because I talked of going out for snacks, flowers, etc. I guess those who thought it, didn't write it. (I didn't venture out this week, so don't start on me now.) I even took one terse reply, "Rave on, Bill." as positive, figuring it was synonymous with "Rock on, Bill" not "Rant on" or "Ramble on."

My thoughts now are that those that don't want to read these scribblings can just hit delete, so I'm sending this out to all my 35 or so contacts. I expect that for many, equally isolated, after a kind of exhilaration from the first week or two, there's a worrying or a sadness creeping in, and if my writing may bring a smile or two, it's been worthwhile. And if writing back might bring a release or two, Rave On, readers. I look forward to your replies and YOUR stories of lockdown, week three.

Bill

 
Bill Hogan
Fri 2020-04-10 12:51 AM

Signs of Our Times – Week Four in Isolation

Let the record show that in the fourth week of the Covid -19 lockdown in St. Catharines the various governments have shut down all construction sites, barred in-store customers at hardware stores (but you can line up outside and place an order) closed off all city parks and blockaded the cemeteries. Let the record also show that Pauline has run out of cat video sites and moved onto kitten videos.

As this noose of closings tightens and tightens, it's inevitable the loss of civil liberties comes into play. There are problems, but nothing has really fussed me so far except the cemetery rule. It's cruel. Sure, no funeral gatherings, but a couple visiting a grave site getting run off? It's just coincidence, but our son Edward's birth date is April 20 and we usually visited his grave and gave the plot a good spring clean-up, adding new flowers. I guess not, this year. Twenty-three years ago, now, more years than he lived.

As well as civil liberties being hijacked, I'm just a touch bothered by a couple of things. The busses now have signs on them, "Essential Travel Only" as if anyone in this city would voluntarily get on a bus if they didn't need to. Stop with this rude signage!. I also feel sorry for the many regular customers of my local Tim Horton's who don't own cars and are not allowed to walk up to the drive-thru window. This is a poor area with low quality apartment blocks so there's lots without cars. Whatever.

There's been some great comments online on this stay-at-home stuff. Pauline was cracked up by Sharon's take on it. She says this situation is turning us into dogs; we're constantly roaming around looking for food, watching for any motion outside the front window, being told no if we get too close to strangers and getting really excited about a car ride. Rollo suggests that if you have a glass of wine in each hand you can't touch your face. My sister Karen said that today she ventured into that great forgotten place--OUTSIDE!

Oh, I've been corrected on a few items. Private Eyes was closed some time ago before the Coronavirus came, I just hadn't noticed. Maddie is ten not nine, as she strongly let me know; it was two months ago, Grandpa. Lindsay does not use Zoom, but a more sophisticated more secure cousin for her work at The Global Fund. She was just trying to dumb it down for me. And two people laughed at "The Hemingway" and suggested something like Old Order Amish would be closer.

And if I'm doing mea culpas I might add I stole that line about "the cheap price of gas and nowhere to go" from Martha and I ran with a riff from Brad on Michelle's early morning Zoom conference calls without footnoting that either. I've felt guilty for a week.

Well the first two weeks of isolation I sorted through 5,000 photos, throwing 4,000 out, and putting the rest into albums. Want to know what this family was doing in the summer of '69? There's an album for that. Now Pauline says I have to go through and identify everyone. Eeeeuw! Really? Maybe next year.

Last week I went through boxes of memorabilia, filing things properly. I'll share some of the interesting items in later ramblings, but one item tickled me. I was once editor of Canada's oldest weekly (Permit # 1), the Lindsay Watchman-Warder. Then, after marriage, I worked as the political/municipal reporter for the Etobicoke weekly. Since my regular copy ran a week after events, I also became a "stringer" for The Toronto Telegram, a Toronto daily, if there was an important Etobicoke story. I've got all these pay stubs and I just love the wages--"Four stories, June 1970, $28." (I did make page 2 once, for $25, though.) Mama don't let your sons grow up to be news guys.

It wasn't the wages that got me out of a career in newspapers, however. Council wanted to put an incinerator in Etobicoke and every NIMBY kook fought it. (My favorite quote was "Put it in the Mayor's back yard!"). I wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote The Great Etobicoke Incinerator Story 48 times. I still have nightmares about it. End of THAT career.

I've included with this blog, I guess you'd call it, some pictures of the signs from around my block--Timmies, the local hardware store, the Avondale, Confederation Park (where the rabbits are, kids) and the nearby bus stop. Yes, signs of our times.

Before I close, I'd like to mention how this plague has really sharpened our priorities. Forget the Trump impeachment, forget Trudeau's political fumbles, forget the terrible new Tim Horton's lids. We all now concentrate on the really important things, like keeping safe and keeping loved ones safer. As the Premier of Nova Scotia said, "Stay the blazes home".

Have a happy Easter.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-18 4:55 AM

More of Bill and Pauline’s Excellent Adventures

Well, we've both had some excitement this week--I went to the bank and P. was visited by Easter Bunnies. This is what constitutes excitement in week 5 of THE LOCKDOWN.

Now I know some are shaking their heads about my needing to go to a physical bank in this day of ATM's and online bill paying, but this was a special case. You see, I owed the government money on 2019 income tax and they requested payment by April 30 and I wanted to really make sure they got it. Even though my accountant said to ignore this, I'm hoping somewhere in the future to qualify for CERB or some other government largesse and don't want it held up because I owe them money.

So, on to the bank. Well, I hadn't been forever, and since I use a bank with great hours, 8a.m to 8 p.m. five days a week and also open Saturdays and Sundays, I arrived at 8a.m. (still a night owl, up a little later than usual) to find the bank had reverted to what we used to call banker's hours--10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Oh.

Back at 10 a.m., not quite so chipper now. Long line outside in 1 degree weather, people spaced somewhat, but not really six feet apart. Now I'm feeling a little surly. But I had my homemade mask (yea, Pauline) and good gloves, so no problem. When I got to the front of the line (still outside) I met my young Walmart greeter, dressed in a TD ball cap and TD jacket and a very cheery, chipper attitude. "So, how are you feeling today?" she goes.

Now I'm no fool. This isn't Maggie and I talking over the backyard fence where the response might have included the state of the arthritis (Maggie) or the insomnia (me), this was the all-powerful border agent controlling the entry gate, smile be damned.

My attitude did a 360 degree turnabout. "Great, just great, just waiting for Spring to come."

"Have you been travelling?"

"No, no. Just cocooning at home."

"Why did you need to come to the bank today?"

I knew I'd be in trouble if I said to pay a couple of bills because I'd probably get a lesson on how to pay online, so smart as anything I said I needed some toonies for my business (well, for buying Timmies, anyway, but that's MY business.) I thought I was homefree.

Then, just inside the bank I met border guard number two. No more cheery attitude from the flinty-eyed schoolmarm confronting me. "Clean your hands!" she barked. Off came the gloves. I mean my gloves. And I meekly washed my hands with a solution in the dispenser that made my hands feeling like they were being washed in lye. My hands are very chapped and at home I use special unscented hand soap specially prepared for me at a local shop. Grimacing in pain, I put my gloves back on for round two.

"Do you have your mobile phone?" She was stunned when I said I didn't have one. "Well, starting tomorrow, you have to download our app (eyes glazing over) and stay in your car until we text you for your appointment!" It seems they haven't quite worked out what happens to Luddites like me, but I guess starting the next day I would have to stand outside by myself until someone came to get me, maybe. Or maybe not. It looks like my going to the bank days are over.

I was well-served by the teller who managed to not touch anything, using a pencil to push things around and a stamp to show my bills paid. Oh, I got my toonies of course.

Pauline's excitement was much more positive. The Easter Bunnies (two of them cleverly disguised as Rick, P.'s brother, and Becky of Nigh's Sweet Shop) came to her the day before Easter with a care package of chocolate. We always go out to get Easter chocolate for us, for neighbours, for my co-workers at The Hilton, but this year talked it over and decided to "Just Stay Home" like good little lambs. Nigh's were taking telephone orders and delivering to people's cars throughout the Easter season. Rick said they sold about a third of what they usually would.

Pauline said they talked, her in the doorway, the Nighs on the sidewalk, for a good while, and it was so exhilarating, she said. Our first visitors in weeks! I was so sad I missed it, the visit being at the crack of noon, long before I get up. Becky said she missed her grandchildren so; she felt like driving all the way to Peterborough just to wave at them through the window.

Speaking of grandkids, this was the week that the long-term reality of this epidemic sank in. The kids were due to come over from Switzerland for the summer June 27. But how will that work, now? The government rules state that everyone from a foreign country must quarantine for two weeks. If there is no written plan, the government itself will quarantine the visitors in hotels. Can they come stay with us? Will there be summer camp for them at Camp Kahquah? And will there be anything to do, yet, or will we still be in lockdown?

Similarly, I guess I have to face the reality that The Hilton is unlikely to need valet drivers this summer. All 65 in the valet department have been laid off, and until about 500 of their 1050 rooms have been rented, patrons can self-park. Hilton International policy calls for valet service to be offered, but these are extraordinary times and rules may be out the window.

A couple of other observations. Correctly so, someone chided me about my bus comment last week. I realize bus drivers have died of Covid. But no bus in St. Catharines ever has more than five people on it, it seems, unless it's Brock students and Brock is shut down. As well, riders enter from the rear doors. Still it was insensitive and I apologize.

Something else. Lindsay reports that last week, with wonderful 20 degree weather, the usually law-abiding Swiss started to rebel. Whole families went grocery shopping, people gathered in the parks. Now Switzerland started its self-isolation a week before us, but their infected and dead almost exactly mirror Canada's, at this point. So if the law-abiding Swiss revolt, what's going to happen here? Maybe we've been lucky it's so cold (snow three times this week, minus six degrees one night) so it's easier to stay in and be cosy. I guess watch out for a blowback if it ever hits 20 degrees here before things are relaxed.

Other quick notes. The Beer Store is now accepting empties (in limited quantities per person!) at one location locally since they were running out of bottles. Oh, and that demand for cash only? That was just because someone hacked their system so their machines were down for up to three weeks.

Filled up with gas for the first time in 5 weeks. At 77cents.

Our backyard flowers will wait for nothing. We've had some snowdrops, countless crocuses, billions of bluebells, dozens of daffodils, and now the forsythia is starting to....bloom. (Sorry, ran out of alliteration.) Maggie's tulip tree, correct name unknown, that gorgeous showy thing, is in bud. Picture next week.

Peace to all, stay safe, keep your spirits up. More excitement next week, too.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-25 9:17 AM

Journal of the Plague Year Week 6

Apologies to Danny Defoe (real name Daniel Foe) for ripping off his book title on the 1665 Black Death plague, but it's so appropriate. Speaking of Defoe, I suggested to Pauline that maybe instead of Hemingway, at week six I now resembled Robinson Crusoe, but she rolled her eyes, so no selfie of my current wild-man look.

I think Pauline has moved on to cute dog videos, now, because she shared a couple of videos of a British sports announcer giving a gripping commentary on his two dogs racing to finish their bowls of food, and then another of one guarding a toy bone from the other. Hilarious. Nothing is really happening here, and he made it entertaining anyway. Hopefully I'm doing the same because NOTHING IS REALLY HAPPENING HERE.

Other than my daily Tim Horton run, I didn't budge past the back yard this week. Over at Timmies every server now wears a mask and gloves and the coffees now come on a cardboard box top or in one of their recyclable trays. No hand serving. I also noticed a sign for do-it-yourself donut decorating boxes (for kids I suspect) of six donuts for $5.99. Way to keep kids occupied Tim.

I did notice a couple of "happenings" in our neighborhood, though, on my Tim's run. First of all, the church on the corner one block over has been having line-ups outside. It seems that since it's closed, and it has a ministry to the many area sex trade workers and homeless people, it offers lunches and groceries through the kitchen window three days a week. They do 500 sandwiches and 300 bags of groceries each week, and 100 cups of coffee and 100 soups each day. Hats off to Westview Centre4Women at 124 Queenston St. That was not a joke about the sex trade workers--this is a serious ministry.

Just about across the street from Westview Fellowship, the local Community Garden has been shut down since it's not an essential service, so there's no one there getting the ground ready. (Yes, I know May 24 weekend is the traditional planting date in Southern Ontario.) The 70 Niagara Community Gardens banded together this week to plead with Doug Ford to let them open with distancing guidelines and wash-up stations. 600 families count on these gardens in Niagara. I understand they're doing seedlings in anticipation of Covid rules relaxing.

On Pauline's side of the home she's watching a lot more You Tube videos and reading news from various world websites. Me, I read The Globe, the National Post and watch The National. I just don't get this You Tube, Facebook, conspiracy theory world. A side effect of these videos, though, are the great great great new recipe meals she's preparing based on those videos. We had French Onion soup to die for. And tonight it was a three-hit wonder, smothered chicken and gravy, roasted scalloped potatoes and cheesy stuffed biscuits. We don't order in at all--one pick-up Wendy's in the last six weeks.

Pauline did have a couple of new shopping experiences. She needed a new desk lamp bulb; yes a vital need. She ordered and paid online with Canadian Tire, they emailed the order was ready, and she drove to the store, parked in the letter E of the spray-painted parking lot and phoned to say what letter she was in. Out came the clerk with her tiny bag. Others had shopping carts full of merchandise being loaded so I guess do-it-yourselfers are finally getting long-postponed projects accomplished. Efficient and smart, I'd say, Canadian Tire.

At the grocery store, there are still long line-ups, still no flour and little baking supplies, the aisles are one way and now you can't use your own shopping bags. Each week a little stricter as we all adapt.

Speaking of line-ups, I remember queuing forever in England in 1952-53 when there was still rationing. I think one line was for orange juice, one for eggs, and I'm not sure, maybe one for cod liver oil. Maggie next door remembers taking two bus rides to get the weekly roast from the black market. Pauline remembers the large "Quarantine" sign tacked to the front door when her brother Harry contracted polio in the 50's. We've come full circle in our lives.

Since Air Miles expire after a year if you don't take another trip and we're not taking one, I cashed mine for $100 at Chapters and spent most of it already, and Pauline took $100 for Amazon. And in another sign of new world disorder Amazon told her it was concentrating on important shipments and her order should arrive in a month from now. Wow!

Remember I said it was important I paid off that $152 I owed on 2019 income tax? Yep, in these tough financial times the Ontario government withheld my monthly $48.50 Trillium benefit because I owed them money! Even though I paid long before the April 30 deadline. Rotten bastards.

On the other hand, the Feds ordered banks to ease up on bank card interest rates, so I contacted TD and I applied online for a kick-back of 50% of the interest each month for three months. They'll let me know in 30 days "due to the high volume of requests". I'll let you know how it ends up.

Oh. The never-ending bus sign saga. Once again I'm wrong, wrong, wrong. I was annoyed at the very large "Essential Travel Only" sign thinking it was rude and who would willingly take a St. Catharines bus (besides students) if they didn't need to. Well it seems lots of people. To protect the drivers, passengers enter from the rear and a big yellow chain separates the driver a long way from the passengers. And since revenues are down 90% anyway, no-one checks for bus passes or tickets. This became known. Enter the "non destination passenger" and the "riders exploring new areas of St. Catharines". I finally cracked the euphemism code. The homeless are riding around and around. What a gig! Warm soothing ride, a different vista each day. The bus seats are blocked now so each bus can only take ten passengers. The first eleventh passenger is told a new bus has been ordered from the depot to come for them. Thus the sign. I get it now.

One last item and I'll let you go. I started this blog April 1 after two weeks of isolation to record my life for future reference as a writer and thought it might entertain a few friends. An organization that previously compiled first hand accounts of war veterans and newcomers to Canada is collecting first person records of life during Covid-19--a living archive they call it. Brock University is collecting them for Niagara Region and has been in touch with me. Shirley from B.C. responded instantly to my first mail-out saying I should forward it to the Globe because of its immediacy--this is how it is in St. Catharines right now. I thought it over and decided the writing wasn't good enough for a national paper, but this, I think I'll go with it if they decide to use it. They want writing without the filter of hindsight. Since none of us knows how this will end, I think this qualifies.

Stay safe. I'm sure nothing interesting will happen next week either, but I'll be here reporting it anyway.

With tongue still firmly in cheek, your diarist of the plague year, I remain,

Bill


Bill Hogan
Wed 2020-04-01 5:18 PM

Living in a Dangerous Time

I got out today, having been cooped up for two weeks due to social isolation, and my, how the local world has changed.

Timmies now has drive-through only, with a gloved and masked person serving cheerfully. The Avondale (newspaper) has added distancing markers on the floor, plastic shields at the counter and shorter hours.

Dollarama (snacks you know--essential in a time of stay-at-home crisis) seemed to be running low on Viva Puffs, but Smartfood and creme eggs were still plentiful. No I didn't hoard up. I didn't mind bagging stuff myself. The cashier threw a hissy-fit about cash.

The Beer Store, now, was a different story. Cash ONLY, and you can't return empties anymore. (What will the beer bottle gleaners do?) The cash-out was weird, too--it reminded me of the Israeli check-point crossing into the West Bank. Yellow tape 9 feet away from the cashiers. Put your money in a cardboard box (and ID if needed) and step away while it was retrieved and change given. But thank heaven, they are still open. (I know, I know, in Doug Ford's Ontario the beer store will always be open.)

On the way to Virgil to pick up flowers at rock-bottom prices so the wholesale growers don't have to compost them all, I passed Private Eyes. Closed. I guess it's pretty hard to give lap dances during social distancing. Has anyone considered those poor girls, eh?

At the wholesale florist you don't get out of the car. You roll down your window, place your order with someone 15 feet away, the flowers are put in your trunk, and you leave exact change only. Now this reminded me of being in the English countryside during hoof and mouth disease, whatever it was called.

Since regular sources of flowers, for me the Farmers' Market or The Watering Can, were closed, I thought I'd get flowers for friends, too. But Fonthill has flowers! Not allowed to open, two places had self-serve options in vacant lots. One of them a customer of mine long ago in the barn system, copied my idea exactly! He used a red tool box with a slit in the top to leave cash in (with a bicycle chain, though). But he also added a 21st century idea. If you didn't have exact change you could transfer money by phone to his online account. Cool.

There were some masks on the streets, but not a lot. There was much less traffic. The school zone flashing lights went off at 3:15 even though there's no school and won't be for weeks. The police were still stopping speeders. Gas is down to 78 cents but there's no where to go.

The Book Depot was closed but put 10,000 books on line and offered free delivery in March.

Nigh's got Health Dept. permission to take phone and online orders and deliver out the door to your car. All their Easter chocolate was made before the lockdown.

That's the outside world in St. Catharines, in Canada, on this first day of April, 2020. This was written just to record one exact moment in time so I'll be able to recall the wonder of our world ten years from now when I start to write The Great Canadian Novel I've been forever threatening people with. By the way, when in quarantine from the plague, Shakespeare wrote Macbeth and King Lear! This will have to do for now.

In lockdown again,

Bill

 
On Sunday, April 5, 2020, Bill Hogan <billhoganantiques@hotmail.com> wrote:

Living in a Dangerous Time Take 2

Three weeks in on this self-isolation business and there's been some little changes. I'm kind of sporting a Hemingway-like look since there's no barbers open, and I think Pauline's sporting a less restrictive undergarment look since she doesn't go out and no-one visits. (Yes, I'm 76, but I'm not dead, you know. I sometimes notice things like that.)

This has been the week of Zoom. Last week I'd never even heard of it; this week it's Zoom Zoom everywhere. Lindsay has Global Fund meetings daily on Zoom; her nine year old daughter, Maddie, Zooms friends in the evenings. Australian Michelle (well, almost, her and Brad's citizenship has been postponed to August now) Zooms colleagues for work and Ian the Fireman's 16-year-old daughter Zooms with friends till 2 a.m. (Mamas, don't let your daughters grow up to be night owls!)

Even Pauline got in on it suddenly with a new Women's Bible Study Zoom-in or whatever the technical term might be. I'm never up at 10 a.m. so I didn't witness it personally, but P. said it was quite funny. Various people on mute, others frozen, then missing, children popping up, dogs interested, random husbands floating past, washroom breaks needed. But in the end a great community get-together. And technology passes me by again.

The weather has warmed up a bit, so I've been cleaning up the garden from our winter storms and got the fountain up and running. And I wonder if we'll still have our annual summer garden party.

P. has decided to make us masks since this week the information seemed to have changed and it's recommended now in some circles. She did her first grocery store run with one on, and I got a picture of her returning with it still on, carrying groceries and toilet paper. Really, we needed it. The toilet paper, I mean, not the mask. (Oops, too much detail, maybe.) She might put the picture up on Facebook, I'm not sure.

Speaking of P., I know she signed up for richer, for poorer, but did she really sign up for living on a desert island with someone 24 hours a day? I think not. (I'm not sure she thinks I'm quite as funny as I think I am.)

Interestingly, a couple of her friends, commenting on last week's blog, mentioned how loving I was to venture out to get flowers last week FOR HER. Oh. Yeah. For HER for sure. Yeah. Okay.

Although I didn't venture out this week, I noticed that in this working-class neighborhood all the cars are in their driveways all the time. So strange and so quiet.

Maggie next door reported huge line-ups--with distancing--outside the marijuana shop near Lakeshore Meats where she shops.Ian the Fireman is only one quarter as busy as usual at work. His wife, Fiona, in management in the Niagara Health system, put in 50 extra hours last week. Chris, a Toronto court room clerk, is fretting seriously at the lack of social distancing in the court system--people whispering in his ear, standing close to discuss matters.

I want to give a shout-out to some businesses and people. My local Rexall pharmacy waived my fee for a prescription because by law now they can only give me one month's supply of pills, not three, making me liable for three fees for the same number of pills. Thanks also to The Hilton which makes up a free once a week meal for all 1,000 employees to pick up in a drive-thru system with the owners and management doing the handout. As well as Fiona, others are in the health care business, too. Laurie from church is a nurse and Rick and Becky's daughter Kaity works in a hospital. Stay safe, my friends.

When I sent out last week's missive, I sent it to about a dozen people. The response was so overwhelming, I then also sent it out to about another dozen who had appreciated my Adventures in Newfoundland blog. The response was again stunning. Long letters from many. Encouragement from lots to keep writing, maybe start my theoretical novel now.

I hadn't expected that. After I hit send last week, I actually expected a number to write, "Stay at home, shithead!" because I talked of going out for snacks, flowers, etc. I guess those who thought it, didn't write it. (I didn't venture out this week, so don't start on me now.) I even took one terse reply, "Rave on, Bill." as positive, figuring it was synonymous with "Rock on, Bill" not "Rant on" or "Ramble on."

My thoughts now are that those that don't want to read these scribblings can just hit delete, so I'm sending this out to all my 35 or so contacts. I expect that for many, equally isolated, after a kind of exhilaration from the first week or two, there's a worrying or a sadness creeping in, and if my writing may bring a smile or two, it's been worthwhile. And if writing back might bring a release or two, Rave On, readers. I look forward to your replies and YOUR stories of lockdown, week three.

Bill

 
Bill Hogan
Fri 2020-04-10 12:51 AM

Signs of Our Times – Week Four in Isolation

Let the record show that in the fourth week of the Covid -19 lockdown in St. Catharines the various governments have shut down all construction sites, barred in-store customers at hardware stores (but you can line up outside and place an order) closed off all city parks and blockaded the cemeteries. Let the record also show that Pauline has run out of cat video sites and moved onto kitten videos.

As this noose of closings tightens and tightens, it's inevitable the loss of civil liberties comes into play. There are problems, but nothing has really fussed me so far except the cemetery rule. It's cruel. Sure, no funeral gatherings, but a couple visiting a grave site getting run off? It's just coincidence, but our son Edward's birth date is April 20 and we usually visited his grave and gave the plot a good spring clean-up, adding new flowers. I guess not, this year. Twenty-three years ago, now, more years than he lived.

As well as civil liberties being hijacked, I'm just a touch bothered by a couple of things. The busses now have signs on them, "Essential Travel Only" as if anyone in this city would voluntarily get on a bus if they didn't need to. Stop with this rude signage!. I also feel sorry for the many regular customers of my local Tim Horton's who don't own cars and are not allowed to walk up to the drive-thru window. This is a poor area with low quality apartment blocks so there's lots without cars. Whatever.

There's been some great comments online on this stay-at-home stuff. Pauline was cracked up by Sharon's take on it. She says this situation is turning us into dogs; we're constantly roaming around looking for food, watching for any motion outside the front window, being told no if we get too close to strangers and getting really excited about a car ride. Rollo suggests that if you have a glass of wine in each hand you can't touch your face. My sister Karen said that today she ventured into that great forgotten place--OUTSIDE!

Oh, I've been corrected on a few items. Private Eyes was closed some time ago before the Coronavirus came, I just hadn't noticed. Maddie is ten not nine, as she strongly let me know; it was two months ago, Grandpa. Lindsay does not use Zoom, but a more sophisticated more secure cousin for her work at The Global Fund. She was just trying to dumb it down for me. And two people laughed at "The Hemingway" and suggested something like Old Order Amish would be closer.

And if I'm doing mea culpas I might add I stole that line about "the cheap price of gas and nowhere to go" from Martha and I ran with a riff from Brad on Michelle's early morning Zoom conference calls without footnoting that either. I've felt guilty for a week.

Well the first two weeks of isolation I sorted through 5,000 photos, throwing 4,000 out, and putting the rest into albums. Want to know what this family was doing in the summer of '69? There's an album for that. Now Pauline says I have to go through and identify everyone. Eeeeuw! Really? Maybe next year.

Last week I went through boxes of memorabilia, filing things properly. I'll share some of the interesting items in later ramblings, but one item tickled me. I was once editor of Canada's oldest weekly (Permit # 1), the Lindsay Watchman-Warder. Then, after marriage, I worked as the political/municipal reporter for the Etobicoke weekly. Since my regular copy ran a week after events, I also became a "stringer" for The Toronto Telegram, a Toronto daily, if there was an important Etobicoke story. I've got all these pay stubs and I just love the wages--"Four stories, June 1970, $28." (I did make page 2 once, for $25, though.) Mama don't let your sons grow up to be news guys.

It wasn't the wages that got me out of a career in newspapers, however. Council wanted to put an incinerator in Etobicoke and every NIMBY kook fought it. (My favorite quote was "Put it in the Mayor's back yard!"). I wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote The Great Etobicoke Incinerator Story 48 times. I still have nightmares about it. End of THAT career.

I've included with this blog, I guess you'd call it, some pictures of the signs from around my block--Timmies, the local hardware store, the Avondale, Confederation Park (where the rabbits are, kids) and the nearby bus stop. Yes, signs of our times.

Before I close, I'd like to mention how this plague has really sharpened our priorities. Forget the Trump impeachment, forget Trudeau's political fumbles, forget the terrible new Tim Horton's lids. We all now concentrate on the really important things, like keeping safe and keeping loved ones safer. As the Premier of Nova Scotia said, "Stay the blazes home".

Have a happy Easter.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-18 4:55 AM

More of Bill and Pauline’s Excellent Adventures

Well, we've both had some excitement this week--I went to the bank and P. was visited by Easter Bunnies. This is what constitutes excitement in week 5 of THE LOCKDOWN.

Now I know some are shaking their heads about my needing to go to a physical bank in this day of ATM's and online bill paying, but this was a special case. You see, I owed the government money on 2019 income tax and they requested payment by April 30 and I wanted to really make sure they got it. Even though my accountant said to ignore this, I'm hoping somewhere in the future to qualify for CERB or some other government largesse and don't want it held up because I owe them money.

So, on to the bank. Well, I hadn't been forever, and since I use a bank with great hours, 8a.m to 8 p.m. five days a week and also open Saturdays and Sundays, I arrived at 8a.m. (still a night owl, up a little later than usual) to find the bank had reverted to what we used to call banker's hours--10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Oh.

Back at 10 a.m., not quite so chipper now. Long line outside in 1 degree weather, people spaced somewhat, but not really six feet apart. Now I'm feeling a little surly. But I had my homemade mask (yea, Pauline) and good gloves, so no problem. When I got to the front of the line (still outside) I met my young Walmart greeter, dressed in a TD ball cap and TD jacket and a very cheery, chipper attitude. "So, how are you feeling today?" she goes.

Now I'm no fool. This isn't Maggie and I talking over the backyard fence where the response might have included the state of the arthritis (Maggie) or the insomnia (me), this was the all-powerful border agent controlling the entry gate, smile be damned.

My attitude did a 360 degree turnabout. "Great, just great, just waiting for Spring to come."

"Have you been travelling?"

"No, no. Just cocooning at home."

"Why did you need to come to the bank today?"

I knew I'd be in trouble if I said to pay a couple of bills because I'd probably get a lesson on how to pay online, so smart as anything I said I needed some toonies for my business (well, for buying Timmies, anyway, but that's MY business.) I thought I was homefree.

Then, just inside the bank I met border guard number two. No more cheery attitude from the flinty-eyed schoolmarm confronting me. "Clean your hands!" she barked. Off came the gloves. I mean my gloves. And I meekly washed my hands with a solution in the dispenser that made my hands feeling like they were being washed in lye. My hands are very chapped and at home I use special unscented hand soap specially prepared for me at a local shop. Grimacing in pain, I put my gloves back on for round two.

"Do you have your mobile phone?" She was stunned when I said I didn't have one. "Well, starting tomorrow, you have to download our app (eyes glazing over) and stay in your car until we text you for your appointment!" It seems they haven't quite worked out what happens to Luddites like me, but I guess starting the next day I would have to stand outside by myself until someone came to get me, maybe. Or maybe not. It looks like my going to the bank days are over.

I was well-served by the teller who managed to not touch anything, using a pencil to push things around and a stamp to show my bills paid. Oh, I got my toonies of course.

Pauline's excitement was much more positive. The Easter Bunnies (two of them cleverly disguised as Rick, P.'s brother, and Becky of Nigh's Sweet Shop) came to her the day before Easter with a care package of chocolate. We always go out to get Easter chocolate for us, for neighbours, for my co-workers at The Hilton, but this year talked it over and decided to "Just Stay Home" like good little lambs. Nigh's were taking telephone orders and delivering to people's cars throughout the Easter season. Rick said they sold about a third of what they usually would.

Pauline said they talked, her in the doorway, the Nighs on the sidewalk, for a good while, and it was so exhilarating, she said. Our first visitors in weeks! I was so sad I missed it, the visit being at the crack of noon, long before I get up. Becky said she missed her grandchildren so; she felt like driving all the way to Peterborough just to wave at them through the window.

Speaking of grandkids, this was the week that the long-term reality of this epidemic sank in. The kids were due to come over from Switzerland for the summer June 27. But how will that work, now? The government rules state that everyone from a foreign country must quarantine for two weeks. If there is no written plan, the government itself will quarantine the visitors in hotels. Can they come stay with us? Will there be summer camp for them at Camp Kahquah? And will there be anything to do, yet, or will we still be in lockdown?

Similarly, I guess I have to face the reality that The Hilton is unlikely to need valet drivers this summer. All 65 in the valet department have been laid off, and until about 500 of their 1050 rooms have been rented, patrons can self-park. Hilton International policy calls for valet service to be offered, but these are extraordinary times and rules may be out the window.

A couple of other observations. Correctly so, someone chided me about my bus comment last week. I realize bus drivers have died of Covid. But no bus in St. Catharines ever has more than five people on it, it seems, unless it's Brock students and Brock is shut down. As well, riders enter from the rear doors. Still it was insensitive and I apologize.

Something else. Lindsay reports that last week, with wonderful 20 degree weather, the usually law-abiding Swiss started to rebel. Whole families went grocery shopping, people gathered in the parks. Now Switzerland started its self-isolation a week before us, but their infected and dead almost exactly mirror Canada's, at this point. So if the law-abiding Swiss revolt, what's going to happen here? Maybe we've been lucky it's so cold (snow three times this week, minus six degrees one night) so it's easier to stay in and be cosy. I guess watch out for a blowback if it ever hits 20 degrees here before things are relaxed.

Other quick notes. The Beer Store is now accepting empties (in limited quantities per person!) at one location locally since they were running out of bottles. Oh, and that demand for cash only? That was just because someone hacked their system so their machines were down for up to three weeks.

Filled up with gas for the first time in 5 weeks. At 77cents.

Our backyard flowers will wait for nothing. We've had some snowdrops, countless crocuses, billions of bluebells, dozens of daffodils, and now the forsythia is starting to....bloom. (Sorry, ran out of alliteration.) Maggie's tulip tree, correct name unknown, that gorgeous showy thing, is in bud. Picture next week.

Peace to all, stay safe, keep your spirits up. More excitement next week, too.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-25 9:17 AM

Journal of the Plague Year Week 6

Apologies to Danny Defoe (real name Daniel Foe) for ripping off his book title on the 1665 Black Death plague, but it's so appropriate. Speaking of Defoe, I suggested to Pauline that maybe instead of Hemingway, at week six I now resembled Robinson Crusoe, but she rolled her eyes, so no selfie of my current wild-man look.

I think Pauline has moved on to cute dog videos, now, because she shared a couple of videos of a British sports announcer giving a gripping commentary on his two dogs racing to finish their bowls of food, and then another of one guarding a toy bone from the other. Hilarious. Nothing is really happening here, and he made it entertaining anyway. Hopefully I'm doing the same because NOTHING IS REALLY HAPPENING HERE.

Other than my daily Tim Horton run, I didn't budge past the back yard this week. Over at Timmies every server now wears a mask and gloves and the coffees now come on a cardboard box top or in one of their recyclable trays. No hand serving. I also noticed a sign for do-it-yourself donut decorating boxes (for kids I suspect) of six donuts for $5.99. Way to keep kids occupied Tim.

I did notice a couple of "happenings" in our neighborhood, though, on my Tim's run. First of all, the church on the corner one block over has been having line-ups outside. It seems that since it's closed, and it has a ministry to the many area sex trade workers and homeless people, it offers lunches and groceries through the kitchen window three days a week. They do 500 sandwiches and 300 bags of groceries each week, and 100 cups of coffee and 100 soups each day. Hats off to Westview Centre4Women at 124 Queenston St. That was not a joke about the sex trade workers--this is a serious ministry.

Just about across the street from Westview Fellowship, the local Community Garden has been shut down since it's not an essential service, so there's no one there getting the ground ready. (Yes, I know May 24 weekend is the traditional planting date in Southern Ontario.) The 70 Niagara Community Gardens banded together this week to plead with Doug Ford to let them open with distancing guidelines and wash-up stations. 600 families count on these gardens in Niagara. I understand they're doing seedlings in anticipation of Covid rules relaxing.

On Pauline's side of the home she's watching a lot more You Tube videos and reading news from various world websites. Me, I read The Globe, the National Post and watch The National. I just don't get this You Tube, Facebook, conspiracy theory world. A side effect of these videos, though, are the great great great new recipe meals she's preparing based on those videos. We had French Onion soup to die for. And tonight it was a three-hit wonder, smothered chicken and gravy, roasted scalloped potatoes and cheesy stuffed biscuits. We don't order in at all--one pick-up Wendy's in the last six weeks.

Pauline did have a couple of new shopping experiences. She needed a new desk lamp bulb; yes a vital need. She ordered and paid online with Canadian Tire, they emailed the order was ready, and she drove to the store, parked in the letter E of the spray-painted parking lot and phoned to say what letter she was in. Out came the clerk with her tiny bag. Others had shopping carts full of merchandise being loaded so I guess do-it-yourselfers are finally getting long-postponed projects accomplished. Efficient and smart, I'd say, Canadian Tire.

At the grocery store, there are still long line-ups, still no flour and little baking supplies, the aisles are one way and now you can't use your own shopping bags. Each week a little stricter as we all adapt.

Speaking of line-ups, I remember queuing forever in England in 1952-53 when there was still rationing. I think one line was for orange juice, one for eggs, and I'm not sure, maybe one for cod liver oil. Maggie next door remembers taking two bus rides to get the weekly roast from the black market. Pauline remembers the large "Quarantine" sign tacked to the front door when her brother Harry contracted polio in the 50's. We've come full circle in our lives.

Since Air Miles expire after a year if you don't take another trip and we're not taking one, I cashed mine for $100 at Chapters and spent most of it already, and Pauline took $100 for Amazon. And in another sign of new world disorder Amazon told her it was concentrating on important shipments and her order should arrive in a month from now. Wow!

Remember I said it was important I paid off that $152 I owed on 2019 income tax? Yep, in these tough financial times the Ontario government withheld my monthly $48.50 Trillium benefit because I owed them money! Even though I paid long before the April 30 deadline. Rotten bastards.

On the other hand, the Feds ordered banks to ease up on bank card interest rates, so I contacted TD and I applied online for a kick-back of 50% of the interest each month for three months. They'll let me know in 30 days "due to the high volume of requests". I'll let you know how it ends up.

Oh. The never-ending bus sign saga. Once again I'm wrong, wrong, wrong. I was annoyed at the very large "Essential Travel Only" sign thinking it was rude and who would willingly take a St. Catharines bus (besides students) if they didn't need to. Well it seems lots of people. To protect the drivers, passengers enter from the rear and a big yellow chain separates the driver a long way from the passengers. And since revenues are down 90% anyway, no-one checks for bus passes or tickets. This became known. Enter the "non destination passenger" and the "riders exploring new areas of St. Catharines". I finally cracked the euphemism code. The homeless are riding around and around. What a gig! Warm soothing ride, a different vista each day. The bus seats are blocked now so each bus can only take ten passengers. The first eleventh passenger is told a new bus has been ordered from the depot to come for them. Thus the sign. I get it now.

One last item and I'll let you go. I started this blog April 1 after two weeks of isolation to record my life for future reference as a writer and thought it might entertain a few friends. An organization that previously compiled first hand accounts of war veterans and newcomers to Canada is collecting first person records of life during Covid-19--a living archive they call it. Brock University is collecting them for Niagara Region and has been in touch with me. Shirley from B.C. responded instantly to my first mail-out saying I should forward it to the Globe because of its immediacy--this is how it is in St. Catharines right now. I thought it over and decided the writing wasn't good enough for a national paper, but this, I think I'll go with it if they decide to use it. They want writing without the filter of hindsight. Since none of us knows how this will end, I think this qualifies.

Stay safe. I'm sure nothing interesting will happen next week either, but I'll be here reporting it anyway.

With tongue still firmly in cheek, your diarist of the plague year, I remain,

Bill


Bill Hogan
Wed 2020-04-01 5:18 PM

Living in a Dangerous Time

I got out today, having been cooped up for two weeks due to social isolation, and my, how the local world has changed.

Timmies now has drive-through only, with a gloved and masked person serving cheerfully. The Avondale (newspaper) has added distancing markers on the floor, plastic shields at the counter and shorter hours.

Dollarama (snacks you know--essential in a time of stay-at-home crisis) seemed to be running low on Viva Puffs, but Smartfood and creme eggs were still plentiful. No I didn't hoard up. I didn't mind bagging stuff myself. The cashier threw a hissy-fit about cash.

The Beer Store, now, was a different story. Cash ONLY, and you can't return empties anymore. (What will the beer bottle gleaners do?) The cash-out was weird, too--it reminded me of the Israeli check-point crossing into the West Bank. Yellow tape 9 feet away from the cashiers. Put your money in a cardboard box (and ID if needed) and step away while it was retrieved and change given. But thank heaven, they are still open. (I know, I know, in Doug Ford's Ontario the beer store will always be open.)

On the way to Virgil to pick up flowers at rock-bottom prices so the wholesale growers don't have to compost them all, I passed Private Eyes. Closed. I guess it's pretty hard to give lap dances during social distancing. Has anyone considered those poor girls, eh?

At the wholesale florist you don't get out of the car. You roll down your window, place your order with someone 15 feet away, the flowers are put in your trunk, and you leave exact change only. Now this reminded me of being in the English countryside during hoof and mouth disease, whatever it was called.

Since regular sources of flowers, for me the Farmers' Market or The Watering Can, were closed, I thought I'd get flowers for friends, too. But Fonthill has flowers! Not allowed to open, two places had self-serve options in vacant lots. One of them a customer of mine long ago in the barn system, copied my idea exactly! He used a red tool box with a slit in the top to leave cash in (with a bicycle chain, though). But he also added a 21st century idea. If you didn't have exact change you could transfer money by phone to his online account. Cool.

There were some masks on the streets, but not a lot. There was much less traffic. The school zone flashing lights went off at 3:15 even though there's no school and won't be for weeks. The police were still stopping speeders. Gas is down to 78 cents but there's no where to go.

The Book Depot was closed but put 10,000 books on line and offered free delivery in March.

Nigh's got Health Dept. permission to take phone and online orders and deliver out the door to your car. All their Easter chocolate was made before the lockdown.

That's the outside world in St. Catharines, in Canada, on this first day of April, 2020. This was written just to record one exact moment in time so I'll be able to recall the wonder of our world ten years from now when I start to write The Great Canadian Novel I've been forever threatening people with. By the way, when in quarantine from the plague, Shakespeare wrote Macbeth and King Lear! This will have to do for now.

In lockdown again,

Bill

 
On Sunday, April 5, 2020, Bill Hogan <billhoganantiques@hotmail.com> wrote:

Living in a Dangerous Time Take 2

Three weeks in on this self-isolation business and there's been some little changes. I'm kind of sporting a Hemingway-like look since there's no barbers open, and I think Pauline's sporting a less restrictive undergarment look since she doesn't go out and no-one visits. (Yes, I'm 76, but I'm not dead, you know. I sometimes notice things like that.)

This has been the week of Zoom. Last week I'd never even heard of it; this week it's Zoom Zoom everywhere. Lindsay has Global Fund meetings daily on Zoom; her nine year old daughter, Maddie, Zooms friends in the evenings. Australian Michelle (well, almost, her and Brad's citizenship has been postponed to August now) Zooms colleagues for work and Ian the Fireman's 16-year-old daughter Zooms with friends till 2 a.m. (Mamas, don't let your daughters grow up to be night owls!)

Even Pauline got in on it suddenly with a new Women's Bible Study Zoom-in or whatever the technical term might be. I'm never up at 10 a.m. so I didn't witness it personally, but P. said it was quite funny. Various people on mute, others frozen, then missing, children popping up, dogs interested, random husbands floating past, washroom breaks needed. But in the end a great community get-together. And technology passes me by again.

The weather has warmed up a bit, so I've been cleaning up the garden from our winter storms and got the fountain up and running. And I wonder if we'll still have our annual summer garden party.

P. has decided to make us masks since this week the information seemed to have changed and it's recommended now in some circles. She did her first grocery store run with one on, and I got a picture of her returning with it still on, carrying groceries and toilet paper. Really, we needed it. The toilet paper, I mean, not the mask. (Oops, too much detail, maybe.) She might put the picture up on Facebook, I'm not sure.

Speaking of P., I know she signed up for richer, for poorer, but did she really sign up for living on a desert island with someone 24 hours a day? I think not. (I'm not sure she thinks I'm quite as funny as I think I am.)

Interestingly, a couple of her friends, commenting on last week's blog, mentioned how loving I was to venture out to get flowers last week FOR HER. Oh. Yeah. For HER for sure. Yeah. Okay.

Although I didn't venture out this week, I noticed that in this working-class neighborhood all the cars are in their driveways all the time. So strange and so quiet.

Maggie next door reported huge line-ups--with distancing--outside the marijuana shop near Lakeshore Meats where she shops.Ian the Fireman is only one quarter as busy as usual at work. His wife, Fiona, in management in the Niagara Health system, put in 50 extra hours last week. Chris, a Toronto court room clerk, is fretting seriously at the lack of social distancing in the court system--people whispering in his ear, standing close to discuss matters.

I want to give a shout-out to some businesses and people. My local Rexall pharmacy waived my fee for a prescription because by law now they can only give me one month's supply of pills, not three, making me liable for three fees for the same number of pills. Thanks also to The Hilton which makes up a free once a week meal for all 1,000 employees to pick up in a drive-thru system with the owners and management doing the handout. As well as Fiona, others are in the health care business, too. Laurie from church is a nurse and Rick and Becky's daughter Kaity works in a hospital. Stay safe, my friends.

When I sent out last week's missive, I sent it to about a dozen people. The response was so overwhelming, I then also sent it out to about another dozen who had appreciated my Adventures in Newfoundland blog. The response was again stunning. Long letters from many. Encouragement from lots to keep writing, maybe start my theoretical novel now.

I hadn't expected that. After I hit send last week, I actually expected a number to write, "Stay at home, shithead!" because I talked of going out for snacks, flowers, etc. I guess those who thought it, didn't write it. (I didn't venture out this week, so don't start on me now.) I even took one terse reply, "Rave on, Bill." as positive, figuring it was synonymous with "Rock on, Bill" not "Rant on" or "Ramble on."

My thoughts now are that those that don't want to read these scribblings can just hit delete, so I'm sending this out to all my 35 or so contacts. I expect that for many, equally isolated, after a kind of exhilaration from the first week or two, there's a worrying or a sadness creeping in, and if my writing may bring a smile or two, it's been worthwhile. And if writing back might bring a release or two, Rave On, readers. I look forward to your replies and YOUR stories of lockdown, week three.

Bill

 
Bill Hogan
Fri 2020-04-10 12:51 AM

Signs of Our Times – Week Four in Isolation

Let the record show that in the fourth week of the Covid -19 lockdown in St. Catharines the various governments have shut down all construction sites, barred in-store customers at hardware stores (but you can line up outside and place an order) closed off all city parks and blockaded the cemeteries. Let the record also show that Pauline has run out of cat video sites and moved onto kitten videos.

As this noose of closings tightens and tightens, it's inevitable the loss of civil liberties comes into play. There are problems, but nothing has really fussed me so far except the cemetery rule. It's cruel. Sure, no funeral gatherings, but a couple visiting a grave site getting run off? It's just coincidence, but our son Edward's birth date is April 20 and we usually visited his grave and gave the plot a good spring clean-up, adding new flowers. I guess not, this year. Twenty-three years ago, now, more years than he lived.

As well as civil liberties being hijacked, I'm just a touch bothered by a couple of things. The busses now have signs on them, "Essential Travel Only" as if anyone in this city would voluntarily get on a bus if they didn't need to. Stop with this rude signage!. I also feel sorry for the many regular customers of my local Tim Horton's who don't own cars and are not allowed to walk up to the drive-thru window. This is a poor area with low quality apartment blocks so there's lots without cars. Whatever.

There's been some great comments online on this stay-at-home stuff. Pauline was cracked up by Sharon's take on it. She says this situation is turning us into dogs; we're constantly roaming around looking for food, watching for any motion outside the front window, being told no if we get too close to strangers and getting really excited about a car ride. Rollo suggests that if you have a glass of wine in each hand you can't touch your face. My sister Karen said that today she ventured into that great forgotten place--OUTSIDE!

Oh, I've been corrected on a few items. Private Eyes was closed some time ago before the Coronavirus came, I just hadn't noticed. Maddie is ten not nine, as she strongly let me know; it was two months ago, Grandpa. Lindsay does not use Zoom, but a more sophisticated more secure cousin for her work at The Global Fund. She was just trying to dumb it down for me. And two people laughed at "The Hemingway" and suggested something like Old Order Amish would be closer.

And if I'm doing mea culpas I might add I stole that line about "the cheap price of gas and nowhere to go" from Martha and I ran with a riff from Brad on Michelle's early morning Zoom conference calls without footnoting that either. I've felt guilty for a week.

Well the first two weeks of isolation I sorted through 5,000 photos, throwing 4,000 out, and putting the rest into albums. Want to know what this family was doing in the summer of '69? There's an album for that. Now Pauline says I have to go through and identify everyone. Eeeeuw! Really? Maybe next year.

Last week I went through boxes of memorabilia, filing things properly. I'll share some of the interesting items in later ramblings, but one item tickled me. I was once editor of Canada's oldest weekly (Permit # 1), the Lindsay Watchman-Warder. Then, after marriage, I worked as the political/municipal reporter for the Etobicoke weekly. Since my regular copy ran a week after events, I also became a "stringer" for The Toronto Telegram, a Toronto daily, if there was an important Etobicoke story. I've got all these pay stubs and I just love the wages--"Four stories, June 1970, $28." (I did make page 2 once, for $25, though.) Mama don't let your sons grow up to be news guys.

It wasn't the wages that got me out of a career in newspapers, however. Council wanted to put an incinerator in Etobicoke and every NIMBY kook fought it. (My favorite quote was "Put it in the Mayor's back yard!"). I wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote The Great Etobicoke Incinerator Story 48 times. I still have nightmares about it. End of THAT career.

I've included with this blog, I guess you'd call it, some pictures of the signs from around my block--Timmies, the local hardware store, the Avondale, Confederation Park (where the rabbits are, kids) and the nearby bus stop. Yes, signs of our times.

Before I close, I'd like to mention how this plague has really sharpened our priorities. Forget the Trump impeachment, forget Trudeau's political fumbles, forget the terrible new Tim Horton's lids. We all now concentrate on the really important things, like keeping safe and keeping loved ones safer. As the Premier of Nova Scotia said, "Stay the blazes home".

Have a happy Easter.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-18 4:55 AM

More of Bill and Pauline’s Excellent Adventures

Well, we've both had some excitement this week--I went to the bank and P. was visited by Easter Bunnies. This is what constitutes excitement in week 5 of THE LOCKDOWN.

Now I know some are shaking their heads about my needing to go to a physical bank in this day of ATM's and online bill paying, but this was a special case. You see, I owed the government money on 2019 income tax and they requested payment by April 30 and I wanted to really make sure they got it. Even though my accountant said to ignore this, I'm hoping somewhere in the future to qualify for CERB or some other government largesse and don't want it held up because I owe them money.

So, on to the bank. Well, I hadn't been forever, and since I use a bank with great hours, 8a.m to 8 p.m. five days a week and also open Saturdays and Sundays, I arrived at 8a.m. (still a night owl, up a little later than usual) to find the bank had reverted to what we used to call banker's hours--10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Oh.

Back at 10 a.m., not quite so chipper now. Long line outside in 1 degree weather, people spaced somewhat, but not really six feet apart. Now I'm feeling a little surly. But I had my homemade mask (yea, Pauline) and good gloves, so no problem. When I got to the front of the line (still outside) I met my young Walmart greeter, dressed in a TD ball cap and TD jacket and a very cheery, chipper attitude. "So, how are you feeling today?" she goes.

Now I'm no fool. This isn't Maggie and I talking over the backyard fence where the response might have included the state of the arthritis (Maggie) or the insomnia (me), this was the all-powerful border agent controlling the entry gate, smile be damned.

My attitude did a 360 degree turnabout. "Great, just great, just waiting for Spring to come."

"Have you been travelling?"

"No, no. Just cocooning at home."

"Why did you need to come to the bank today?"

I knew I'd be in trouble if I said to pay a couple of bills because I'd probably get a lesson on how to pay online, so smart as anything I said I needed some toonies for my business (well, for buying Timmies, anyway, but that's MY business.) I thought I was homefree.

Then, just inside the bank I met border guard number two. No more cheery attitude from the flinty-eyed schoolmarm confronting me. "Clean your hands!" she barked. Off came the gloves. I mean my gloves. And I meekly washed my hands with a solution in the dispenser that made my hands feeling like they were being washed in lye. My hands are very chapped and at home I use special unscented hand soap specially prepared for me at a local shop. Grimacing in pain, I put my gloves back on for round two.

"Do you have your mobile phone?" She was stunned when I said I didn't have one. "Well, starting tomorrow, you have to download our app (eyes glazing over) and stay in your car until we text you for your appointment!" It seems they haven't quite worked out what happens to Luddites like me, but I guess starting the next day I would have to stand outside by myself until someone came to get me, maybe. Or maybe not. It looks like my going to the bank days are over.

I was well-served by the teller who managed to not touch anything, using a pencil to push things around and a stamp to show my bills paid. Oh, I got my toonies of course.

Pauline's excitement was much more positive. The Easter Bunnies (two of them cleverly disguised as Rick, P.'s brother, and Becky of Nigh's Sweet Shop) came to her the day before Easter with a care package of chocolate. We always go out to get Easter chocolate for us, for neighbours, for my co-workers at The Hilton, but this year talked it over and decided to "Just Stay Home" like good little lambs. Nigh's were taking telephone orders and delivering to people's cars throughout the Easter season. Rick said they sold about a third of what they usually would.

Pauline said they talked, her in the doorway, the Nighs on the sidewalk, for a good while, and it was so exhilarating, she said. Our first visitors in weeks! I was so sad I missed it, the visit being at the crack of noon, long before I get up. Becky said she missed her grandchildren so; she felt like driving all the way to Peterborough just to wave at them through the window.

Speaking of grandkids, this was the week that the long-term reality of this epidemic sank in. The kids were due to come over from Switzerland for the summer June 27. But how will that work, now? The government rules state that everyone from a foreign country must quarantine for two weeks. If there is no written plan, the government itself will quarantine the visitors in hotels. Can they come stay with us? Will there be summer camp for them at Camp Kahquah? And will there be anything to do, yet, or will we still be in lockdown?

Similarly, I guess I have to face the reality that The Hilton is unlikely to need valet drivers this summer. All 65 in the valet department have been laid off, and until about 500 of their 1050 rooms have been rented, patrons can self-park. Hilton International policy calls for valet service to be offered, but these are extraordinary times and rules may be out the window.

A couple of other observations. Correctly so, someone chided me about my bus comment last week. I realize bus drivers have died of Covid. But no bus in St. Catharines ever has more than five people on it, it seems, unless it's Brock students and Brock is shut down. As well, riders enter from the rear doors. Still it was insensitive and I apologize.

Something else. Lindsay reports that last week, with wonderful 20 degree weather, the usually law-abiding Swiss started to rebel. Whole families went grocery shopping, people gathered in the parks. Now Switzerland started its self-isolation a week before us, but their infected and dead almost exactly mirror Canada's, at this point. So if the law-abiding Swiss revolt, what's going to happen here? Maybe we've been lucky it's so cold (snow three times this week, minus six degrees one night) so it's easier to stay in and be cosy. I guess watch out for a blowback if it ever hits 20 degrees here before things are relaxed.

Other quick notes. The Beer Store is now accepting empties (in limited quantities per person!) at one location locally since they were running out of bottles. Oh, and that demand for cash only? That was just because someone hacked their system so their machines were down for up to three weeks.

Filled up with gas for the first time in 5 weeks. At 77cents.

Our backyard flowers will wait for nothing. We've had some snowdrops, countless crocuses, billions of bluebells, dozens of daffodils, and now the forsythia is starting to....bloom. (Sorry, ran out of alliteration.) Maggie's tulip tree, correct name unknown, that gorgeous showy thing, is in bud. Picture next week.

Peace to all, stay safe, keep your spirits up. More excitement next week, too.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-25 9:17 AM

Journal of the Plague Year Week 6

Apologies to Danny Defoe (real name Daniel Foe) for ripping off his book title on the 1665 Black Death plague, but it's so appropriate. Speaking of Defoe, I suggested to Pauline that maybe instead of Hemingway, at week six I now resembled Robinson Crusoe, but she rolled her eyes, so no selfie of my current wild-man look.

I think Pauline has moved on to cute dog videos, now, because she shared a couple of videos of a British sports announcer giving a gripping commentary on his two dogs racing to finish their bowls of food, and then another of one guarding a toy bone from the other. Hilarious. Nothing is really happening here, and he made it entertaining anyway. Hopefully I'm doing the same because NOTHING IS REALLY HAPPENING HERE.

Other than my daily Tim Horton run, I didn't budge past the back yard this week. Over at Timmies every server now wears a mask and gloves and the coffees now come on a cardboard box top or in one of their recyclable trays. No hand serving. I also noticed a sign for do-it-yourself donut decorating boxes (for kids I suspect) of six donuts for $5.99. Way to keep kids occupied Tim.

I did notice a couple of "happenings" in our neighborhood, though, on my Tim's run. First of all, the church on the corner one block over has been having line-ups outside. It seems that since it's closed, and it has a ministry to the many area sex trade workers and homeless people, it offers lunches and groceries through the kitchen window three days a week. They do 500 sandwiches and 300 bags of groceries each week, and 100 cups of coffee and 100 soups each day. Hats off to Westview Centre4Women at 124 Queenston St. That was not a joke about the sex trade workers--this is a serious ministry.

Just about across the street from Westview Fellowship, the local Community Garden has been shut down since it's not an essential service, so there's no one there getting the ground ready. (Yes, I know May 24 weekend is the traditional planting date in Southern Ontario.) The 70 Niagara Community Gardens banded together this week to plead with Doug Ford to let them open with distancing guidelines and wash-up stations. 600 families count on these gardens in Niagara. I understand they're doing seedlings in anticipation of Covid rules relaxing.

On Pauline's side of the home she's watching a lot more You Tube videos and reading news from various world websites. Me, I read The Globe, the National Post and watch The National. I just don't get this You Tube, Facebook, conspiracy theory world. A side effect of these videos, though, are the great great great new recipe meals she's preparing based on those videos. We had French Onion soup to die for. And tonight it was a three-hit wonder, smothered chicken and gravy, roasted scalloped potatoes and cheesy stuffed biscuits. We don't order in at all--one pick-up Wendy's in the last six weeks.

Pauline did have a couple of new shopping experiences. She needed a new desk lamp bulb; yes a vital need. She ordered and paid online with Canadian Tire, they emailed the order was ready, and she drove to the store, parked in the letter E of the spray-painted parking lot and phoned to say what letter she was in. Out came the clerk with her tiny bag. Others had shopping carts full of merchandise being loaded so I guess do-it-yourselfers are finally getting long-postponed projects accomplished. Efficient and smart, I'd say, Canadian Tire.

At the grocery store, there are still long line-ups, still no flour and little baking supplies, the aisles are one way and now you can't use your own shopping bags. Each week a little stricter as we all adapt.

Speaking of line-ups, I remember queuing forever in England in 1952-53 when there was still rationing. I think one line was for orange juice, one for eggs, and I'm not sure, maybe one for cod liver oil. Maggie next door remembers taking two bus rides to get the weekly roast from the black market. Pauline remembers the large "Quarantine" sign tacked to the front door when her brother Harry contracted polio in the 50's. We've come full circle in our lives.

Since Air Miles expire after a year if you don't take another trip and we're not taking one, I cashed mine for $100 at Chapters and spent most of it already, and Pauline took $100 for Amazon. And in another sign of new world disorder Amazon told her it was concentrating on important shipments and her order should arrive in a month from now. Wow!

Remember I said it was important I paid off that $152 I owed on 2019 income tax? Yep, in these tough financial times the Ontario government withheld my monthly $48.50 Trillium benefit because I owed them money! Even though I paid long before the April 30 deadline. Rotten bastards.

On the other hand, the Feds ordered banks to ease up on bank card interest rates, so I contacted TD and I applied online for a kick-back of 50% of the interest each month for three months. They'll let me know in 30 days "due to the high volume of requests". I'll let you know how it ends up.

Oh. The never-ending bus sign saga. Once again I'm wrong, wrong, wrong. I was annoyed at the very large "Essential Travel Only" sign thinking it was rude and who would willingly take a St. Catharines bus (besides students) if they didn't need to. Well it seems lots of people. To protect the drivers, passengers enter from the rear and a big yellow chain separates the driver a long way from the passengers. And since revenues are down 90% anyway, no-one checks for bus passes or tickets. This became known. Enter the "non destination passenger" and the "riders exploring new areas of St. Catharines". I finally cracked the euphemism code. The homeless are riding around and around. What a gig! Warm soothing ride, a different vista each day. The bus seats are blocked now so each bus can only take ten passengers. The first eleventh passenger is told a new bus has been ordered from the depot to come for them. Thus the sign. I get it now.

One last item and I'll let you go. I started this blog April 1 after two weeks of isolation to record my life for future reference as a writer and thought it might entertain a few friends. An organization that previously compiled first hand accounts of war veterans and newcomers to Canada is collecting first person records of life during Covid-19--a living archive they call it. Brock University is collecting them for Niagara Region and has been in touch with me. Shirley from B.C. responded instantly to my first mail-out saying I should forward it to the Globe because of its immediacy--this is how it is in St. Catharines right now. I thought it over and decided the writing wasn't good enough for a national paper, but this, I think I'll go with it if they decide to use it. They want writing without the filter of hindsight. Since none of us knows how this will end, I think this qualifies.

Stay safe. I'm sure nothing interesting will happen next week either, but I'll be here reporting it anyway.

With tongue still firmly in cheek, your diarist of the plague year, I remain,

Bill


Bill Hogan
Wed 2020-04-01 5:18 PM

Living in a Dangerous Time

I got out today, having been cooped up for two weeks due to social isolation, and my, how the local world has changed.

Timmies now has drive-through only, with a gloved and masked person serving cheerfully. The Avondale (newspaper) has added distancing markers on the floor, plastic shields at the counter and shorter hours.

Dollarama (snacks you know--essential in a time of stay-at-home crisis) seemed to be running low on Viva Puffs, but Smartfood and creme eggs were still plentiful. No I didn't hoard up. I didn't mind bagging stuff myself. The cashier threw a hissy-fit about cash.

The Beer Store, now, was a different story. Cash ONLY, and you can't return empties anymore. (What will the beer bottle gleaners do?) The cash-out was weird, too--it reminded me of the Israeli check-point crossing into the West Bank. Yellow tape 9 feet away from the cashiers. Put your money in a cardboard box (and ID if needed) and step away while it was retrieved and change given. But thank heaven, they are still open. (I know, I know, in Doug Ford's Ontario the beer store will always be open.)

On the way to Virgil to pick up flowers at rock-bottom prices so the wholesale growers don't have to compost them all, I passed Private Eyes. Closed. I guess it's pretty hard to give lap dances during social distancing. Has anyone considered those poor girls, eh?

At the wholesale florist you don't get out of the car. You roll down your window, place your order with someone 15 feet away, the flowers are put in your trunk, and you leave exact change only. Now this reminded me of being in the English countryside during hoof and mouth disease, whatever it was called.

Since regular sources of flowers, for me the Farmers' Market or The Watering Can, were closed, I thought I'd get flowers for friends, too. But Fonthill has flowers! Not allowed to open, two places had self-serve options in vacant lots. One of them a customer of mine long ago in the barn system, copied my idea exactly! He used a red tool box with a slit in the top to leave cash in (with a bicycle chain, though). But he also added a 21st century idea. If you didn't have exact change you could transfer money by phone to his online account. Cool.

There were some masks on the streets, but not a lot. There was much less traffic. The school zone flashing lights went off at 3:15 even though there's no school and won't be for weeks. The police were still stopping speeders. Gas is down to 78 cents but there's no where to go.

The Book Depot was closed but put 10,000 books on line and offered free delivery in March.

Nigh's got Health Dept. permission to take phone and online orders and deliver out the door to your car. All their Easter chocolate was made before the lockdown.

That's the outside world in St. Catharines, in Canada, on this first day of April, 2020. This was written just to record one exact moment in time so I'll be able to recall the wonder of our world ten years from now when I start to write The Great Canadian Novel I've been forever threatening people with. By the way, when in quarantine from the plague, Shakespeare wrote Macbeth and King Lear! This will have to do for now.

In lockdown again,

Bill

 
On Sunday, April 5, 2020, Bill Hogan <billhoganantiques@hotmail.com> wrote:

Living in a Dangerous Time Take 2

Three weeks in on this self-isolation business and there's been some little changes. I'm kind of sporting a Hemingway-like look since there's no barbers open, and I think Pauline's sporting a less restrictive undergarment look since she doesn't go out and no-one visits. (Yes, I'm 76, but I'm not dead, you know. I sometimes notice things like that.)

This has been the week of Zoom. Last week I'd never even heard of it; this week it's Zoom Zoom everywhere. Lindsay has Global Fund meetings daily on Zoom; her nine year old daughter, Maddie, Zooms friends in the evenings. Australian Michelle (well, almost, her and Brad's citizenship has been postponed to August now) Zooms colleagues for work and Ian the Fireman's 16-year-old daughter Zooms with friends till 2 a.m. (Mamas, don't let your daughters grow up to be night owls!)

Even Pauline got in on it suddenly with a new Women's Bible Study Zoom-in or whatever the technical term might be. I'm never up at 10 a.m. so I didn't witness it personally, but P. said it was quite funny. Various people on mute, others frozen, then missing, children popping up, dogs interested, random husbands floating past, washroom breaks needed. But in the end a great community get-together. And technology passes me by again.

The weather has warmed up a bit, so I've been cleaning up the garden from our winter storms and got the fountain up and running. And I wonder if we'll still have our annual summer garden party.

P. has decided to make us masks since this week the information seemed to have changed and it's recommended now in some circles. She did her first grocery store run with one on, and I got a picture of her returning with it still on, carrying groceries and toilet paper. Really, we needed it. The toilet paper, I mean, not the mask. (Oops, too much detail, maybe.) She might put the picture up on Facebook, I'm not sure.

Speaking of P., I know she signed up for richer, for poorer, but did she really sign up for living on a desert island with someone 24 hours a day? I think not. (I'm not sure she thinks I'm quite as funny as I think I am.)

Interestingly, a couple of her friends, commenting on last week's blog, mentioned how loving I was to venture out to get flowers last week FOR HER. Oh. Yeah. For HER for sure. Yeah. Okay.

Although I didn't venture out this week, I noticed that in this working-class neighborhood all the cars are in their driveways all the time. So strange and so quiet.

Maggie next door reported huge line-ups--with distancing--outside the marijuana shop near Lakeshore Meats where she shops.Ian the Fireman is only one quarter as busy as usual at work. His wife, Fiona, in management in the Niagara Health system, put in 50 extra hours last week. Chris, a Toronto court room clerk, is fretting seriously at the lack of social distancing in the court system--people whispering in his ear, standing close to discuss matters.

I want to give a shout-out to some businesses and people. My local Rexall pharmacy waived my fee for a prescription because by law now they can only give me one month's supply of pills, not three, making me liable for three fees for the same number of pills. Thanks also to The Hilton which makes up a free once a week meal for all 1,000 employees to pick up in a drive-thru system with the owners and management doing the handout. As well as Fiona, others are in the health care business, too. Laurie from church is a nurse and Rick and Becky's daughter Kaity works in a hospital. Stay safe, my friends.

When I sent out last week's missive, I sent it to about a dozen people. The response was so overwhelming, I then also sent it out to about another dozen who had appreciated my Adventures in Newfoundland blog. The response was again stunning. Long letters from many. Encouragement from lots to keep writing, maybe start my theoretical novel now.

I hadn't expected that. After I hit send last week, I actually expected a number to write, "Stay at home, shithead!" because I talked of going out for snacks, flowers, etc. I guess those who thought it, didn't write it. (I didn't venture out this week, so don't start on me now.) I even took one terse reply, "Rave on, Bill." as positive, figuring it was synonymous with "Rock on, Bill" not "Rant on" or "Ramble on."

My thoughts now are that those that don't want to read these scribblings can just hit delete, so I'm sending this out to all my 35 or so contacts. I expect that for many, equally isolated, after a kind of exhilaration from the first week or two, there's a worrying or a sadness creeping in, and if my writing may bring a smile or two, it's been worthwhile. And if writing back might bring a release or two, Rave On, readers. I look forward to your replies and YOUR stories of lockdown, week three.

Bill

 
Bill Hogan
Fri 2020-04-10 12:51 AM

Signs of Our Times – Week Four in Isolation

Let the record show that in the fourth week of the Covid -19 lockdown in St. Catharines the various governments have shut down all construction sites, barred in-store customers at hardware stores (but you can line up outside and place an order) closed off all city parks and blockaded the cemeteries. Let the record also show that Pauline has run out of cat video sites and moved onto kitten videos.

As this noose of closings tightens and tightens, it's inevitable the loss of civil liberties comes into play. There are problems, but nothing has really fussed me so far except the cemetery rule. It's cruel. Sure, no funeral gatherings, but a couple visiting a grave site getting run off? It's just coincidence, but our son Edward's birth date is April 20 and we usually visited his grave and gave the plot a good spring clean-up, adding new flowers. I guess not, this year. Twenty-three years ago, now, more years than he lived.

As well as civil liberties being hijacked, I'm just a touch bothered by a couple of things. The busses now have signs on them, "Essential Travel Only" as if anyone in this city would voluntarily get on a bus if they didn't need to. Stop with this rude signage!. I also feel sorry for the many regular customers of my local Tim Horton's who don't own cars and are not allowed to walk up to the drive-thru window. This is a poor area with low quality apartment blocks so there's lots without cars. Whatever.

There's been some great comments online on this stay-at-home stuff. Pauline was cracked up by Sharon's take on it. She says this situation is turning us into dogs; we're constantly roaming around looking for food, watching for any motion outside the front window, being told no if we get too close to strangers and getting really excited about a car ride. Rollo suggests that if you have a glass of wine in each hand you can't touch your face. My sister Karen said that today she ventured into that great forgotten place--OUTSIDE!

Oh, I've been corrected on a few items. Private Eyes was closed some time ago before the Coronavirus came, I just hadn't noticed. Maddie is ten not nine, as she strongly let me know; it was two months ago, Grandpa. Lindsay does not use Zoom, but a more sophisticated more secure cousin for her work at The Global Fund. She was just trying to dumb it down for me. And two people laughed at "The Hemingway" and suggested something like Old Order Amish would be closer.

And if I'm doing mea culpas I might add I stole that line about "the cheap price of gas and nowhere to go" from Martha and I ran with a riff from Brad on Michelle's early morning Zoom conference calls without footnoting that either. I've felt guilty for a week.

Well the first two weeks of isolation I sorted through 5,000 photos, throwing 4,000 out, and putting the rest into albums. Want to know what this family was doing in the summer of '69? There's an album for that. Now Pauline says I have to go through and identify everyone. Eeeeuw! Really? Maybe next year.

Last week I went through boxes of memorabilia, filing things properly. I'll share some of the interesting items in later ramblings, but one item tickled me. I was once editor of Canada's oldest weekly (Permit # 1), the Lindsay Watchman-Warder. Then, after marriage, I worked as the political/municipal reporter for the Etobicoke weekly. Since my regular copy ran a week after events, I also became a "stringer" for The Toronto Telegram, a Toronto daily, if there was an important Etobicoke story. I've got all these pay stubs and I just love the wages--"Four stories, June 1970, $28." (I did make page 2 once, for $25, though.) Mama don't let your sons grow up to be news guys.

It wasn't the wages that got me out of a career in newspapers, however. Council wanted to put an incinerator in Etobicoke and every NIMBY kook fought it. (My favorite quote was "Put it in the Mayor's back yard!"). I wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote The Great Etobicoke Incinerator Story 48 times. I still have nightmares about it. End of THAT career.

I've included with this blog, I guess you'd call it, some pictures of the signs from around my block--Timmies, the local hardware store, the Avondale, Confederation Park (where the rabbits are, kids) and the nearby bus stop. Yes, signs of our times.

Before I close, I'd like to mention how this plague has really sharpened our priorities. Forget the Trump impeachment, forget Trudeau's political fumbles, forget the terrible new Tim Horton's lids. We all now concentrate on the really important things, like keeping safe and keeping loved ones safer. As the Premier of Nova Scotia said, "Stay the blazes home".

Have a happy Easter.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-18 4:55 AM

More of Bill and Pauline’s Excellent Adventures

Well, we've both had some excitement this week--I went to the bank and P. was visited by Easter Bunnies. This is what constitutes excitement in week 5 of THE LOCKDOWN.

Now I know some are shaking their heads about my needing to go to a physical bank in this day of ATM's and online bill paying, but this was a special case. You see, I owed the government money on 2019 income tax and they requested payment by April 30 and I wanted to really make sure they got it. Even though my accountant said to ignore this, I'm hoping somewhere in the future to qualify for CERB or some other government largesse and don't want it held up because I owe them money.

So, on to the bank. Well, I hadn't been forever, and since I use a bank with great hours, 8a.m to 8 p.m. five days a week and also open Saturdays and Sundays, I arrived at 8a.m. (still a night owl, up a little later than usual) to find the bank had reverted to what we used to call banker's hours--10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Oh.

Back at 10 a.m., not quite so chipper now. Long line outside in 1 degree weather, people spaced somewhat, but not really six feet apart. Now I'm feeling a little surly. But I had my homemade mask (yea, Pauline) and good gloves, so no problem. When I got to the front of the line (still outside) I met my young Walmart greeter, dressed in a TD ball cap and TD jacket and a very cheery, chipper attitude. "So, how are you feeling today?" she goes.

Now I'm no fool. This isn't Maggie and I talking over the backyard fence where the response might have included the state of the arthritis (Maggie) or the insomnia (me), this was the all-powerful border agent controlling the entry gate, smile be damned.

My attitude did a 360 degree turnabout. "Great, just great, just waiting for Spring to come."

"Have you been travelling?"

"No, no. Just cocooning at home."

"Why did you need to come to the bank today?"

I knew I'd be in trouble if I said to pay a couple of bills because I'd probably get a lesson on how to pay online, so smart as anything I said I needed some toonies for my business (well, for buying Timmies, anyway, but that's MY business.) I thought I was homefree.

Then, just inside the bank I met border guard number two. No more cheery attitude from the flinty-eyed schoolmarm confronting me. "Clean your hands!" she barked. Off came the gloves. I mean my gloves. And I meekly washed my hands with a solution in the dispenser that made my hands feeling like they were being washed in lye. My hands are very chapped and at home I use special unscented hand soap specially prepared for me at a local shop. Grimacing in pain, I put my gloves back on for round two.

"Do you have your mobile phone?" She was stunned when I said I didn't have one. "Well, starting tomorrow, you have to download our app (eyes glazing over) and stay in your car until we text you for your appointment!" It seems they haven't quite worked out what happens to Luddites like me, but I guess starting the next day I would have to stand outside by myself until someone came to get me, maybe. Or maybe not. It looks like my going to the bank days are over.

I was well-served by the teller who managed to not touch anything, using a pencil to push things around and a stamp to show my bills paid. Oh, I got my toonies of course.

Pauline's excitement was much more positive. The Easter Bunnies (two of them cleverly disguised as Rick, P.'s brother, and Becky of Nigh's Sweet Shop) came to her the day before Easter with a care package of chocolate. We always go out to get Easter chocolate for us, for neighbours, for my co-workers at The Hilton, but this year talked it over and decided to "Just Stay Home" like good little lambs. Nigh's were taking telephone orders and delivering to people's cars throughout the Easter season. Rick said they sold about a third of what they usually would.

Pauline said they talked, her in the doorway, the Nighs on the sidewalk, for a good while, and it was so exhilarating, she said. Our first visitors in weeks! I was so sad I missed it, the visit being at the crack of noon, long before I get up. Becky said she missed her grandchildren so; she felt like driving all the way to Peterborough just to wave at them through the window.

Speaking of grandkids, this was the week that the long-term reality of this epidemic sank in. The kids were due to come over from Switzerland for the summer June 27. But how will that work, now? The government rules state that everyone from a foreign country must quarantine for two weeks. If there is no written plan, the government itself will quarantine the visitors in hotels. Can they come stay with us? Will there be summer camp for them at Camp Kahquah? And will there be anything to do, yet, or will we still be in lockdown?

Similarly, I guess I have to face the reality that The Hilton is unlikely to need valet drivers this summer. All 65 in the valet department have been laid off, and until about 500 of their 1050 rooms have been rented, patrons can self-park. Hilton International policy calls for valet service to be offered, but these are extraordinary times and rules may be out the window.

A couple of other observations. Correctly so, someone chided me about my bus comment last week. I realize bus drivers have died of Covid. But no bus in St. Catharines ever has more than five people on it, it seems, unless it's Brock students and Brock is shut down. As well, riders enter from the rear doors. Still it was insensitive and I apologize.

Something else. Lindsay reports that last week, with wonderful 20 degree weather, the usually law-abiding Swiss started to rebel. Whole families went grocery shopping, people gathered in the parks. Now Switzerland started its self-isolation a week before us, but their infected and dead almost exactly mirror Canada's, at this point. So if the law-abiding Swiss revolt, what's going to happen here? Maybe we've been lucky it's so cold (snow three times this week, minus six degrees one night) so it's easier to stay in and be cosy. I guess watch out for a blowback if it ever hits 20 degrees here before things are relaxed.

Other quick notes. The Beer Store is now accepting empties (in limited quantities per person!) at one location locally since they were running out of bottles. Oh, and that demand for cash only? That was just because someone hacked their system so their machines were down for up to three weeks.

Filled up with gas for the first time in 5 weeks. At 77cents.

Our backyard flowers will wait for nothing. We've had some snowdrops, countless crocuses, billions of bluebells, dozens of daffodils, and now the forsythia is starting to....bloom. (Sorry, ran out of alliteration.) Maggie's tulip tree, correct name unknown, that gorgeous showy thing, is in bud. Picture next week.

Peace to all, stay safe, keep your spirits up. More excitement next week, too.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-25 9:17 AM

Journal of the Plague Year Week 6

Apologies to Danny Defoe (real name Daniel Foe) for ripping off his book title on the 1665 Black Death plague, but it's so appropriate. Speaking of Defoe, I suggested to Pauline that maybe instead of Hemingway, at week six I now resembled Robinson Crusoe, but she rolled her eyes, so no selfie of my current wild-man look.

I think Pauline has moved on to cute dog videos, now, because she shared a couple of videos of a British sports announcer giving a gripping commentary on his two dogs racing to finish their bowls of food, and then another of one guarding a toy bone from the other. Hilarious. Nothing is really happening here, and he made it entertaining anyway. Hopefully I'm doing the same because NOTHING IS REALLY HAPPENING HERE.

Other than my daily Tim Horton run, I didn't budge past the back yard this week. Over at Timmies every server now wears a mask and gloves and the coffees now come on a cardboard box top or in one of their recyclable trays. No hand serving. I also noticed a sign for do-it-yourself donut decorating boxes (for kids I suspect) of six donuts for $5.99. Way to keep kids occupied Tim.

I did notice a couple of "happenings" in our neighborhood, though, on my Tim's run. First of all, the church on the corner one block over has been having line-ups outside. It seems that since it's closed, and it has a ministry to the many area sex trade workers and homeless people, it offers lunches and groceries through the kitchen window three days a week. They do 500 sandwiches and 300 bags of groceries each week, and 100 cups of coffee and 100 soups each day. Hats off to Westview Centre4Women at 124 Queenston St. That was not a joke about the sex trade workers--this is a serious ministry.

Just about across the street from Westview Fellowship, the local Community Garden has been shut down since it's not an essential service, so there's no one there getting the ground ready. (Yes, I know May 24 weekend is the traditional planting date in Southern Ontario.) The 70 Niagara Community Gardens banded together this week to plead with Doug Ford to let them open with distancing guidelines and wash-up stations. 600 families count on these gardens in Niagara. I understand they're doing seedlings in anticipation of Covid rules relaxing.

On Pauline's side of the home she's watching a lot more You Tube videos and reading news from various world websites. Me, I read The Globe, the National Post and watch The National. I just don't get this You Tube, Facebook, conspiracy theory world. A side effect of these videos, though, are the great great great new recipe meals she's preparing based on those videos. We had French Onion soup to die for. And tonight it was a three-hit wonder, smothered chicken and gravy, roasted scalloped potatoes and cheesy stuffed biscuits. We don't order in at all--one pick-up Wendy's in the last six weeks.

Pauline did have a couple of new shopping experiences. She needed a new desk lamp bulb; yes a vital need. She ordered and paid online with Canadian Tire, they emailed the order was ready, and she drove to the store, parked in the letter E of the spray-painted parking lot and phoned to say what letter she was in. Out came the clerk with her tiny bag. Others had shopping carts full of merchandise being loaded so I guess do-it-yourselfers are finally getting long-postponed projects accomplished. Efficient and smart, I'd say, Canadian Tire.

At the grocery store, there are still long line-ups, still no flour and little baking supplies, the aisles are one way and now you can't use your own shopping bags. Each week a little stricter as we all adapt.

Speaking of line-ups, I remember queuing forever in England in 1952-53 when there was still rationing. I think one line was for orange juice, one for eggs, and I'm not sure, maybe one for cod liver oil. Maggie next door remembers taking two bus rides to get the weekly roast from the black market. Pauline remembers the large "Quarantine" sign tacked to the front door when her brother Harry contracted polio in the 50's. We've come full circle in our lives.

Since Air Miles expire after a year if you don't take another trip and we're not taking one, I cashed mine for $100 at Chapters and spent most of it already, and Pauline took $100 for Amazon. And in another sign of new world disorder Amazon told her it was concentrating on important shipments and her order should arrive in a month from now. Wow!

Remember I said it was important I paid off that $152 I owed on 2019 income tax? Yep, in these tough financial times the Ontario government withheld my monthly $48.50 Trillium benefit because I owed them money! Even though I paid long before the April 30 deadline. Rotten bastards.

On the other hand, the Feds ordered banks to ease up on bank card interest rates, so I contacted TD and I applied online for a kick-back of 50% of the interest each month for three months. They'll let me know in 30 days "due to the high volume of requests". I'll let you know how it ends up.

Oh. The never-ending bus sign saga. Once again I'm wrong, wrong, wrong. I was annoyed at the very large "Essential Travel Only" sign thinking it was rude and who would willingly take a St. Catharines bus (besides students) if they didn't need to. Well it seems lots of people. To protect the drivers, passengers enter from the rear and a big yellow chain separates the driver a long way from the passengers. And since revenues are down 90% anyway, no-one checks for bus passes or tickets. This became known. Enter the "non destination passenger" and the "riders exploring new areas of St. Catharines". I finally cracked the euphemism code. The homeless are riding around and around. What a gig! Warm soothing ride, a different vista each day. The bus seats are blocked now so each bus can only take ten passengers. The first eleventh passenger is told a new bus has been ordered from the depot to come for them. Thus the sign. I get it now.

One last item and I'll let you go. I started this blog April 1 after two weeks of isolation to record my life for future reference as a writer and thought it might entertain a few friends. An organization that previously compiled first hand accounts of war veterans and newcomers to Canada is collecting first person records of life during Covid-19--a living archive they call it. Brock University is collecting them for Niagara Region and has been in touch with me. Shirley from B.C. responded instantly to my first mail-out saying I should forward it to the Globe because of its immediacy--this is how it is in St. Catharines right now. I thought it over and decided the writing wasn't good enough for a national paper, but this, I think I'll go with it if they decide to use it. They want writing without the filter of hindsight. Since none of us knows how this will end, I think this qualifies.

Stay safe. I'm sure nothing interesting will happen next week either, but I'll be here reporting it anyway.

With tongue still firmly in cheek, your diarist of the plague year, I remain,

Bill


Bill Hogan
Wed 2020-04-01 5:18 PM

Living in a Dangerous Time

I got out today, having been cooped up for two weeks due to social isolation, and my, how the local world has changed.

Timmies now has drive-through only, with a gloved and masked person serving cheerfully. The Avondale (newspaper) has added distancing markers on the floor, plastic shields at the counter and shorter hours.

Dollarama (snacks you know--essential in a time of stay-at-home crisis) seemed to be running low on Viva Puffs, but Smartfood and creme eggs were still plentiful. No I didn't hoard up. I didn't mind bagging stuff myself. The cashier threw a hissy-fit about cash.

The Beer Store, now, was a different story. Cash ONLY, and you can't return empties anymore. (What will the beer bottle gleaners do?) The cash-out was weird, too--it reminded me of the Israeli check-point crossing into the West Bank. Yellow tape 9 feet away from the cashiers. Put your money in a cardboard box (and ID if needed) and step away while it was retrieved and change given. But thank heaven, they are still open. (I know, I know, in Doug Ford's Ontario the beer store will always be open.)

On the way to Virgil to pick up flowers at rock-bottom prices so the wholesale growers don't have to compost them all, I passed Private Eyes. Closed. I guess it's pretty hard to give lap dances during social distancing. Has anyone considered those poor girls, eh?

At the wholesale florist you don't get out of the car. You roll down your window, place your order with someone 15 feet away, the flowers are put in your trunk, and you leave exact change only. Now this reminded me of being in the English countryside during hoof and mouth disease, whatever it was called.

Since regular sources of flowers, for me the Farmers' Market or The Watering Can, were closed, I thought I'd get flowers for friends, too. But Fonthill has flowers! Not allowed to open, two places had self-serve options in vacant lots. One of them a customer of mine long ago in the barn system, copied my idea exactly! He used a red tool box with a slit in the top to leave cash in (with a bicycle chain, though). But he also added a 21st century idea. If you didn't have exact change you could transfer money by phone to his online account. Cool.

There were some masks on the streets, but not a lot. There was much less traffic. The school zone flashing lights went off at 3:15 even though there's no school and won't be for weeks. The police were still stopping speeders. Gas is down to 78 cents but there's no where to go.

The Book Depot was closed but put 10,000 books on line and offered free delivery in March.

Nigh's got Health Dept. permission to take phone and online orders and deliver out the door to your car. All their Easter chocolate was made before the lockdown.

That's the outside world in St. Catharines, in Canada, on this first day of April, 2020. This was written just to record one exact moment in time so I'll be able to recall the wonder of our world ten years from now when I start to write The Great Canadian Novel I've been forever threatening people with. By the way, when in quarantine from the plague, Shakespeare wrote Macbeth and King Lear! This will have to do for now.

In lockdown again,

Bill

 
On Sunday, April 5, 2020, Bill Hogan <billhoganantiques@hotmail.com> wrote:

Living in a Dangerous Time Take 2

Three weeks in on this self-isolation business and there's been some little changes. I'm kind of sporting a Hemingway-like look since there's no barbers open, and I think Pauline's sporting a less restrictive undergarment look since she doesn't go out and no-one visits. (Yes, I'm 76, but I'm not dead, you know. I sometimes notice things like that.)

This has been the week of Zoom. Last week I'd never even heard of it; this week it's Zoom Zoom everywhere. Lindsay has Global Fund meetings daily on Zoom; her nine year old daughter, Maddie, Zooms friends in the evenings. Australian Michelle (well, almost, her and Brad's citizenship has been postponed to August now) Zooms colleagues for work and Ian the Fireman's 16-year-old daughter Zooms with friends till 2 a.m. (Mamas, don't let your daughters grow up to be night owls!)

Even Pauline got in on it suddenly with a new Women's Bible Study Zoom-in or whatever the technical term might be. I'm never up at 10 a.m. so I didn't witness it personally, but P. said it was quite funny. Various people on mute, others frozen, then missing, children popping up, dogs interested, random husbands floating past, washroom breaks needed. But in the end a great community get-together. And technology passes me by again.

The weather has warmed up a bit, so I've been cleaning up the garden from our winter storms and got the fountain up and running. And I wonder if we'll still have our annual summer garden party.

P. has decided to make us masks since this week the information seemed to have changed and it's recommended now in some circles. She did her first grocery store run with one on, and I got a picture of her returning with it still on, carrying groceries and toilet paper. Really, we needed it. The toilet paper, I mean, not the mask. (Oops, too much detail, maybe.) She might put the picture up on Facebook, I'm not sure.

Speaking of P., I know she signed up for richer, for poorer, but did she really sign up for living on a desert island with someone 24 hours a day? I think not. (I'm not sure she thinks I'm quite as funny as I think I am.)

Interestingly, a couple of her friends, commenting on last week's blog, mentioned how loving I was to venture out to get flowers last week FOR HER. Oh. Yeah. For HER for sure. Yeah. Okay.

Although I didn't venture out this week, I noticed that in this working-class neighborhood all the cars are in their driveways all the time. So strange and so quiet.

Maggie next door reported huge line-ups--with distancing--outside the marijuana shop near Lakeshore Meats where she shops.Ian the Fireman is only one quarter as busy as usual at work. His wife, Fiona, in management in the Niagara Health system, put in 50 extra hours last week. Chris, a Toronto court room clerk, is fretting seriously at the lack of social distancing in the court system--people whispering in his ear, standing close to discuss matters.

I want to give a shout-out to some businesses and people. My local Rexall pharmacy waived my fee for a prescription because by law now they can only give me one month's supply of pills, not three, making me liable for three fees for the same number of pills. Thanks also to The Hilton which makes up a free once a week meal for all 1,000 employees to pick up in a drive-thru system with the owners and management doing the handout. As well as Fiona, others are in the health care business, too. Laurie from church is a nurse and Rick and Becky's daughter Kaity works in a hospital. Stay safe, my friends.

When I sent out last week's missive, I sent it to about a dozen people. The response was so overwhelming, I then also sent it out to about another dozen who had appreciated my Adventures in Newfoundland blog. The response was again stunning. Long letters from many. Encouragement from lots to keep writing, maybe start my theoretical novel now.

I hadn't expected that. After I hit send last week, I actually expected a number to write, "Stay at home, shithead!" because I talked of going out for snacks, flowers, etc. I guess those who thought it, didn't write it. (I didn't venture out this week, so don't start on me now.) I even took one terse reply, "Rave on, Bill." as positive, figuring it was synonymous with "Rock on, Bill" not "Rant on" or "Ramble on."

My thoughts now are that those that don't want to read these scribblings can just hit delete, so I'm sending this out to all my 35 or so contacts. I expect that for many, equally isolated, after a kind of exhilaration from the first week or two, there's a worrying or a sadness creeping in, and if my writing may bring a smile or two, it's been worthwhile. And if writing back might bring a release or two, Rave On, readers. I look forward to your replies and YOUR stories of lockdown, week three.

Bill

 
Bill Hogan
Fri 2020-04-10 12:51 AM

Signs of Our Times – Week Four in Isolation

Let the record show that in the fourth week of the Covid -19 lockdown in St. Catharines the various governments have shut down all construction sites, barred in-store customers at hardware stores (but you can line up outside and place an order) closed off all city parks and blockaded the cemeteries. Let the record also show that Pauline has run out of cat video sites and moved onto kitten videos.

As this noose of closings tightens and tightens, it's inevitable the loss of civil liberties comes into play. There are problems, but nothing has really fussed me so far except the cemetery rule. It's cruel. Sure, no funeral gatherings, but a couple visiting a grave site getting run off? It's just coincidence, but our son Edward's birth date is April 20 and we usually visited his grave and gave the plot a good spring clean-up, adding new flowers. I guess not, this year. Twenty-three years ago, now, more years than he lived.

As well as civil liberties being hijacked, I'm just a touch bothered by a couple of things. The busses now have signs on them, "Essential Travel Only" as if anyone in this city would voluntarily get on a bus if they didn't need to. Stop with this rude signage!. I also feel sorry for the many regular customers of my local Tim Horton's who don't own cars and are not allowed to walk up to the drive-thru window. This is a poor area with low quality apartment blocks so there's lots without cars. Whatever.

There's been some great comments online on this stay-at-home stuff. Pauline was cracked up by Sharon's take on it. She says this situation is turning us into dogs; we're constantly roaming around looking for food, watching for any motion outside the front window, being told no if we get too close to strangers and getting really excited about a car ride. Rollo suggests that if you have a glass of wine in each hand you can't touch your face. My sister Karen said that today she ventured into that great forgotten place--OUTSIDE!

Oh, I've been corrected on a few items. Private Eyes was closed some time ago before the Coronavirus came, I just hadn't noticed. Maddie is ten not nine, as she strongly let me know; it was two months ago, Grandpa. Lindsay does not use Zoom, but a more sophisticated more secure cousin for her work at The Global Fund. She was just trying to dumb it down for me. And two people laughed at "The Hemingway" and suggested something like Old Order Amish would be closer.

And if I'm doing mea culpas I might add I stole that line about "the cheap price of gas and nowhere to go" from Martha and I ran with a riff from Brad on Michelle's early morning Zoom conference calls without footnoting that either. I've felt guilty for a week.

Well the first two weeks of isolation I sorted through 5,000 photos, throwing 4,000 out, and putting the rest into albums. Want to know what this family was doing in the summer of '69? There's an album for that. Now Pauline says I have to go through and identify everyone. Eeeeuw! Really? Maybe next year.

Last week I went through boxes of memorabilia, filing things properly. I'll share some of the interesting items in later ramblings, but one item tickled me. I was once editor of Canada's oldest weekly (Permit # 1), the Lindsay Watchman-Warder. Then, after marriage, I worked as the political/municipal reporter for the Etobicoke weekly. Since my regular copy ran a week after events, I also became a "stringer" for The Toronto Telegram, a Toronto daily, if there was an important Etobicoke story. I've got all these pay stubs and I just love the wages--"Four stories, June 1970, $28." (I did make page 2 once, for $25, though.) Mama don't let your sons grow up to be news guys.

It wasn't the wages that got me out of a career in newspapers, however. Council wanted to put an incinerator in Etobicoke and every NIMBY kook fought it. (My favorite quote was "Put it in the Mayor's back yard!"). I wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote The Great Etobicoke Incinerator Story 48 times. I still have nightmares about it. End of THAT career.

I've included with this blog, I guess you'd call it, some pictures of the signs from around my block--Timmies, the local hardware store, the Avondale, Confederation Park (where the rabbits are, kids) and the nearby bus stop. Yes, signs of our times.

Before I close, I'd like to mention how this plague has really sharpened our priorities. Forget the Trump impeachment, forget Trudeau's political fumbles, forget the terrible new Tim Horton's lids. We all now concentrate on the really important things, like keeping safe and keeping loved ones safer. As the Premier of Nova Scotia said, "Stay the blazes home".

Have a happy Easter.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-18 4:55 AM

More of Bill and Pauline’s Excellent Adventures

Well, we've both had some excitement this week--I went to the bank and P. was visited by Easter Bunnies. This is what constitutes excitement in week 5 of THE LOCKDOWN.

Now I know some are shaking their heads about my needing to go to a physical bank in this day of ATM's and online bill paying, but this was a special case. You see, I owed the government money on 2019 income tax and they requested payment by April 30 and I wanted to really make sure they got it. Even though my accountant said to ignore this, I'm hoping somewhere in the future to qualify for CERB or some other government largesse and don't want it held up because I owe them money.

So, on to the bank. Well, I hadn't been forever, and since I use a bank with great hours, 8a.m to 8 p.m. five days a week and also open Saturdays and Sundays, I arrived at 8a.m. (still a night owl, up a little later than usual) to find the bank had reverted to what we used to call banker's hours--10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Oh.

Back at 10 a.m., not quite so chipper now. Long line outside in 1 degree weather, people spaced somewhat, but not really six feet apart. Now I'm feeling a little surly. But I had my homemade mask (yea, Pauline) and good gloves, so no problem. When I got to the front of the line (still outside) I met my young Walmart greeter, dressed in a TD ball cap and TD jacket and a very cheery, chipper attitude. "So, how are you feeling today?" she goes.

Now I'm no fool. This isn't Maggie and I talking over the backyard fence where the response might have included the state of the arthritis (Maggie) or the insomnia (me), this was the all-powerful border agent controlling the entry gate, smile be damned.

My attitude did a 360 degree turnabout. "Great, just great, just waiting for Spring to come."

"Have you been travelling?"

"No, no. Just cocooning at home."

"Why did you need to come to the bank today?"

I knew I'd be in trouble if I said to pay a couple of bills because I'd probably get a lesson on how to pay online, so smart as anything I said I needed some toonies for my business (well, for buying Timmies, anyway, but that's MY business.) I thought I was homefree.

Then, just inside the bank I met border guard number two. No more cheery attitude from the flinty-eyed schoolmarm confronting me. "Clean your hands!" she barked. Off came the gloves. I mean my gloves. And I meekly washed my hands with a solution in the dispenser that made my hands feeling like they were being washed in lye. My hands are very chapped and at home I use special unscented hand soap specially prepared for me at a local shop. Grimacing in pain, I put my gloves back on for round two.

"Do you have your mobile phone?" She was stunned when I said I didn't have one. "Well, starting tomorrow, you have to download our app (eyes glazing over) and stay in your car until we text you for your appointment!" It seems they haven't quite worked out what happens to Luddites like me, but I guess starting the next day I would have to stand outside by myself until someone came to get me, maybe. Or maybe not. It looks like my going to the bank days are over.

I was well-served by the teller who managed to not touch anything, using a pencil to push things around and a stamp to show my bills paid. Oh, I got my toonies of course.

Pauline's excitement was much more positive. The Easter Bunnies (two of them cleverly disguised as Rick, P.'s brother, and Becky of Nigh's Sweet Shop) came to her the day before Easter with a care package of chocolate. We always go out to get Easter chocolate for us, for neighbours, for my co-workers at The Hilton, but this year talked it over and decided to "Just Stay Home" like good little lambs. Nigh's were taking telephone orders and delivering to people's cars throughout the Easter season. Rick said they sold about a third of what they usually would.

Pauline said they talked, her in the doorway, the Nighs on the sidewalk, for a good while, and it was so exhilarating, she said. Our first visitors in weeks! I was so sad I missed it, the visit being at the crack of noon, long before I get up. Becky said she missed her grandchildren so; she felt like driving all the way to Peterborough just to wave at them through the window.

Speaking of grandkids, this was the week that the long-term reality of this epidemic sank in. The kids were due to come over from Switzerland for the summer June 27. But how will that work, now? The government rules state that everyone from a foreign country must quarantine for two weeks. If there is no written plan, the government itself will quarantine the visitors in hotels. Can they come stay with us? Will there be summer camp for them at Camp Kahquah? And will there be anything to do, yet, or will we still be in lockdown?

Similarly, I guess I have to face the reality that The Hilton is unlikely to need valet drivers this summer. All 65 in the valet department have been laid off, and until about 500 of their 1050 rooms have been rented, patrons can self-park. Hilton International policy calls for valet service to be offered, but these are extraordinary times and rules may be out the window.

A couple of other observations. Correctly so, someone chided me about my bus comment last week. I realize bus drivers have died of Covid. But no bus in St. Catharines ever has more than five people on it, it seems, unless it's Brock students and Brock is shut down. As well, riders enter from the rear doors. Still it was insensitive and I apologize.

Something else. Lindsay reports that last week, with wonderful 20 degree weather, the usually law-abiding Swiss started to rebel. Whole families went grocery shopping, people gathered in the parks. Now Switzerland started its self-isolation a week before us, but their infected and dead almost exactly mirror Canada's, at this point. So if the law-abiding Swiss revolt, what's going to happen here? Maybe we've been lucky it's so cold (snow three times this week, minus six degrees one night) so it's easier to stay in and be cosy. I guess watch out for a blowback if it ever hits 20 degrees here before things are relaxed.

Other quick notes. The Beer Store is now accepting empties (in limited quantities per person!) at one location locally since they were running out of bottles. Oh, and that demand for cash only? That was just because someone hacked their system so their machines were down for up to three weeks.

Filled up with gas for the first time in 5 weeks. At 77cents.

Our backyard flowers will wait for nothing. We've had some snowdrops, countless crocuses, billions of bluebells, dozens of daffodils, and now the forsythia is starting to....bloom. (Sorry, ran out of alliteration.) Maggie's tulip tree, correct name unknown, that gorgeous showy thing, is in bud. Picture next week.

Peace to all, stay safe, keep your spirits up. More excitement next week, too.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-25 9:17 AM

Journal of the Plague Year Week 6

Apologies to Danny Defoe (real name Daniel Foe) for ripping off his book title on the 1665 Black Death plague, but it's so appropriate. Speaking of Defoe, I suggested to Pauline that maybe instead of Hemingway, at week six I now resembled Robinson Crusoe, but she rolled her eyes, so no selfie of my current wild-man look.

I think Pauline has moved on to cute dog videos, now, because she shared a couple of videos of a British sports announcer giving a gripping commentary on his two dogs racing to finish their bowls of food, and then another of one guarding a toy bone from the other. Hilarious. Nothing is really happening here, and he made it entertaining anyway. Hopefully I'm doing the same because NOTHING IS REALLY HAPPENING HERE.

Other than my daily Tim Horton run, I didn't budge past the back yard this week. Over at Timmies every server now wears a mask and gloves and the coffees now come on a cardboard box top or in one of their recyclable trays. No hand serving. I also noticed a sign for do-it-yourself donut decorating boxes (for kids I suspect) of six donuts for $5.99. Way to keep kids occupied Tim.

I did notice a couple of "happenings" in our neighborhood, though, on my Tim's run. First of all, the church on the corner one block over has been having line-ups outside. It seems that since it's closed, and it has a ministry to the many area sex trade workers and homeless people, it offers lunches and groceries through the kitchen window three days a week. They do 500 sandwiches and 300 bags of groceries each week, and 100 cups of coffee and 100 soups each day. Hats off to Westview Centre4Women at 124 Queenston St. That was not a joke about the sex trade workers--this is a serious ministry.

Just about across the street from Westview Fellowship, the local Community Garden has been shut down since it's not an essential service, so there's no one there getting the ground ready. (Yes, I know May 24 weekend is the traditional planting date in Southern Ontario.) The 70 Niagara Community Gardens banded together this week to plead with Doug Ford to let them open with distancing guidelines and wash-up stations. 600 families count on these gardens in Niagara. I understand they're doing seedlings in anticipation of Covid rules relaxing.

On Pauline's side of the home she's watching a lot more You Tube videos and reading news from various world websites. Me, I read The Globe, the National Post and watch The National. I just don't get this You Tube, Facebook, conspiracy theory world. A side effect of these videos, though, are the great great great new recipe meals she's preparing based on those videos. We had French Onion soup to die for. And tonight it was a three-hit wonder, smothered chicken and gravy, roasted scalloped potatoes and cheesy stuffed biscuits. We don't order in at all--one pick-up Wendy's in the last six weeks.

Pauline did have a couple of new shopping experiences. She needed a new desk lamp bulb; yes a vital need. She ordered and paid online with Canadian Tire, they emailed the order was ready, and she drove to the store, parked in the letter E of the spray-painted parking lot and phoned to say what letter she was in. Out came the clerk with her tiny bag. Others had shopping carts full of merchandise being loaded so I guess do-it-yourselfers are finally getting long-postponed projects accomplished. Efficient and smart, I'd say, Canadian Tire.

At the grocery store, there are still long line-ups, still no flour and little baking supplies, the aisles are one way and now you can't use your own shopping bags. Each week a little stricter as we all adapt.

Speaking of line-ups, I remember queuing forever in England in 1952-53 when there was still rationing. I think one line was for orange juice, one for eggs, and I'm not sure, maybe one for cod liver oil. Maggie next door remembers taking two bus rides to get the weekly roast from the black market. Pauline remembers the large "Quarantine" sign tacked to the front door when her brother Harry contracted polio in the 50's. We've come full circle in our lives.

Since Air Miles expire after a year if you don't take another trip and we're not taking one, I cashed mine for $100 at Chapters and spent most of it already, and Pauline took $100 for Amazon. And in another sign of new world disorder Amazon told her it was concentrating on important shipments and her order should arrive in a month from now. Wow!

Remember I said it was important I paid off that $152 I owed on 2019 income tax? Yep, in these tough financial times the Ontario government withheld my monthly $48.50 Trillium benefit because I owed them money! Even though I paid long before the April 30 deadline. Rotten bastards.

On the other hand, the Feds ordered banks to ease up on bank card interest rates, so I contacted TD and I applied online for a kick-back of 50% of the interest each month for three months. They'll let me know in 30 days "due to the high volume of requests". I'll let you know how it ends up.

Oh. The never-ending bus sign saga. Once again I'm wrong, wrong, wrong. I was annoyed at the very large "Essential Travel Only" sign thinking it was rude and who would willingly take a St. Catharines bus (besides students) if they didn't need to. Well it seems lots of people. To protect the drivers, passengers enter from the rear and a big yellow chain separates the driver a long way from the passengers. And since revenues are down 90% anyway, no-one checks for bus passes or tickets. This became known. Enter the "non destination passenger" and the "riders exploring new areas of St. Catharines". I finally cracked the euphemism code. The homeless are riding around and around. What a gig! Warm soothing ride, a different vista each day. The bus seats are blocked now so each bus can only take ten passengers. The first eleventh passenger is told a new bus has been ordered from the depot to come for them. Thus the sign. I get it now.

One last item and I'll let you go. I started this blog April 1 after two weeks of isolation to record my life for future reference as a writer and thought it might entertain a few friends. An organization that previously compiled first hand accounts of war veterans and newcomers to Canada is collecting first person records of life during Covid-19--a living archive they call it. Brock University is collecting them for Niagara Region and has been in touch with me. Shirley from B.C. responded instantly to my first mail-out saying I should forward it to the Globe because of its immediacy--this is how it is in St. Catharines right now. I thought it over and decided the writing wasn't good enough for a national paper, but this, I think I'll go with it if they decide to use it. They want writing without the filter of hindsight. Since none of us knows how this will end, I think this qualifies.

Stay safe. I'm sure nothing interesting will happen next week either, but I'll be here reporting it anyway.

With tongue still firmly in cheek, your diarist of the plague year, I remain,

Bill


Bill Hogan
Wed 2020-04-01 5:18 PM

Living in a Dangerous Time

I got out today, having been cooped up for two weeks due to social isolation, and my, how the local world has changed.

Timmies now has drive-through only, with a gloved and masked person serving cheerfully. The Avondale (newspaper) has added distancing markers on the floor, plastic shields at the counter and shorter hours.

Dollarama (snacks you know--essential in a time of stay-at-home crisis) seemed to be running low on Viva Puffs, but Smartfood and creme eggs were still plentiful. No I didn't hoard up. I didn't mind bagging stuff myself. The cashier threw a hissy-fit about cash.

The Beer Store, now, was a different story. Cash ONLY, and you can't return empties anymore. (What will the beer bottle gleaners do?) The cash-out was weird, too--it reminded me of the Israeli check-point crossing into the West Bank. Yellow tape 9 feet away from the cashiers. Put your money in a cardboard box (and ID if needed) and step away while it was retrieved and change given. But thank heaven, they are still open. (I know, I know, in Doug Ford's Ontario the beer store will always be open.)

On the way to Virgil to pick up flowers at rock-bottom prices so the wholesale growers don't have to compost them all, I passed Private Eyes. Closed. I guess it's pretty hard to give lap dances during social distancing. Has anyone considered those poor girls, eh?

At the wholesale florist you don't get out of the car. You roll down your window, place your order with someone 15 feet away, the flowers are put in your trunk, and you leave exact change only. Now this reminded me of being in the English countryside during hoof and mouth disease, whatever it was called.

Since regular sources of flowers, for me the Farmers' Market or The Watering Can, were closed, I thought I'd get flowers for friends, too. But Fonthill has flowers! Not allowed to open, two places had self-serve options in vacant lots. One of them a customer of mine long ago in the barn system, copied my idea exactly! He used a red tool box with a slit in the top to leave cash in (with a bicycle chain, though). But he also added a 21st century idea. If you didn't have exact change you could transfer money by phone to his online account. Cool.

There were some masks on the streets, but not a lot. There was much less traffic. The school zone flashing lights went off at 3:15 even though there's no school and won't be for weeks. The police were still stopping speeders. Gas is down to 78 cents but there's no where to go.

The Book Depot was closed but put 10,000 books on line and offered free delivery in March.

Nigh's got Health Dept. permission to take phone and online orders and deliver out the door to your car. All their Easter chocolate was made before the lockdown.

That's the outside world in St. Catharines, in Canada, on this first day of April, 2020. This was written just to record one exact moment in time so I'll be able to recall the wonder of our world ten years from now when I start to write The Great Canadian Novel I've been forever threatening people with. By the way, when in quarantine from the plague, Shakespeare wrote Macbeth and King Lear! This will have to do for now.

In lockdown again,

Bill

 
On Sunday, April 5, 2020, Bill Hogan <billhoganantiques@hotmail.com> wrote:

Living in a Dangerous Time Take 2

Three weeks in on this self-isolation business and there's been some little changes. I'm kind of sporting a Hemingway-like look since there's no barbers open, and I think Pauline's sporting a less restrictive undergarment look since she doesn't go out and no-one visits. (Yes, I'm 76, but I'm not dead, you know. I sometimes notice things like that.)

This has been the week of Zoom. Last week I'd never even heard of it; this week it's Zoom Zoom everywhere. Lindsay has Global Fund meetings daily on Zoom; her nine year old daughter, Maddie, Zooms friends in the evenings. Australian Michelle (well, almost, her and Brad's citizenship has been postponed to August now) Zooms colleagues for work and Ian the Fireman's 16-year-old daughter Zooms with friends till 2 a.m. (Mamas, don't let your daughters grow up to be night owls!)

Even Pauline got in on it suddenly with a new Women's Bible Study Zoom-in or whatever the technical term might be. I'm never up at 10 a.m. so I didn't witness it personally, but P. said it was quite funny. Various people on mute, others frozen, then missing, children popping up, dogs interested, random husbands floating past, washroom breaks needed. But in the end a great community get-together. And technology passes me by again.

The weather has warmed up a bit, so I've been cleaning up the garden from our winter storms and got the fountain up and running. And I wonder if we'll still have our annual summer garden party.

P. has decided to make us masks since this week the information seemed to have changed and it's recommended now in some circles. She did her first grocery store run with one on, and I got a picture of her returning with it still on, carrying groceries and toilet paper. Really, we needed it. The toilet paper, I mean, not the mask. (Oops, too much detail, maybe.) She might put the picture up on Facebook, I'm not sure.

Speaking of P., I know she signed up for richer, for poorer, but did she really sign up for living on a desert island with someone 24 hours a day? I think not. (I'm not sure she thinks I'm quite as funny as I think I am.)

Interestingly, a couple of her friends, commenting on last week's blog, mentioned how loving I was to venture out to get flowers last week FOR HER. Oh. Yeah. For HER for sure. Yeah. Okay.

Although I didn't venture out this week, I noticed that in this working-class neighborhood all the cars are in their driveways all the time. So strange and so quiet.

Maggie next door reported huge line-ups--with distancing--outside the marijuana shop near Lakeshore Meats where she shops.Ian the Fireman is only one quarter as busy as usual at work. His wife, Fiona, in management in the Niagara Health system, put in 50 extra hours last week. Chris, a Toronto court room clerk, is fretting seriously at the lack of social distancing in the court system--people whispering in his ear, standing close to discuss matters.

I want to give a shout-out to some businesses and people. My local Rexall pharmacy waived my fee for a prescription because by law now they can only give me one month's supply of pills, not three, making me liable for three fees for the same number of pills. Thanks also to The Hilton which makes up a free once a week meal for all 1,000 employees to pick up in a drive-thru system with the owners and management doing the handout. As well as Fiona, others are in the health care business, too. Laurie from church is a nurse and Rick and Becky's daughter Kaity works in a hospital. Stay safe, my friends.

When I sent out last week's missive, I sent it to about a dozen people. The response was so overwhelming, I then also sent it out to about another dozen who had appreciated my Adventures in Newfoundland blog. The response was again stunning. Long letters from many. Encouragement from lots to keep writing, maybe start my theoretical novel now.

I hadn't expected that. After I hit send last week, I actually expected a number to write, "Stay at home, shithead!" because I talked of going out for snacks, flowers, etc. I guess those who thought it, didn't write it. (I didn't venture out this week, so don't start on me now.) I even took one terse reply, "Rave on, Bill." as positive, figuring it was synonymous with "Rock on, Bill" not "Rant on" or "Ramble on."

My thoughts now are that those that don't want to read these scribblings can just hit delete, so I'm sending this out to all my 35 or so contacts. I expect that for many, equally isolated, after a kind of exhilaration from the first week or two, there's a worrying or a sadness creeping in, and if my writing may bring a smile or two, it's been worthwhile. And if writing back might bring a release or two, Rave On, readers. I look forward to your replies and YOUR stories of lockdown, week three.

Bill

 
Bill Hogan
Fri 2020-04-10 12:51 AM

Signs of Our Times – Week Four in Isolation

Let the record show that in the fourth week of the Covid -19 lockdown in St. Catharines the various governments have shut down all construction sites, barred in-store customers at hardware stores (but you can line up outside and place an order) closed off all city parks and blockaded the cemeteries. Let the record also show that Pauline has run out of cat video sites and moved onto kitten videos.

As this noose of closings tightens and tightens, it's inevitable the loss of civil liberties comes into play. There are problems, but nothing has really fussed me so far except the cemetery rule. It's cruel. Sure, no funeral gatherings, but a couple visiting a grave site getting run off? It's just coincidence, but our son Edward's birth date is April 20 and we usually visited his grave and gave the plot a good spring clean-up, adding new flowers. I guess not, this year. Twenty-three years ago, now, more years than he lived.

As well as civil liberties being hijacked, I'm just a touch bothered by a couple of things. The busses now have signs on them, "Essential Travel Only" as if anyone in this city would voluntarily get on a bus if they didn't need to. Stop with this rude signage!. I also feel sorry for the many regular customers of my local Tim Horton's who don't own cars and are not allowed to walk up to the drive-thru window. This is a poor area with low quality apartment blocks so there's lots without cars. Whatever.

There's been some great comments online on this stay-at-home stuff. Pauline was cracked up by Sharon's take on it. She says this situation is turning us into dogs; we're constantly roaming around looking for food, watching for any motion outside the front window, being told no if we get too close to strangers and getting really excited about a car ride. Rollo suggests that if you have a glass of wine in each hand you can't touch your face. My sister Karen said that today she ventured into that great forgotten place--OUTSIDE!

Oh, I've been corrected on a few items. Private Eyes was closed some time ago before the Coronavirus came, I just hadn't noticed. Maddie is ten not nine, as she strongly let me know; it was two months ago, Grandpa. Lindsay does not use Zoom, but a more sophisticated more secure cousin for her work at The Global Fund. She was just trying to dumb it down for me. And two people laughed at "The Hemingway" and suggested something like Old Order Amish would be closer.

And if I'm doing mea culpas I might add I stole that line about "the cheap price of gas and nowhere to go" from Martha and I ran with a riff from Brad on Michelle's early morning Zoom conference calls without footnoting that either. I've felt guilty for a week.

Well the first two weeks of isolation I sorted through 5,000 photos, throwing 4,000 out, and putting the rest into albums. Want to know what this family was doing in the summer of '69? There's an album for that. Now Pauline says I have to go through and identify everyone. Eeeeuw! Really? Maybe next year.

Last week I went through boxes of memorabilia, filing things properly. I'll share some of the interesting items in later ramblings, but one item tickled me. I was once editor of Canada's oldest weekly (Permit # 1), the Lindsay Watchman-Warder. Then, after marriage, I worked as the political/municipal reporter for the Etobicoke weekly. Since my regular copy ran a week after events, I also became a "stringer" for The Toronto Telegram, a Toronto daily, if there was an important Etobicoke story. I've got all these pay stubs and I just love the wages--"Four stories, June 1970, $28." (I did make page 2 once, for $25, though.) Mama don't let your sons grow up to be news guys.

It wasn't the wages that got me out of a career in newspapers, however. Council wanted to put an incinerator in Etobicoke and every NIMBY kook fought it. (My favorite quote was "Put it in the Mayor's back yard!"). I wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote The Great Etobicoke Incinerator Story 48 times. I still have nightmares about it. End of THAT career.

I've included with this blog, I guess you'd call it, some pictures of the signs from around my block--Timmies, the local hardware store, the Avondale, Confederation Park (where the rabbits are, kids) and the nearby bus stop. Yes, signs of our times.

Before I close, I'd like to mention how this plague has really sharpened our priorities. Forget the Trump impeachment, forget Trudeau's political fumbles, forget the terrible new Tim Horton's lids. We all now concentrate on the really important things, like keeping safe and keeping loved ones safer. As the Premier of Nova Scotia said, "Stay the blazes home".

Have a happy Easter.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-18 4:55 AM

More of Bill and Pauline’s Excellent Adventures

Well, we've both had some excitement this week--I went to the bank and P. was visited by Easter Bunnies. This is what constitutes excitement in week 5 of THE LOCKDOWN.

Now I know some are shaking their heads about my needing to go to a physical bank in this day of ATM's and online bill paying, but this was a special case. You see, I owed the government money on 2019 income tax and they requested payment by April 30 and I wanted to really make sure they got it. Even though my accountant said to ignore this, I'm hoping somewhere in the future to qualify for CERB or some other government largesse and don't want it held up because I owe them money.

So, on to the bank. Well, I hadn't been forever, and since I use a bank with great hours, 8a.m to 8 p.m. five days a week and also open Saturdays and Sundays, I arrived at 8a.m. (still a night owl, up a little later than usual) to find the bank had reverted to what we used to call banker's hours--10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Oh.

Back at 10 a.m., not quite so chipper now. Long line outside in 1 degree weather, people spaced somewhat, but not really six feet apart. Now I'm feeling a little surly. But I had my homemade mask (yea, Pauline) and good gloves, so no problem. When I got to the front of the line (still outside) I met my young Walmart greeter, dressed in a TD ball cap and TD jacket and a very cheery, chipper attitude. "So, how are you feeling today?" she goes.

Now I'm no fool. This isn't Maggie and I talking over the backyard fence where the response might have included the state of the arthritis (Maggie) or the insomnia (me), this was the all-powerful border agent controlling the entry gate, smile be damned.

My attitude did a 360 degree turnabout. "Great, just great, just waiting for Spring to come."

"Have you been travelling?"

"No, no. Just cocooning at home."

"Why did you need to come to the bank today?"

I knew I'd be in trouble if I said to pay a couple of bills because I'd probably get a lesson on how to pay online, so smart as anything I said I needed some toonies for my business (well, for buying Timmies, anyway, but that's MY business.) I thought I was homefree.

Then, just inside the bank I met border guard number two. No more cheery attitude from the flinty-eyed schoolmarm confronting me. "Clean your hands!" she barked. Off came the gloves. I mean my gloves. And I meekly washed my hands with a solution in the dispenser that made my hands feeling like they were being washed in lye. My hands are very chapped and at home I use special unscented hand soap specially prepared for me at a local shop. Grimacing in pain, I put my gloves back on for round two.

"Do you have your mobile phone?" She was stunned when I said I didn't have one. "Well, starting tomorrow, you have to download our app (eyes glazing over) and stay in your car until we text you for your appointment!" It seems they haven't quite worked out what happens to Luddites like me, but I guess starting the next day I would have to stand outside by myself until someone came to get me, maybe. Or maybe not. It looks like my going to the bank days are over.

I was well-served by the teller who managed to not touch anything, using a pencil to push things around and a stamp to show my bills paid. Oh, I got my toonies of course.

Pauline's excitement was much more positive. The Easter Bunnies (two of them cleverly disguised as Rick, P.'s brother, and Becky of Nigh's Sweet Shop) came to her the day before Easter with a care package of chocolate. We always go out to get Easter chocolate for us, for neighbours, for my co-workers at The Hilton, but this year talked it over and decided to "Just Stay Home" like good little lambs. Nigh's were taking telephone orders and delivering to people's cars throughout the Easter season. Rick said they sold about a third of what they usually would.

Pauline said they talked, her in the doorway, the Nighs on the sidewalk, for a good while, and it was so exhilarating, she said. Our first visitors in weeks! I was so sad I missed it, the visit being at the crack of noon, long before I get up. Becky said she missed her grandchildren so; she felt like driving all the way to Peterborough just to wave at them through the window.

Speaking of grandkids, this was the week that the long-term reality of this epidemic sank in. The kids were due to come over from Switzerland for the summer June 27. But how will that work, now? The government rules state that everyone from a foreign country must quarantine for two weeks. If there is no written plan, the government itself will quarantine the visitors in hotels. Can they come stay with us? Will there be summer camp for them at Camp Kahquah? And will there be anything to do, yet, or will we still be in lockdown?

Similarly, I guess I have to face the reality that The Hilton is unlikely to need valet drivers this summer. All 65 in the valet department have been laid off, and until about 500 of their 1050 rooms have been rented, patrons can self-park. Hilton International policy calls for valet service to be offered, but these are extraordinary times and rules may be out the window.

A couple of other observations. Correctly so, someone chided me about my bus comment last week. I realize bus drivers have died of Covid. But no bus in St. Catharines ever has more than five people on it, it seems, unless it's Brock students and Brock is shut down. As well, riders enter from the rear doors. Still it was insensitive and I apologize.

Something else. Lindsay reports that last week, with wonderful 20 degree weather, the usually law-abiding Swiss started to rebel. Whole families went grocery shopping, people gathered in the parks. Now Switzerland started its self-isolation a week before us, but their infected and dead almost exactly mirror Canada's, at this point. So if the law-abiding Swiss revolt, what's going to happen here? Maybe we've been lucky it's so cold (snow three times this week, minus six degrees one night) so it's easier to stay in and be cosy. I guess watch out for a blowback if it ever hits 20 degrees here before things are relaxed.

Other quick notes. The Beer Store is now accepting empties (in limited quantities per person!) at one location locally since they were running out of bottles. Oh, and that demand for cash only? That was just because someone hacked their system so their machines were down for up to three weeks.

Filled up with gas for the first time in 5 weeks. At 77cents.

Our backyard flowers will wait for nothing. We've had some snowdrops, countless crocuses, billions of bluebells, dozens of daffodils, and now the forsythia is starting to....bloom. (Sorry, ran out of alliteration.) Maggie's tulip tree, correct name unknown, that gorgeous showy thing, is in bud. Picture next week.

Peace to all, stay safe, keep your spirits up. More excitement next week, too.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-25 9:17 AM

Journal of the Plague Year Week 6

Apologies to Danny Defoe (real name Daniel Foe) for ripping off his book title on the 1665 Black Death plague, but it's so appropriate. Speaking of Defoe, I suggested to Pauline that maybe instead of Hemingway, at week six I now resembled Robinson Crusoe, but she rolled her eyes, so no selfie of my current wild-man look.

I think Pauline has moved on to cute dog videos, now, because she shared a couple of videos of a British sports announcer giving a gripping commentary on his two dogs racing to finish their bowls of food, and then another of one guarding a toy bone from the other. Hilarious. Nothing is really happening here, and he made it entertaining anyway. Hopefully I'm doing the same because NOTHING IS REALLY HAPPENING HERE.

Other than my daily Tim Horton run, I didn't budge past the back yard this week. Over at Timmies every server now wears a mask and gloves and the coffees now come on a cardboard box top or in one of their recyclable trays. No hand serving. I also noticed a sign for do-it-yourself donut decorating boxes (for kids I suspect) of six donuts for $5.99. Way to keep kids occupied Tim.

I did notice a couple of "happenings" in our neighborhood, though, on my Tim's run. First of all, the church on the corner one block over has been having line-ups outside. It seems that since it's closed, and it has a ministry to the many area sex trade workers and homeless people, it offers lunches and groceries through the kitchen window three days a week. They do 500 sandwiches and 300 bags of groceries each week, and 100 cups of coffee and 100 soups each day. Hats off to Westview Centre4Women at 124 Queenston St. That was not a joke about the sex trade workers--this is a serious ministry.

Just about across the street from Westview Fellowship, the local Community Garden has been shut down since it's not an essential service, so there's no one there getting the ground ready. (Yes, I know May 24 weekend is the traditional planting date in Southern Ontario.) The 70 Niagara Community Gardens banded together this week to plead with Doug Ford to let them open with distancing guidelines and wash-up stations. 600 families count on these gardens in Niagara. I understand they're doing seedlings in anticipation of Covid rules relaxing.

On Pauline's side of the home she's watching a lot more You Tube videos and reading news from various world websites. Me, I read The Globe, the National Post and watch The National. I just don't get this You Tube, Facebook, conspiracy theory world. A side effect of these videos, though, are the great great great new recipe meals she's preparing based on those videos. We had French Onion soup to die for. And tonight it was a three-hit wonder, smothered chicken and gravy, roasted scalloped potatoes and cheesy stuffed biscuits. We don't order in at all--one pick-up Wendy's in the last six weeks.

Pauline did have a couple of new shopping experiences. She needed a new desk lamp bulb; yes a vital need. She ordered and paid online with Canadian Tire, they emailed the order was ready, and she drove to the store, parked in the letter E of the spray-painted parking lot and phoned to say what letter she was in. Out came the clerk with her tiny bag. Others had shopping carts full of merchandise being loaded so I guess do-it-yourselfers are finally getting long-postponed projects accomplished. Efficient and smart, I'd say, Canadian Tire.

At the grocery store, there are still long line-ups, still no flour and little baking supplies, the aisles are one way and now you can't use your own shopping bags. Each week a little stricter as we all adapt.

Speaking of line-ups, I remember queuing forever in England in 1952-53 when there was still rationing. I think one line was for orange juice, one for eggs, and I'm not sure, maybe one for cod liver oil. Maggie next door remembers taking two bus rides to get the weekly roast from the black market. Pauline remembers the large "Quarantine" sign tacked to the front door when her brother Harry contracted polio in the 50's. We've come full circle in our lives.

Since Air Miles expire after a year if you don't take another trip and we're not taking one, I cashed mine for $100 at Chapters and spent most of it already, and Pauline took $100 for Amazon. And in another sign of new world disorder Amazon told her it was concentrating on important shipments and her order should arrive in a month from now. Wow!

Remember I said it was important I paid off that $152 I owed on 2019 income tax? Yep, in these tough financial times the Ontario government withheld my monthly $48.50 Trillium benefit because I owed them money! Even though I paid long before the April 30 deadline. Rotten bastards.

On the other hand, the Feds ordered banks to ease up on bank card interest rates, so I contacted TD and I applied online for a kick-back of 50% of the interest each month for three months. They'll let me know in 30 days "due to the high volume of requests". I'll let you know how it ends up.

Oh. The never-ending bus sign saga. Once again I'm wrong, wrong, wrong. I was annoyed at the very large "Essential Travel Only" sign thinking it was rude and who would willingly take a St. Catharines bus (besides students) if they didn't need to. Well it seems lots of people. To protect the drivers, passengers enter from the rear and a big yellow chain separates the driver a long way from the passengers. And since revenues are down 90% anyway, no-one checks for bus passes or tickets. This became known. Enter the "non destination passenger" and the "riders exploring new areas of St. Catharines". I finally cracked the euphemism code. The homeless are riding around and around. What a gig! Warm soothing ride, a different vista each day. The bus seats are blocked now so each bus can only take ten passengers. The first eleventh passenger is told a new bus has been ordered from the depot to come for them. Thus the sign. I get it now.

One last item and I'll let you go. I started this blog April 1 after two weeks of isolation to record my life for future reference as a writer and thought it might entertain a few friends. An organization that previously compiled first hand accounts of war veterans and newcomers to Canada is collecting first person records of life during Covid-19--a living archive they call it. Brock University is collecting them for Niagara Region and has been in touch with me. Shirley from B.C. responded instantly to my first mail-out saying I should forward it to the Globe because of its immediacy--this is how it is in St. Catharines right now. I thought it over and decided the writing wasn't good enough for a national paper, but this, I think I'll go with it if they decide to use it. They want writing without the filter of hindsight. Since none of us knows how this will end, I think this qualifies.

Stay safe. I'm sure nothing interesting will happen next week either, but I'll be here reporting it anyway.

With tongue still firmly in cheek, your diarist of the plague year, I remain,

Bill


Bill Hogan
Wed 2020-04-01 5:18 PM

Living in a Dangerous Time

I got out today, having been cooped up for two weeks due to social isolation, and my, how the local world has changed.

Timmies now has drive-through only, with a gloved and masked person serving cheerfully. The Avondale (newspaper) has added distancing markers on the floor, plastic shields at the counter and shorter hours.

Dollarama (snacks you know--essential in a time of stay-at-home crisis) seemed to be running low on Viva Puffs, but Smartfood and creme eggs were still plentiful. No I didn't hoard up. I didn't mind bagging stuff myself. The cashier threw a hissy-fit about cash.

The Beer Store, now, was a different story. Cash ONLY, and you can't return empties anymore. (What will the beer bottle gleaners do?) The cash-out was weird, too--it reminded me of the Israeli check-point crossing into the West Bank. Yellow tape 9 feet away from the cashiers. Put your money in a cardboard box (and ID if needed) and step away while it was retrieved and change given. But thank heaven, they are still open. (I know, I know, in Doug Ford's Ontario the beer store will always be open.)

On the way to Virgil to pick up flowers at rock-bottom prices so the wholesale growers don't have to compost them all, I passed Private Eyes. Closed. I guess it's pretty hard to give lap dances during social distancing. Has anyone considered those poor girls, eh?

At the wholesale florist you don't get out of the car. You roll down your window, place your order with someone 15 feet away, the flowers are put in your trunk, and you leave exact change only. Now this reminded me of being in the English countryside during hoof and mouth disease, whatever it was called.

Since regular sources of flowers, for me the Farmers' Market or The Watering Can, were closed, I thought I'd get flowers for friends, too. But Fonthill has flowers! Not allowed to open, two places had self-serve options in vacant lots. One of them a customer of mine long ago in the barn system, copied my idea exactly! He used a red tool box with a slit in the top to leave cash in (with a bicycle chain, though). But he also added a 21st century idea. If you didn't have exact change you could transfer money by phone to his online account. Cool.

There were some masks on the streets, but not a lot. There was much less traffic. The school zone flashing lights went off at 3:15 even though there's no school and won't be for weeks. The police were still stopping speeders. Gas is down to 78 cents but there's no where to go.

The Book Depot was closed but put 10,000 books on line and offered free delivery in March.

Nigh's got Health Dept. permission to take phone and online orders and deliver out the door to your car. All their Easter chocolate was made before the lockdown.

That's the outside world in St. Catharines, in Canada, on this first day of April, 2020. This was written just to record one exact moment in time so I'll be able to recall the wonder of our world ten years from now when I start to write The Great Canadian Novel I've been forever threatening people with. By the way, when in quarantine from the plague, Shakespeare wrote Macbeth and King Lear! This will have to do for now.

In lockdown again,

Bill

 
On Sunday, April 5, 2020, Bill Hogan <billhoganantiques@hotmail.com> wrote:

Living in a Dangerous Time Take 2

Three weeks in on this self-isolation business and there's been some little changes. I'm kind of sporting a Hemingway-like look since there's no barbers open, and I think Pauline's sporting a less restrictive undergarment look since she doesn't go out and no-one visits. (Yes, I'm 76, but I'm not dead, you know. I sometimes notice things like that.)

This has been the week of Zoom. Last week I'd never even heard of it; this week it's Zoom Zoom everywhere. Lindsay has Global Fund meetings daily on Zoom; her nine year old daughter, Maddie, Zooms friends in the evenings. Australian Michelle (well, almost, her and Brad's citizenship has been postponed to August now) Zooms colleagues for work and Ian the Fireman's 16-year-old daughter Zooms with friends till 2 a.m. (Mamas, don't let your daughters grow up to be night owls!)

Even Pauline got in on it suddenly with a new Women's Bible Study Zoom-in or whatever the technical term might be. I'm never up at 10 a.m. so I didn't witness it personally, but P. said it was quite funny. Various people on mute, others frozen, then missing, children popping up, dogs interested, random husbands floating past, washroom breaks needed. But in the end a great community get-together. And technology passes me by again.

The weather has warmed up a bit, so I've been cleaning up the garden from our winter storms and got the fountain up and running. And I wonder if we'll still have our annual summer garden party.

P. has decided to make us masks since this week the information seemed to have changed and it's recommended now in some circles. She did her first grocery store run with one on, and I got a picture of her returning with it still on, carrying groceries and toilet paper. Really, we needed it. The toilet paper, I mean, not the mask. (Oops, too much detail, maybe.) She might put the picture up on Facebook, I'm not sure.

Speaking of P., I know she signed up for richer, for poorer, but did she really sign up for living on a desert island with someone 24 hours a day? I think not. (I'm not sure she thinks I'm quite as funny as I think I am.)

Interestingly, a couple of her friends, commenting on last week's blog, mentioned how loving I was to venture out to get flowers last week FOR HER. Oh. Yeah. For HER for sure. Yeah. Okay.

Although I didn't venture out this week, I noticed that in this working-class neighborhood all the cars are in their driveways all the time. So strange and so quiet.

Maggie next door reported huge line-ups--with distancing--outside the marijuana shop near Lakeshore Meats where she shops.Ian the Fireman is only one quarter as busy as usual at work. His wife, Fiona, in management in the Niagara Health system, put in 50 extra hours last week. Chris, a Toronto court room clerk, is fretting seriously at the lack of social distancing in the court system--people whispering in his ear, standing close to discuss matters.

I want to give a shout-out to some businesses and people. My local Rexall pharmacy waived my fee for a prescription because by law now they can only give me one month's supply of pills, not three, making me liable for three fees for the same number of pills. Thanks also to The Hilton which makes up a free once a week meal for all 1,000 employees to pick up in a drive-thru system with the owners and management doing the handout. As well as Fiona, others are in the health care business, too. Laurie from church is a nurse and Rick and Becky's daughter Kaity works in a hospital. Stay safe, my friends.

When I sent out last week's missive, I sent it to about a dozen people. The response was so overwhelming, I then also sent it out to about another dozen who had appreciated my Adventures in Newfoundland blog. The response was again stunning. Long letters from many. Encouragement from lots to keep writing, maybe start my theoretical novel now.

I hadn't expected that. After I hit send last week, I actually expected a number to write, "Stay at home, shithead!" because I talked of going out for snacks, flowers, etc. I guess those who thought it, didn't write it. (I didn't venture out this week, so don't start on me now.) I even took one terse reply, "Rave on, Bill." as positive, figuring it was synonymous with "Rock on, Bill" not "Rant on" or "Ramble on."

My thoughts now are that those that don't want to read these scribblings can just hit delete, so I'm sending this out to all my 35 or so contacts. I expect that for many, equally isolated, after a kind of exhilaration from the first week or two, there's a worrying or a sadness creeping in, and if my writing may bring a smile or two, it's been worthwhile. And if writing back might bring a release or two, Rave On, readers. I look forward to your replies and YOUR stories of lockdown, week three.

Bill

 
Bill Hogan
Fri 2020-04-10 12:51 AM

Signs of Our Times – Week Four in Isolation

Let the record show that in the fourth week of the Covid -19 lockdown in St. Catharines the various governments have shut down all construction sites, barred in-store customers at hardware stores (but you can line up outside and place an order) closed off all city parks and blockaded the cemeteries. Let the record also show that Pauline has run out of cat video sites and moved onto kitten videos.

As this noose of closings tightens and tightens, it's inevitable the loss of civil liberties comes into play. There are problems, but nothing has really fussed me so far except the cemetery rule. It's cruel. Sure, no funeral gatherings, but a couple visiting a grave site getting run off? It's just coincidence, but our son Edward's birth date is April 20 and we usually visited his grave and gave the plot a good spring clean-up, adding new flowers. I guess not, this year. Twenty-three years ago, now, more years than he lived.

As well as civil liberties being hijacked, I'm just a touch bothered by a couple of things. The busses now have signs on them, "Essential Travel Only" as if anyone in this city would voluntarily get on a bus if they didn't need to. Stop with this rude signage!. I also feel sorry for the many regular customers of my local Tim Horton's who don't own cars and are not allowed to walk up to the drive-thru window. This is a poor area with low quality apartment blocks so there's lots without cars. Whatever.

There's been some great comments online on this stay-at-home stuff. Pauline was cracked up by Sharon's take on it. She says this situation is turning us into dogs; we're constantly roaming around looking for food, watching for any motion outside the front window, being told no if we get too close to strangers and getting really excited about a car ride. Rollo suggests that if you have a glass of wine in each hand you can't touch your face. My sister Karen said that today she ventured into that great forgotten place--OUTSIDE!

Oh, I've been corrected on a few items. Private Eyes was closed some time ago before the Coronavirus came, I just hadn't noticed. Maddie is ten not nine, as she strongly let me know; it was two months ago, Grandpa. Lindsay does not use Zoom, but a more sophisticated more secure cousin for her work at The Global Fund. She was just trying to dumb it down for me. And two people laughed at "The Hemingway" and suggested something like Old Order Amish would be closer.

And if I'm doing mea culpas I might add I stole that line about "the cheap price of gas and nowhere to go" from Martha and I ran with a riff from Brad on Michelle's early morning Zoom conference calls without footnoting that either. I've felt guilty for a week.

Well the first two weeks of isolation I sorted through 5,000 photos, throwing 4,000 out, and putting the rest into albums. Want to know what this family was doing in the summer of '69? There's an album for that. Now Pauline says I have to go through and identify everyone. Eeeeuw! Really? Maybe next year.

Last week I went through boxes of memorabilia, filing things properly. I'll share some of the interesting items in later ramblings, but one item tickled me. I was once editor of Canada's oldest weekly (Permit # 1), the Lindsay Watchman-Warder. Then, after marriage, I worked as the political/municipal reporter for the Etobicoke weekly. Since my regular copy ran a week after events, I also became a "stringer" for The Toronto Telegram, a Toronto daily, if there was an important Etobicoke story. I've got all these pay stubs and I just love the wages--"Four stories, June 1970, $28." (I did make page 2 once, for $25, though.) Mama don't let your sons grow up to be news guys.

It wasn't the wages that got me out of a career in newspapers, however. Council wanted to put an incinerator in Etobicoke and every NIMBY kook fought it. (My favorite quote was "Put it in the Mayor's back yard!"). I wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote The Great Etobicoke Incinerator Story 48 times. I still have nightmares about it. End of THAT career.

I've included with this blog, I guess you'd call it, some pictures of the signs from around my block--Timmies, the local hardware store, the Avondale, Confederation Park (where the rabbits are, kids) and the nearby bus stop. Yes, signs of our times.

Before I close, I'd like to mention how this plague has really sharpened our priorities. Forget the Trump impeachment, forget Trudeau's political fumbles, forget the terrible new Tim Horton's lids. We all now concentrate on the really important things, like keeping safe and keeping loved ones safer. As the Premier of Nova Scotia said, "Stay the blazes home".

Have a happy Easter.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-18 4:55 AM

More of Bill and Pauline’s Excellent Adventures

Well, we've both had some excitement this week--I went to the bank and P. was visited by Easter Bunnies. This is what constitutes excitement in week 5 of THE LOCKDOWN.

Now I know some are shaking their heads about my needing to go to a physical bank in this day of ATM's and online bill paying, but this was a special case. You see, I owed the government money on 2019 income tax and they requested payment by April 30 and I wanted to really make sure they got it. Even though my accountant said to ignore this, I'm hoping somewhere in the future to qualify for CERB or some other government largesse and don't want it held up because I owe them money.

So, on to the bank. Well, I hadn't been forever, and since I use a bank with great hours, 8a.m to 8 p.m. five days a week and also open Saturdays and Sundays, I arrived at 8a.m. (still a night owl, up a little later than usual) to find the bank had reverted to what we used to call banker's hours--10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Oh.

Back at 10 a.m., not quite so chipper now. Long line outside in 1 degree weather, people spaced somewhat, but not really six feet apart. Now I'm feeling a little surly. But I had my homemade mask (yea, Pauline) and good gloves, so no problem. When I got to the front of the line (still outside) I met my young Walmart greeter, dressed in a TD ball cap and TD jacket and a very cheery, chipper attitude. "So, how are you feeling today?" she goes.

Now I'm no fool. This isn't Maggie and I talking over the backyard fence where the response might have included the state of the arthritis (Maggie) or the insomnia (me), this was the all-powerful border agent controlling the entry gate, smile be damned.

My attitude did a 360 degree turnabout. "Great, just great, just waiting for Spring to come."

"Have you been travelling?"

"No, no. Just cocooning at home."

"Why did you need to come to the bank today?"

I knew I'd be in trouble if I said to pay a couple of bills because I'd probably get a lesson on how to pay online, so smart as anything I said I needed some toonies for my business (well, for buying Timmies, anyway, but that's MY business.) I thought I was homefree.

Then, just inside the bank I met border guard number two. No more cheery attitude from the flinty-eyed schoolmarm confronting me. "Clean your hands!" she barked. Off came the gloves. I mean my gloves. And I meekly washed my hands with a solution in the dispenser that made my hands feeling like they were being washed in lye. My hands are very chapped and at home I use special unscented hand soap specially prepared for me at a local shop. Grimacing in pain, I put my gloves back on for round two.

"Do you have your mobile phone?" She was stunned when I said I didn't have one. "Well, starting tomorrow, you have to download our app (eyes glazing over) and stay in your car until we text you for your appointment!" It seems they haven't quite worked out what happens to Luddites like me, but I guess starting the next day I would have to stand outside by myself until someone came to get me, maybe. Or maybe not. It looks like my going to the bank days are over.

I was well-served by the teller who managed to not touch anything, using a pencil to push things around and a stamp to show my bills paid. Oh, I got my toonies of course.

Pauline's excitement was much more positive. The Easter Bunnies (two of them cleverly disguised as Rick, P.'s brother, and Becky of Nigh's Sweet Shop) came to her the day before Easter with a care package of chocolate. We always go out to get Easter chocolate for us, for neighbours, for my co-workers at The Hilton, but this year talked it over and decided to "Just Stay Home" like good little lambs. Nigh's were taking telephone orders and delivering to people's cars throughout the Easter season. Rick said they sold about a third of what they usually would.

Pauline said they talked, her in the doorway, the Nighs on the sidewalk, for a good while, and it was so exhilarating, she said. Our first visitors in weeks! I was so sad I missed it, the visit being at the crack of noon, long before I get up. Becky said she missed her grandchildren so; she felt like driving all the way to Peterborough just to wave at them through the window.

Speaking of grandkids, this was the week that the long-term reality of this epidemic sank in. The kids were due to come over from Switzerland for the summer June 27. But how will that work, now? The government rules state that everyone from a foreign country must quarantine for two weeks. If there is no written plan, the government itself will quarantine the visitors in hotels. Can they come stay with us? Will there be summer camp for them at Camp Kahquah? And will there be anything to do, yet, or will we still be in lockdown?

Similarly, I guess I have to face the reality that The Hilton is unlikely to need valet drivers this summer. All 65 in the valet department have been laid off, and until about 500 of their 1050 rooms have been rented, patrons can self-park. Hilton International policy calls for valet service to be offered, but these are extraordinary times and rules may be out the window.

A couple of other observations. Correctly so, someone chided me about my bus comment last week. I realize bus drivers have died of Covid. But no bus in St. Catharines ever has more than five people on it, it seems, unless it's Brock students and Brock is shut down. As well, riders enter from the rear doors. Still it was insensitive and I apologize.

Something else. Lindsay reports that last week, with wonderful 20 degree weather, the usually law-abiding Swiss started to rebel. Whole families went grocery shopping, people gathered in the parks. Now Switzerland started its self-isolation a week before us, but their infected and dead almost exactly mirror Canada's, at this point. So if the law-abiding Swiss revolt, what's going to happen here? Maybe we've been lucky it's so cold (snow three times this week, minus six degrees one night) so it's easier to stay in and be cosy. I guess watch out for a blowback if it ever hits 20 degrees here before things are relaxed.

Other quick notes. The Beer Store is now accepting empties (in limited quantities per person!) at one location locally since they were running out of bottles. Oh, and that demand for cash only? That was just because someone hacked their system so their machines were down for up to three weeks.

Filled up with gas for the first time in 5 weeks. At 77cents.

Our backyard flowers will wait for nothing. We've had some snowdrops, countless crocuses, billions of bluebells, dozens of daffodils, and now the forsythia is starting to....bloom. (Sorry, ran out of alliteration.) Maggie's tulip tree, correct name unknown, that gorgeous showy thing, is in bud. Picture next week.

Peace to all, stay safe, keep your spirits up. More excitement next week, too.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-25 9:17 AM

Journal of the Plague Year Week 6

Apologies to Danny Defoe (real name Daniel Foe) for ripping off his book title on the 1665 Black Death plague, but it's so appropriate. Speaking of Defoe, I suggested to Pauline that maybe instead of Hemingway, at week six I now resembled Robinson Crusoe, but she rolled her eyes, so no selfie of my current wild-man look.

I think Pauline has moved on to cute dog videos, now, because she shared a couple of videos of a British sports announcer giving a gripping commentary on his two dogs racing to finish their bowls of food, and then another of one guarding a toy bone from the other. Hilarious. Nothing is really happening here, and he made it entertaining anyway. Hopefully I'm doing the same because NOTHING IS REALLY HAPPENING HERE.

Other than my daily Tim Horton run, I didn't budge past the back yard this week. Over at Timmies every server now wears a mask and gloves and the coffees now come on a cardboard box top or in one of their recyclable trays. No hand serving. I also noticed a sign for do-it-yourself donut decorating boxes (for kids I suspect) of six donuts for $5.99. Way to keep kids occupied Tim.

I did notice a couple of "happenings" in our neighborhood, though, on my Tim's run. First of all, the church on the corner one block over has been having line-ups outside. It seems that since it's closed, and it has a ministry to the many area sex trade workers and homeless people, it offers lunches and groceries through the kitchen window three days a week. They do 500 sandwiches and 300 bags of groceries each week, and 100 cups of coffee and 100 soups each day. Hats off to Westview Centre4Women at 124 Queenston St. That was not a joke about the sex trade workers--this is a serious ministry.

Just about across the street from Westview Fellowship, the local Community Garden has been shut down since it's not an essential service, so there's no one there getting the ground ready. (Yes, I know May 24 weekend is the traditional planting date in Southern Ontario.) The 70 Niagara Community Gardens banded together this week to plead with Doug Ford to let them open with distancing guidelines and wash-up stations. 600 families count on these gardens in Niagara. I understand they're doing seedlings in anticipation of Covid rules relaxing.

On Pauline's side of the home she's watching a lot more You Tube videos and reading news from various world websites. Me, I read The Globe, the National Post and watch The National. I just don't get this You Tube, Facebook, conspiracy theory world. A side effect of these videos, though, are the great great great new recipe meals she's preparing based on those videos. We had French Onion soup to die for. And tonight it was a three-hit wonder, smothered chicken and gravy, roasted scalloped potatoes and cheesy stuffed biscuits. We don't order in at all--one pick-up Wendy's in the last six weeks.

Pauline did have a couple of new shopping experiences. She needed a new desk lamp bulb; yes a vital need. She ordered and paid online with Canadian Tire, they emailed the order was ready, and she drove to the store, parked in the letter E of the spray-painted parking lot and phoned to say what letter she was in. Out came the clerk with her tiny bag. Others had shopping carts full of merchandise being loaded so I guess do-it-yourselfers are finally getting long-postponed projects accomplished. Efficient and smart, I'd say, Canadian Tire.

At the grocery store, there are still long line-ups, still no flour and little baking supplies, the aisles are one way and now you can't use your own shopping bags. Each week a little stricter as we all adapt.

Speaking of line-ups, I remember queuing forever in England in 1952-53 when there was still rationing. I think one line was for orange juice, one for eggs, and I'm not sure, maybe one for cod liver oil. Maggie next door remembers taking two bus rides to get the weekly roast from the black market. Pauline remembers the large "Quarantine" sign tacked to the front door when her brother Harry contracted polio in the 50's. We've come full circle in our lives.

Since Air Miles expire after a year if you don't take another trip and we're not taking one, I cashed mine for $100 at Chapters and spent most of it already, and Pauline took $100 for Amazon. And in another sign of new world disorder Amazon told her it was concentrating on important shipments and her order should arrive in a month from now. Wow!

Remember I said it was important I paid off that $152 I owed on 2019 income tax? Yep, in these tough financial times the Ontario government withheld my monthly $48.50 Trillium benefit because I owed them money! Even though I paid long before the April 30 deadline. Rotten bastards.

On the other hand, the Feds ordered banks to ease up on bank card interest rates, so I contacted TD and I applied online for a kick-back of 50% of the interest each month for three months. They'll let me know in 30 days "due to the high volume of requests". I'll let you know how it ends up.

Oh. The never-ending bus sign saga. Once again I'm wrong, wrong, wrong. I was annoyed at the very large "Essential Travel Only" sign thinking it was rude and who would willingly take a St. Catharines bus (besides students) if they didn't need to. Well it seems lots of people. To protect the drivers, passengers enter from the rear and a big yellow chain separates the driver a long way from the passengers. And since revenues are down 90% anyway, no-one checks for bus passes or tickets. This became known. Enter the "non destination passenger" and the "riders exploring new areas of St. Catharines". I finally cracked the euphemism code. The homeless are riding around and around. What a gig! Warm soothing ride, a different vista each day. The bus seats are blocked now so each bus can only take ten passengers. The first eleventh passenger is told a new bus has been ordered from the depot to come for them. Thus the sign. I get it now.

One last item and I'll let you go. I started this blog April 1 after two weeks of isolation to record my life for future reference as a writer and thought it might entertain a few friends. An organization that previously compiled first hand accounts of war veterans and newcomers to Canada is collecting first person records of life during Covid-19--a living archive they call it. Brock University is collecting them for Niagara Region and has been in touch with me. Shirley from B.C. responded instantly to my first mail-out saying I should forward it to the Globe because of its immediacy--this is how it is in St. Catharines right now. I thought it over and decided the writing wasn't good enough for a national paper, but this, I think I'll go with it if they decide to use it. They want writing without the filter of hindsight. Since none of us knows how this will end, I think this qualifies.

Stay safe. I'm sure nothing interesting will happen next week either, but I'll be here reporting it anyway.

With tongue still firmly in cheek, your diarist of the plague year, I remain,

Bill


Bill Hogan
Wed 2020-04-01 5:18 PM

Living in a Dangerous Time

I got out today, having been cooped up for two weeks due to social isolation, and my, how the local world has changed.

Timmies now has drive-through only, with a gloved and masked person serving cheerfully. The Avondale (newspaper) has added distancing markers on the floor, plastic shields at the counter and shorter hours.

Dollarama (snacks you know--essential in a time of stay-at-home crisis) seemed to be running low on Viva Puffs, but Smartfood and creme eggs were still plentiful. No I didn't hoard up. I didn't mind bagging stuff myself. The cashier threw a hissy-fit about cash.

The Beer Store, now, was a different story. Cash ONLY, and you can't return empties anymore. (What will the beer bottle gleaners do?) The cash-out was weird, too--it reminded me of the Israeli check-point crossing into the West Bank. Yellow tape 9 feet away from the cashiers. Put your money in a cardboard box (and ID if needed) and step away while it was retrieved and change given. But thank heaven, they are still open. (I know, I know, in Doug Ford's Ontario the beer store will always be open.)

On the way to Virgil to pick up flowers at rock-bottom prices so the wholesale growers don't have to compost them all, I passed Private Eyes. Closed. I guess it's pretty hard to give lap dances during social distancing. Has anyone considered those poor girls, eh?

At the wholesale florist you don't get out of the car. You roll down your window, place your order with someone 15 feet away, the flowers are put in your trunk, and you leave exact change only. Now this reminded me of being in the English countryside during hoof and mouth disease, whatever it was called.

Since regular sources of flowers, for me the Farmers' Market or The Watering Can, were closed, I thought I'd get flowers for friends, too. But Fonthill has flowers! Not allowed to open, two places had self-serve options in vacant lots. One of them a customer of mine long ago in the barn system, copied my idea exactly! He used a red tool box with a slit in the top to leave cash in (with a bicycle chain, though). But he also added a 21st century idea. If you didn't have exact change you could transfer money by phone to his online account. Cool.

There were some masks on the streets, but not a lot. There was much less traffic. The school zone flashing lights went off at 3:15 even though there's no school and won't be for weeks. The police were still stopping speeders. Gas is down to 78 cents but there's no where to go.

The Book Depot was closed but put 10,000 books on line and offered free delivery in March.

Nigh's got Health Dept. permission to take phone and online orders and deliver out the door to your car. All their Easter chocolate was made before the lockdown.

That's the outside world in St. Catharines, in Canada, on this first day of April, 2020. This was written just to record one exact moment in time so I'll be able to recall the wonder of our world ten years from now when I start to write The Great Canadian Novel I've been forever threatening people with. By the way, when in quarantine from the plague, Shakespeare wrote Macbeth and King Lear! This will have to do for now.

In lockdown again,

Bill

 
On Sunday, April 5, 2020, Bill Hogan <billhoganantiques@hotmail.com> wrote:

Living in a Dangerous Time Take 2

Three weeks in on this self-isolation business and there's been some little changes. I'm kind of sporting a Hemingway-like look since there's no barbers open, and I think Pauline's sporting a less restrictive undergarment look since she doesn't go out and no-one visits. (Yes, I'm 76, but I'm not dead, you know. I sometimes notice things like that.)

This has been the week of Zoom. Last week I'd never even heard of it; this week it's Zoom Zoom everywhere. Lindsay has Global Fund meetings daily on Zoom; her nine year old daughter, Maddie, Zooms friends in the evenings. Australian Michelle (well, almost, her and Brad's citizenship has been postponed to August now) Zooms colleagues for work and Ian the Fireman's 16-year-old daughter Zooms with friends till 2 a.m. (Mamas, don't let your daughters grow up to be night owls!)

Even Pauline got in on it suddenly with a new Women's Bible Study Zoom-in or whatever the technical term might be. I'm never up at 10 a.m. so I didn't witness it personally, but P. said it was quite funny. Various people on mute, others frozen, then missing, children popping up, dogs interested, random husbands floating past, washroom breaks needed. But in the end a great community get-together. And technology passes me by again.

The weather has warmed up a bit, so I've been cleaning up the garden from our winter storms and got the fountain up and running. And I wonder if we'll still have our annual summer garden party.

P. has decided to make us masks since this week the information seemed to have changed and it's recommended now in some circles. She did her first grocery store run with one on, and I got a picture of her returning with it still on, carrying groceries and toilet paper. Really, we needed it. The toilet paper, I mean, not the mask. (Oops, too much detail, maybe.) She might put the picture up on Facebook, I'm not sure.

Speaking of P., I know she signed up for richer, for poorer, but did she really sign up for living on a desert island with someone 24 hours a day? I think not. (I'm not sure she thinks I'm quite as funny as I think I am.)

Interestingly, a couple of her friends, commenting on last week's blog, mentioned how loving I was to venture out to get flowers last week FOR HER. Oh. Yeah. For HER for sure. Yeah. Okay.

Although I didn't venture out this week, I noticed that in this working-class neighborhood all the cars are in their driveways all the time. So strange and so quiet.

Maggie next door reported huge line-ups--with distancing--outside the marijuana shop near Lakeshore Meats where she shops.Ian the Fireman is only one quarter as busy as usual at work. His wife, Fiona, in management in the Niagara Health system, put in 50 extra hours last week. Chris, a Toronto court room clerk, is fretting seriously at the lack of social distancing in the court system--people whispering in his ear, standing close to discuss matters.

I want to give a shout-out to some businesses and people. My local Rexall pharmacy waived my fee for a prescription because by law now they can only give me one month's supply of pills, not three, making me liable for three fees for the same number of pills. Thanks also to The Hilton which makes up a free once a week meal for all 1,000 employees to pick up in a drive-thru system with the owners and management doing the handout. As well as Fiona, others are in the health care business, too. Laurie from church is a nurse and Rick and Becky's daughter Kaity works in a hospital. Stay safe, my friends.

When I sent out last week's missive, I sent it to about a dozen people. The response was so overwhelming, I then also sent it out to about another dozen who had appreciated my Adventures in Newfoundland blog. The response was again stunning. Long letters from many. Encouragement from lots to keep writing, maybe start my theoretical novel now.

I hadn't expected that. After I hit send last week, I actually expected a number to write, "Stay at home, shithead!" because I talked of going out for snacks, flowers, etc. I guess those who thought it, didn't write it. (I didn't venture out this week, so don't start on me now.) I even took one terse reply, "Rave on, Bill." as positive, figuring it was synonymous with "Rock on, Bill" not "Rant on" or "Ramble on."

My thoughts now are that those that don't want to read these scribblings can just hit delete, so I'm sending this out to all my 35 or so contacts. I expect that for many, equally isolated, after a kind of exhilaration from the first week or two, there's a worrying or a sadness creeping in, and if my writing may bring a smile or two, it's been worthwhile. And if writing back might bring a release or two, Rave On, readers. I look forward to your replies and YOUR stories of lockdown, week three.

Bill

 
Bill Hogan
Fri 2020-04-10 12:51 AM

Signs of Our Times – Week Four in Isolation

Let the record show that in the fourth week of the Covid -19 lockdown in St. Catharines the various governments have shut down all construction sites, barred in-store customers at hardware stores (but you can line up outside and place an order) closed off all city parks and blockaded the cemeteries. Let the record also show that Pauline has run out of cat video sites and moved onto kitten videos.

As this noose of closings tightens and tightens, it's inevitable the loss of civil liberties comes into play. There are problems, but nothing has really fussed me so far except the cemetery rule. It's cruel. Sure, no funeral gatherings, but a couple visiting a grave site getting run off? It's just coincidence, but our son Edward's birth date is April 20 and we usually visited his grave and gave the plot a good spring clean-up, adding new flowers. I guess not, this year. Twenty-three years ago, now, more years than he lived.

As well as civil liberties being hijacked, I'm just a touch bothered by a couple of things. The busses now have signs on them, "Essential Travel Only" as if anyone in this city would voluntarily get on a bus if they didn't need to. Stop with this rude signage!. I also feel sorry for the many regular customers of my local Tim Horton's who don't own cars and are not allowed to walk up to the drive-thru window. This is a poor area with low quality apartment blocks so there's lots without cars. Whatever.

There's been some great comments online on this stay-at-home stuff. Pauline was cracked up by Sharon's take on it. She says this situation is turning us into dogs; we're constantly roaming around looking for food, watching for any motion outside the front window, being told no if we get too close to strangers and getting really excited about a car ride. Rollo suggests that if you have a glass of wine in each hand you can't touch your face. My sister Karen said that today she ventured into that great forgotten place--OUTSIDE!

Oh, I've been corrected on a few items. Private Eyes was closed some time ago before the Coronavirus came, I just hadn't noticed. Maddie is ten not nine, as she strongly let me know; it was two months ago, Grandpa. Lindsay does not use Zoom, but a more sophisticated more secure cousin for her work at The Global Fund. She was just trying to dumb it down for me. And two people laughed at "The Hemingway" and suggested something like Old Order Amish would be closer.

And if I'm doing mea culpas I might add I stole that line about "the cheap price of gas and nowhere to go" from Martha and I ran with a riff from Brad on Michelle's early morning Zoom conference calls without footnoting that either. I've felt guilty for a week.

Well the first two weeks of isolation I sorted through 5,000 photos, throwing 4,000 out, and putting the rest into albums. Want to know what this family was doing in the summer of '69? There's an album for that. Now Pauline says I have to go through and identify everyone. Eeeeuw! Really? Maybe next year.

Last week I went through boxes of memorabilia, filing things properly. I'll share some of the interesting items in later ramblings, but one item tickled me. I was once editor of Canada's oldest weekly (Permit # 1), the Lindsay Watchman-Warder. Then, after marriage, I worked as the political/municipal reporter for the Etobicoke weekly. Since my regular copy ran a week after events, I also became a "stringer" for The Toronto Telegram, a Toronto daily, if there was an important Etobicoke story. I've got all these pay stubs and I just love the wages--"Four stories, June 1970, $28." (I did make page 2 once, for $25, though.) Mama don't let your sons grow up to be news guys.

It wasn't the wages that got me out of a career in newspapers, however. Council wanted to put an incinerator in Etobicoke and every NIMBY kook fought it. (My favorite quote was "Put it in the Mayor's back yard!"). I wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote The Great Etobicoke Incinerator Story 48 times. I still have nightmares about it. End of THAT career.

I've included with this blog, I guess you'd call it, some pictures of the signs from around my block--Timmies, the local hardware store, the Avondale, Confederation Park (where the rabbits are, kids) and the nearby bus stop. Yes, signs of our times.

Before I close, I'd like to mention how this plague has really sharpened our priorities. Forget the Trump impeachment, forget Trudeau's political fumbles, forget the terrible new Tim Horton's lids. We all now concentrate on the really important things, like keeping safe and keeping loved ones safer. As the Premier of Nova Scotia said, "Stay the blazes home".

Have a happy Easter.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-18 4:55 AM

More of Bill and Pauline’s Excellent Adventures

Well, we've both had some excitement this week--I went to the bank and P. was visited by Easter Bunnies. This is what constitutes excitement in week 5 of THE LOCKDOWN.

Now I know some are shaking their heads about my needing to go to a physical bank in this day of ATM's and online bill paying, but this was a special case. You see, I owed the government money on 2019 income tax and they requested payment by April 30 and I wanted to really make sure they got it. Even though my accountant said to ignore this, I'm hoping somewhere in the future to qualify for CERB or some other government largesse and don't want it held up because I owe them money.

So, on to the bank. Well, I hadn't been forever, and since I use a bank with great hours, 8a.m to 8 p.m. five days a week and also open Saturdays and Sundays, I arrived at 8a.m. (still a night owl, up a little later than usual) to find the bank had reverted to what we used to call banker's hours--10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Oh.

Back at 10 a.m., not quite so chipper now. Long line outside in 1 degree weather, people spaced somewhat, but not really six feet apart. Now I'm feeling a little surly. But I had my homemade mask (yea, Pauline) and good gloves, so no problem. When I got to the front of the line (still outside) I met my young Walmart greeter, dressed in a TD ball cap and TD jacket and a very cheery, chipper attitude. "So, how are you feeling today?" she goes.

Now I'm no fool. This isn't Maggie and I talking over the backyard fence where the response might have included the state of the arthritis (Maggie) or the insomnia (me), this was the all-powerful border agent controlling the entry gate, smile be damned.

My attitude did a 360 degree turnabout. "Great, just great, just waiting for Spring to come."

"Have you been travelling?"

"No, no. Just cocooning at home."

"Why did you need to come to the bank today?"

I knew I'd be in trouble if I said to pay a couple of bills because I'd probably get a lesson on how to pay online, so smart as anything I said I needed some toonies for my business (well, for buying Timmies, anyway, but that's MY business.) I thought I was homefree.

Then, just inside the bank I met border guard number two. No more cheery attitude from the flinty-eyed schoolmarm confronting me. "Clean your hands!" she barked. Off came the gloves. I mean my gloves. And I meekly washed my hands with a solution in the dispenser that made my hands feeling like they were being washed in lye. My hands are very chapped and at home I use special unscented hand soap specially prepared for me at a local shop. Grimacing in pain, I put my gloves back on for round two.

"Do you have your mobile phone?" She was stunned when I said I didn't have one. "Well, starting tomorrow, you have to download our app (eyes glazing over) and stay in your car until we text you for your appointment!" It seems they haven't quite worked out what happens to Luddites like me, but I guess starting the next day I would have to stand outside by myself until someone came to get me, maybe. Or maybe not. It looks like my going to the bank days are over.

I was well-served by the teller who managed to not touch anything, using a pencil to push things around and a stamp to show my bills paid. Oh, I got my toonies of course.

Pauline's excitement was much more positive. The Easter Bunnies (two of them cleverly disguised as Rick, P.'s brother, and Becky of Nigh's Sweet Shop) came to her the day before Easter with a care package of chocolate. We always go out to get Easter chocolate for us, for neighbours, for my co-workers at The Hilton, but this year talked it over and decided to "Just Stay Home" like good little lambs. Nigh's were taking telephone orders and delivering to people's cars throughout the Easter season. Rick said they sold about a third of what they usually would.

Pauline said they talked, her in the doorway, the Nighs on the sidewalk, for a good while, and it was so exhilarating, she said. Our first visitors in weeks! I was so sad I missed it, the visit being at the crack of noon, long before I get up. Becky said she missed her grandchildren so; she felt like driving all the way to Peterborough just to wave at them through the window.

Speaking of grandkids, this was the week that the long-term reality of this epidemic sank in. The kids were due to come over from Switzerland for the summer June 27. But how will that work, now? The government rules state that everyone from a foreign country must quarantine for two weeks. If there is no written plan, the government itself will quarantine the visitors in hotels. Can they come stay with us? Will there be summer camp for them at Camp Kahquah? And will there be anything to do, yet, or will we still be in lockdown?

Similarly, I guess I have to face the reality that The Hilton is unlikely to need valet drivers this summer. All 65 in the valet department have been laid off, and until about 500 of their 1050 rooms have been rented, patrons can self-park. Hilton International policy calls for valet service to be offered, but these are extraordinary times and rules may be out the window.

A couple of other observations. Correctly so, someone chided me about my bus comment last week. I realize bus drivers have died of Covid. But no bus in St. Catharines ever has more than five people on it, it seems, unless it's Brock students and Brock is shut down. As well, riders enter from the rear doors. Still it was insensitive and I apologize.

Something else. Lindsay reports that last week, with wonderful 20 degree weather, the usually law-abiding Swiss started to rebel. Whole families went grocery shopping, people gathered in the parks. Now Switzerland started its self-isolation a week before us, but their infected and dead almost exactly mirror Canada's, at this point. So if the law-abiding Swiss revolt, what's going to happen here? Maybe we've been lucky it's so cold (snow three times this week, minus six degrees one night) so it's easier to stay in and be cosy. I guess watch out for a blowback if it ever hits 20 degrees here before things are relaxed.

Other quick notes. The Beer Store is now accepting empties (in limited quantities per person!) at one location locally since they were running out of bottles. Oh, and that demand for cash only? That was just because someone hacked their system so their machines were down for up to three weeks.

Filled up with gas for the first time in 5 weeks. At 77cents.

Our backyard flowers will wait for nothing. We've had some snowdrops, countless crocuses, billions of bluebells, dozens of daffodils, and now the forsythia is starting to....bloom. (Sorry, ran out of alliteration.) Maggie's tulip tree, correct name unknown, that gorgeous showy thing, is in bud. Picture next week.

Peace to all, stay safe, keep your spirits up. More excitement next week, too.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-25 9:17 AM

Journal of the Plague Year Week 6

Apologies to Danny Defoe (real name Daniel Foe) for ripping off his book title on the 1665 Black Death plague, but it's so appropriate. Speaking of Defoe, I suggested to Pauline that maybe instead of Hemingway, at week six I now resembled Robinson Crusoe, but she rolled her eyes, so no selfie of my current wild-man look.

I think Pauline has moved on to cute dog videos, now, because she shared a couple of videos of a British sports announcer giving a gripping commentary on his two dogs racing to finish their bowls of food, and then another of one guarding a toy bone from the other. Hilarious. Nothing is really happening here, and he made it entertaining anyway. Hopefully I'm doing the same because NOTHING IS REALLY HAPPENING HERE.

Other than my daily Tim Horton run, I didn't budge past the back yard this week. Over at Timmies every server now wears a mask and gloves and the coffees now come on a cardboard box top or in one of their recyclable trays. No hand serving. I also noticed a sign for do-it-yourself donut decorating boxes (for kids I suspect) of six donuts for $5.99. Way to keep kids occupied Tim.

I did notice a couple of "happenings" in our neighborhood, though, on my Tim's run. First of all, the church on the corner one block over has been having line-ups outside. It seems that since it's closed, and it has a ministry to the many area sex trade workers and homeless people, it offers lunches and groceries through the kitchen window three days a week. They do 500 sandwiches and 300 bags of groceries each week, and 100 cups of coffee and 100 soups each day. Hats off to Westview Centre4Women at 124 Queenston St. That was not a joke about the sex trade workers--this is a serious ministry.

Just about across the street from Westview Fellowship, the local Community Garden has been shut down since it's not an essential service, so there's no one there getting the ground ready. (Yes, I know May 24 weekend is the traditional planting date in Southern Ontario.) The 70 Niagara Community Gardens banded together this week to plead with Doug Ford to let them open with distancing guidelines and wash-up stations. 600 families count on these gardens in Niagara. I understand they're doing seedlings in anticipation of Covid rules relaxing.

On Pauline's side of the home she's watching a lot more You Tube videos and reading news from various world websites. Me, I read The Globe, the National Post and watch The National. I just don't get this You Tube, Facebook, conspiracy theory world. A side effect of these videos, though, are the great great great new recipe meals she's preparing based on those videos. We had French Onion soup to die for. And tonight it was a three-hit wonder, smothered chicken and gravy, roasted scalloped potatoes and cheesy stuffed biscuits. We don't order in at all--one pick-up Wendy's in the last six weeks.

Pauline did have a couple of new shopping experiences. She needed a new desk lamp bulb; yes a vital need. She ordered and paid online with Canadian Tire, they emailed the order was ready, and she drove to the store, parked in the letter E of the spray-painted parking lot and phoned to say what letter she was in. Out came the clerk with her tiny bag. Others had shopping carts full of merchandise being loaded so I guess do-it-yourselfers are finally getting long-postponed projects accomplished. Efficient and smart, I'd say, Canadian Tire.

At the grocery store, there are still long line-ups, still no flour and little baking supplies, the aisles are one way and now you can't use your own shopping bags. Each week a little stricter as we all adapt.

Speaking of line-ups, I remember queuing forever in England in 1952-53 when there was still rationing. I think one line was for orange juice, one for eggs, and I'm not sure, maybe one for cod liver oil. Maggie next door remembers taking two bus rides to get the weekly roast from the black market. Pauline remembers the large "Quarantine" sign tacked to the front door when her brother Harry contracted polio in the 50's. We've come full circle in our lives.

Since Air Miles expire after a year if you don't take another trip and we're not taking one, I cashed mine for $100 at Chapters and spent most of it already, and Pauline took $100 for Amazon. And in another sign of new world disorder Amazon told her it was concentrating on important shipments and her order should arrive in a month from now. Wow!

Remember I said it was important I paid off that $152 I owed on 2019 income tax? Yep, in these tough financial times the Ontario government withheld my monthly $48.50 Trillium benefit because I owed them money! Even though I paid long before the April 30 deadline. Rotten bastards.

On the other hand, the Feds ordered banks to ease up on bank card interest rates, so I contacted TD and I applied online for a kick-back of 50% of the interest each month for three months. They'll let me know in 30 days "due to the high volume of requests". I'll let you know how it ends up.

Oh. The never-ending bus sign saga. Once again I'm wrong, wrong, wrong. I was annoyed at the very large "Essential Travel Only" sign thinking it was rude and who would willingly take a St. Catharines bus (besides students) if they didn't need to. Well it seems lots of people. To protect the drivers, passengers enter from the rear and a big yellow chain separates the driver a long way from the passengers. And since revenues are down 90% anyway, no-one checks for bus passes or tickets. This became known. Enter the "non destination passenger" and the "riders exploring new areas of St. Catharines". I finally cracked the euphemism code. The homeless are riding around and around. What a gig! Warm soothing ride, a different vista each day. The bus seats are blocked now so each bus can only take ten passengers. The first eleventh passenger is told a new bus has been ordered from the depot to come for them. Thus the sign. I get it now.

One last item and I'll let you go. I started this blog April 1 after two weeks of isolation to record my life for future reference as a writer and thought it might entertain a few friends. An organization that previously compiled first hand accounts of war veterans and newcomers to Canada is collecting first person records of life during Covid-19--a living archive they call it. Brock University is collecting them for Niagara Region and has been in touch with me. Shirley from B.C. responded instantly to my first mail-out saying I should forward it to the Globe because of its immediacy--this is how it is in St. Catharines right now. I thought it over and decided the writing wasn't good enough for a national paper, but this, I think I'll go with it if they decide to use it. They want writing without the filter of hindsight. Since none of us knows how this will end, I think this qualifies.

Stay safe. I'm sure nothing interesting will happen next week either, but I'll be here reporting it anyway.

With tongue still firmly in cheek, your diarist of the plague year, I remain,

Bill


Bill Hogan
Wed 2020-04-01 5:18 PM

Living in a Dangerous Time

I got out today, having been cooped up for two weeks due to social isolation, and my, how the local world has changed.

Timmies now has drive-through only, with a gloved and masked person serving cheerfully. The Avondale (newspaper) has added distancing markers on the floor, plastic shields at the counter and shorter hours.

Dollarama (snacks you know--essential in a time of stay-at-home crisis) seemed to be running low on Viva Puffs, but Smartfood and creme eggs were still plentiful. No I didn't hoard up. I didn't mind bagging stuff myself. The cashier threw a hissy-fit about cash.

The Beer Store, now, was a different story. Cash ONLY, and you can't return empties anymore. (What will the beer bottle gleaners do?) The cash-out was weird, too--it reminded me of the Israeli check-point crossing into the West Bank. Yellow tape 9 feet away from the cashiers. Put your money in a cardboard box (and ID if needed) and step away while it was retrieved and change given. But thank heaven, they are still open. (I know, I know, in Doug Ford's Ontario the beer store will always be open.)

On the way to Virgil to pick up flowers at rock-bottom prices so the wholesale growers don't have to compost them all, I passed Private Eyes. Closed. I guess it's pretty hard to give lap dances during social distancing. Has anyone considered those poor girls, eh?

At the wholesale florist you don't get out of the car. You roll down your window, place your order with someone 15 feet away, the flowers are put in your trunk, and you leave exact change only. Now this reminded me of being in the English countryside during hoof and mouth disease, whatever it was called.

Since regular sources of flowers, for me the Farmers' Market or The Watering Can, were closed, I thought I'd get flowers for friends, too. But Fonthill has flowers! Not allowed to open, two places had self-serve options in vacant lots. One of them a customer of mine long ago in the barn system, copied my idea exactly! He used a red tool box with a slit in the top to leave cash in (with a bicycle chain, though). But he also added a 21st century idea. If you didn't have exact change you could transfer money by phone to his online account. Cool.

There were some masks on the streets, but not a lot. There was much less traffic. The school zone flashing lights went off at 3:15 even though there's no school and won't be for weeks. The police were still stopping speeders. Gas is down to 78 cents but there's no where to go.

The Book Depot was closed but put 10,000 books on line and offered free delivery in March.

Nigh's got Health Dept. permission to take phone and online orders and deliver out the door to your car. All their Easter chocolate was made before the lockdown.

That's the outside world in St. Catharines, in Canada, on this first day of April, 2020. This was written just to record one exact moment in time so I'll be able to recall the wonder of our world ten years from now when I start to write The Great Canadian Novel I've been forever threatening people with. By the way, when in quarantine from the plague, Shakespeare wrote Macbeth and King Lear! This will have to do for now.

In lockdown again,

Bill

 
On Sunday, April 5, 2020, Bill Hogan <billhoganantiques@hotmail.com> wrote:

Living in a Dangerous Time Take 2

Three weeks in on this self-isolation business and there's been some little changes. I'm kind of sporting a Hemingway-like look since there's no barbers open, and I think Pauline's sporting a less restrictive undergarment look since she doesn't go out and no-one visits. (Yes, I'm 76, but I'm not dead, you know. I sometimes notice things like that.)

This has been the week of Zoom. Last week I'd never even heard of it; this week it's Zoom Zoom everywhere. Lindsay has Global Fund meetings daily on Zoom; her nine year old daughter, Maddie, Zooms friends in the evenings. Australian Michelle (well, almost, her and Brad's citizenship has been postponed to August now) Zooms colleagues for work and Ian the Fireman's 16-year-old daughter Zooms with friends till 2 a.m. (Mamas, don't let your daughters grow up to be night owls!)

Even Pauline got in on it suddenly with a new Women's Bible Study Zoom-in or whatever the technical term might be. I'm never up at 10 a.m. so I didn't witness it personally, but P. said it was quite funny. Various people on mute, others frozen, then missing, children popping up, dogs interested, random husbands floating past, washroom breaks needed. But in the end a great community get-together. And technology passes me by again.

The weather has warmed up a bit, so I've been cleaning up the garden from our winter storms and got the fountain up and running. And I wonder if we'll still have our annual summer garden party.

P. has decided to make us masks since this week the information seemed to have changed and it's recommended now in some circles. She did her first grocery store run with one on, and I got a picture of her returning with it still on, carrying groceries and toilet paper. Really, we needed it. The toilet paper, I mean, not the mask. (Oops, too much detail, maybe.) She might put the picture up on Facebook, I'm not sure.

Speaking of P., I know she signed up for richer, for poorer, but did she really sign up for living on a desert island with someone 24 hours a day? I think not. (I'm not sure she thinks I'm quite as funny as I think I am.)

Interestingly, a couple of her friends, commenting on last week's blog, mentioned how loving I was to venture out to get flowers last week FOR HER. Oh. Yeah. For HER for sure. Yeah. Okay.

Although I didn't venture out this week, I noticed that in this working-class neighborhood all the cars are in their driveways all the time. So strange and so quiet.

Maggie next door reported huge line-ups--with distancing--outside the marijuana shop near Lakeshore Meats where she shops.Ian the Fireman is only one quarter as busy as usual at work. His wife, Fiona, in management in the Niagara Health system, put in 50 extra hours last week. Chris, a Toronto court room clerk, is fretting seriously at the lack of social distancing in the court system--people whispering in his ear, standing close to discuss matters.

I want to give a shout-out to some businesses and people. My local Rexall pharmacy waived my fee for a prescription because by law now they can only give me one month's supply of pills, not three, making me liable for three fees for the same number of pills. Thanks also to The Hilton which makes up a free once a week meal for all 1,000 employees to pick up in a drive-thru system with the owners and management doing the handout. As well as Fiona, others are in the health care business, too. Laurie from church is a nurse and Rick and Becky's daughter Kaity works in a hospital. Stay safe, my friends.

When I sent out last week's missive, I sent it to about a dozen people. The response was so overwhelming, I then also sent it out to about another dozen who had appreciated my Adventures in Newfoundland blog. The response was again stunning. Long letters from many. Encouragement from lots to keep writing, maybe start my theoretical novel now.

I hadn't expected that. After I hit send last week, I actually expected a number to write, "Stay at home, shithead!" because I talked of going out for snacks, flowers, etc. I guess those who thought it, didn't write it. (I didn't venture out this week, so don't start on me now.) I even took one terse reply, "Rave on, Bill." as positive, figuring it was synonymous with "Rock on, Bill" not "Rant on" or "Ramble on."

My thoughts now are that those that don't want to read these scribblings can just hit delete, so I'm sending this out to all my 35 or so contacts. I expect that for many, equally isolated, after a kind of exhilaration from the first week or two, there's a worrying or a sadness creeping in, and if my writing may bring a smile or two, it's been worthwhile. And if writing back might bring a release or two, Rave On, readers. I look forward to your replies and YOUR stories of lockdown, week three.

Bill

 
Bill Hogan
Fri 2020-04-10 12:51 AM

Signs of Our Times – Week Four in Isolation

Let the record show that in the fourth week of the Covid -19 lockdown in St. Catharines the various governments have shut down all construction sites, barred in-store customers at hardware stores (but you can line up outside and place an order) closed off all city parks and blockaded the cemeteries. Let the record also show that Pauline has run out of cat video sites and moved onto kitten videos.

As this noose of closings tightens and tightens, it's inevitable the loss of civil liberties comes into play. There are problems, but nothing has really fussed me so far except the cemetery rule. It's cruel. Sure, no funeral gatherings, but a couple visiting a grave site getting run off? It's just coincidence, but our son Edward's birth date is April 20 and we usually visited his grave and gave the plot a good spring clean-up, adding new flowers. I guess not, this year. Twenty-three years ago, now, more years than he lived.

As well as civil liberties being hijacked, I'm just a touch bothered by a couple of things. The busses now have signs on them, "Essential Travel Only" as if anyone in this city would voluntarily get on a bus if they didn't need to. Stop with this rude signage!. I also feel sorry for the many regular customers of my local Tim Horton's who don't own cars and are not allowed to walk up to the drive-thru window. This is a poor area with low quality apartment blocks so there's lots without cars. Whatever.

There's been some great comments online on this stay-at-home stuff. Pauline was cracked up by Sharon's take on it. She says this situation is turning us into dogs; we're constantly roaming around looking for food, watching for any motion outside the front window, being told no if we get too close to strangers and getting really excited about a car ride. Rollo suggests that if you have a glass of wine in each hand you can't touch your face. My sister Karen said that today she ventured into that great forgotten place--OUTSIDE!

Oh, I've been corrected on a few items. Private Eyes was closed some time ago before the Coronavirus came, I just hadn't noticed. Maddie is ten not nine, as she strongly let me know; it was two months ago, Grandpa. Lindsay does not use Zoom, but a more sophisticated more secure cousin for her work at The Global Fund. She was just trying to dumb it down for me. And two people laughed at "The Hemingway" and suggested something like Old Order Amish would be closer.

And if I'm doing mea culpas I might add I stole that line about "the cheap price of gas and nowhere to go" from Martha and I ran with a riff from Brad on Michelle's early morning Zoom conference calls without footnoting that either. I've felt guilty for a week.

Well the first two weeks of isolation I sorted through 5,000 photos, throwing 4,000 out, and putting the rest into albums. Want to know what this family was doing in the summer of '69? There's an album for that. Now Pauline says I have to go through and identify everyone. Eeeeuw! Really? Maybe next year.

Last week I went through boxes of memorabilia, filing things properly. I'll share some of the interesting items in later ramblings, but one item tickled me. I was once editor of Canada's oldest weekly (Permit # 1), the Lindsay Watchman-Warder. Then, after marriage, I worked as the political/municipal reporter for the Etobicoke weekly. Since my regular copy ran a week after events, I also became a "stringer" for The Toronto Telegram, a Toronto daily, if there was an important Etobicoke story. I've got all these pay stubs and I just love the wages--"Four stories, June 1970, $28." (I did make page 2 once, for $25, though.) Mama don't let your sons grow up to be news guys.

It wasn't the wages that got me out of a career in newspapers, however. Council wanted to put an incinerator in Etobicoke and every NIMBY kook fought it. (My favorite quote was "Put it in the Mayor's back yard!"). I wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote The Great Etobicoke Incinerator Story 48 times. I still have nightmares about it. End of THAT career.

I've included with this blog, I guess you'd call it, some pictures of the signs from around my block--Timmies, the local hardware store, the Avondale, Confederation Park (where the rabbits are, kids) and the nearby bus stop. Yes, signs of our times.

Before I close, I'd like to mention how this plague has really sharpened our priorities. Forget the Trump impeachment, forget Trudeau's political fumbles, forget the terrible new Tim Horton's lids. We all now concentrate on the really important things, like keeping safe and keeping loved ones safer. As the Premier of Nova Scotia said, "Stay the blazes home".

Have a happy Easter.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-18 4:55 AM

More of Bill and Pauline’s Excellent Adventures

Well, we've both had some excitement this week--I went to the bank and P. was visited by Easter Bunnies. This is what constitutes excitement in week 5 of THE LOCKDOWN.

Now I know some are shaking their heads about my needing to go to a physical bank in this day of ATM's and online bill paying, but this was a special case. You see, I owed the government money on 2019 income tax and they requested payment by April 30 and I wanted to really make sure they got it. Even though my accountant said to ignore this, I'm hoping somewhere in the future to qualify for CERB or some other government largesse and don't want it held up because I owe them money.

So, on to the bank. Well, I hadn't been forever, and since I use a bank with great hours, 8a.m to 8 p.m. five days a week and also open Saturdays and Sundays, I arrived at 8a.m. (still a night owl, up a little later than usual) to find the bank had reverted to what we used to call banker's hours--10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Oh.

Back at 10 a.m., not quite so chipper now. Long line outside in 1 degree weather, people spaced somewhat, but not really six feet apart. Now I'm feeling a little surly. But I had my homemade mask (yea, Pauline) and good gloves, so no problem. When I got to the front of the line (still outside) I met my young Walmart greeter, dressed in a TD ball cap and TD jacket and a very cheery, chipper attitude. "So, how are you feeling today?" she goes.

Now I'm no fool. This isn't Maggie and I talking over the backyard fence where the response might have included the state of the arthritis (Maggie) or the insomnia (me), this was the all-powerful border agent controlling the entry gate, smile be damned.

My attitude did a 360 degree turnabout. "Great, just great, just waiting for Spring to come."

"Have you been travelling?"

"No, no. Just cocooning at home."

"Why did you need to come to the bank today?"

I knew I'd be in trouble if I said to pay a couple of bills because I'd probably get a lesson on how to pay online, so smart as anything I said I needed some toonies for my business (well, for buying Timmies, anyway, but that's MY business.) I thought I was homefree.

Then, just inside the bank I met border guard number two. No more cheery attitude from the flinty-eyed schoolmarm confronting me. "Clean your hands!" she barked. Off came the gloves. I mean my gloves. And I meekly washed my hands with a solution in the dispenser that made my hands feeling like they were being washed in lye. My hands are very chapped and at home I use special unscented hand soap specially prepared for me at a local shop. Grimacing in pain, I put my gloves back on for round two.

"Do you have your mobile phone?" She was stunned when I said I didn't have one. "Well, starting tomorrow, you have to download our app (eyes glazing over) and stay in your car until we text you for your appointment!" It seems they haven't quite worked out what happens to Luddites like me, but I guess starting the next day I would have to stand outside by myself until someone came to get me, maybe. Or maybe not. It looks like my going to the bank days are over.

I was well-served by the teller who managed to not touch anything, using a pencil to push things around and a stamp to show my bills paid. Oh, I got my toonies of course.

Pauline's excitement was much more positive. The Easter Bunnies (two of them cleverly disguised as Rick, P.'s brother, and Becky of Nigh's Sweet Shop) came to her the day before Easter with a care package of chocolate. We always go out to get Easter chocolate for us, for neighbours, for my co-workers at The Hilton, but this year talked it over and decided to "Just Stay Home" like good little lambs. Nigh's were taking telephone orders and delivering to people's cars throughout the Easter season. Rick said they sold about a third of what they usually would.

Pauline said they talked, her in the doorway, the Nighs on the sidewalk, for a good while, and it was so exhilarating, she said. Our first visitors in weeks! I was so sad I missed it, the visit being at the crack of noon, long before I get up. Becky said she missed her grandchildren so; she felt like driving all the way to Peterborough just to wave at them through the window.

Speaking of grandkids, this was the week that the long-term reality of this epidemic sank in. The kids were due to come over from Switzerland for the summer June 27. But how will that work, now? The government rules state that everyone from a foreign country must quarantine for two weeks. If there is no written plan, the government itself will quarantine the visitors in hotels. Can they come stay with us? Will there be summer camp for them at Camp Kahquah? And will there be anything to do, yet, or will we still be in lockdown?

Similarly, I guess I have to face the reality that The Hilton is unlikely to need valet drivers this summer. All 65 in the valet department have been laid off, and until about 500 of their 1050 rooms have been rented, patrons can self-park. Hilton International policy calls for valet service to be offered, but these are extraordinary times and rules may be out the window.

A couple of other observations. Correctly so, someone chided me about my bus comment last week. I realize bus drivers have died of Covid. But no bus in St. Catharines ever has more than five people on it, it seems, unless it's Brock students and Brock is shut down. As well, riders enter from the rear doors. Still it was insensitive and I apologize.

Something else. Lindsay reports that last week, with wonderful 20 degree weather, the usually law-abiding Swiss started to rebel. Whole families went grocery shopping, people gathered in the parks. Now Switzerland started its self-isolation a week before us, but their infected and dead almost exactly mirror Canada's, at this point. So if the law-abiding Swiss revolt, what's going to happen here? Maybe we've been lucky it's so cold (snow three times this week, minus six degrees one night) so it's easier to stay in and be cosy. I guess watch out for a blowback if it ever hits 20 degrees here before things are relaxed.

Other quick notes. The Beer Store is now accepting empties (in limited quantities per person!) at one location locally since they were running out of bottles. Oh, and that demand for cash only? That was just because someone hacked their system so their machines were down for up to three weeks.

Filled up with gas for the first time in 5 weeks. At 77cents.

Our backyard flowers will wait for nothing. We've had some snowdrops, countless crocuses, billions of bluebells, dozens of daffodils, and now the forsythia is starting to....bloom. (Sorry, ran out of alliteration.) Maggie's tulip tree, correct name unknown, that gorgeous showy thing, is in bud. Picture next week.

Peace to all, stay safe, keep your spirits up. More excitement next week, too.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-25 9:17 AM

Journal of the Plague Year Week 6

Apologies to Danny Defoe (real name Daniel Foe) for ripping off his book title on the 1665 Black Death plague, but it's so appropriate. Speaking of Defoe, I suggested to Pauline that maybe instead of Hemingway, at week six I now resembled Robinson Crusoe, but she rolled her eyes, so no selfie of my current wild-man look.

I think Pauline has moved on to cute dog videos, now, because she shared a couple of videos of a British sports announcer giving a gripping commentary on his two dogs racing to finish their bowls of food, and then another of one guarding a toy bone from the other. Hilarious. Nothing is really happening here, and he made it entertaining anyway. Hopefully I'm doing the same because NOTHING IS REALLY HAPPENING HERE.

Other than my daily Tim Horton run, I didn't budge past the back yard this week. Over at Timmies every server now wears a mask and gloves and the coffees now come on a cardboard box top or in one of their recyclable trays. No hand serving. I also noticed a sign for do-it-yourself donut decorating boxes (for kids I suspect) of six donuts for $5.99. Way to keep kids occupied Tim.

I did notice a couple of "happenings" in our neighborhood, though, on my Tim's run. First of all, the church on the corner one block over has been having line-ups outside. It seems that since it's closed, and it has a ministry to the many area sex trade workers and homeless people, it offers lunches and groceries through the kitchen window three days a week. They do 500 sandwiches and 300 bags of groceries each week, and 100 cups of coffee and 100 soups each day. Hats off to Westview Centre4Women at 124 Queenston St. That was not a joke about the sex trade workers--this is a serious ministry.

Just about across the street from Westview Fellowship, the local Community Garden has been shut down since it's not an essential service, so there's no one there getting the ground ready. (Yes, I know May 24 weekend is the traditional planting date in Southern Ontario.) The 70 Niagara Community Gardens banded together this week to plead with Doug Ford to let them open with distancing guidelines and wash-up stations. 600 families count on these gardens in Niagara. I understand they're doing seedlings in anticipation of Covid rules relaxing.

On Pauline's side of the home she's watching a lot more You Tube videos and reading news from various world websites. Me, I read The Globe, the National Post and watch The National. I just don't get this You Tube, Facebook, conspiracy theory world. A side effect of these videos, though, are the great great great new recipe meals she's preparing based on those videos. We had French Onion soup to die for. And tonight it was a three-hit wonder, smothered chicken and gravy, roasted scalloped potatoes and cheesy stuffed biscuits. We don't order in at all--one pick-up Wendy's in the last six weeks.

Pauline did have a couple of new shopping experiences. She needed a new desk lamp bulb; yes a vital need. She ordered and paid online with Canadian Tire, they emailed the order was ready, and she drove to the store, parked in the letter E of the spray-painted parking lot and phoned to say what letter she was in. Out came the clerk with her tiny bag. Others had shopping carts full of merchandise being loaded so I guess do-it-yourselfers are finally getting long-postponed projects accomplished. Efficient and smart, I'd say, Canadian Tire.

At the grocery store, there are still long line-ups, still no flour and little baking supplies, the aisles are one way and now you can't use your own shopping bags. Each week a little stricter as we all adapt.

Speaking of line-ups, I remember queuing forever in England in 1952-53 when there was still rationing. I think one line was for orange juice, one for eggs, and I'm not sure, maybe one for cod liver oil. Maggie next door remembers taking two bus rides to get the weekly roast from the black market. Pauline remembers the large "Quarantine" sign tacked to the front door when her brother Harry contracted polio in the 50's. We've come full circle in our lives.

Since Air Miles expire after a year if you don't take another trip and we're not taking one, I cashed mine for $100 at Chapters and spent most of it already, and Pauline took $100 for Amazon. And in another sign of new world disorder Amazon told her it was concentrating on important shipments and her order should arrive in a month from now. Wow!

Remember I said it was important I paid off that $152 I owed on 2019 income tax? Yep, in these tough financial times the Ontario government withheld my monthly $48.50 Trillium benefit because I owed them money! Even though I paid long before the April 30 deadline. Rotten bastards.

On the other hand, the Feds ordered banks to ease up on bank card interest rates, so I contacted TD and I applied online for a kick-back of 50% of the interest each month for three months. They'll let me know in 30 days "due to the high volume of requests". I'll let you know how it ends up.

Oh. The never-ending bus sign saga. Once again I'm wrong, wrong, wrong. I was annoyed at the very large "Essential Travel Only" sign thinking it was rude and who would willingly take a St. Catharines bus (besides students) if they didn't need to. Well it seems lots of people. To protect the drivers, passengers enter from the rear and a big yellow chain separates the driver a long way from the passengers. And since revenues are down 90% anyway, no-one checks for bus passes or tickets. This became known. Enter the "non destination passenger" and the "riders exploring new areas of St. Catharines". I finally cracked the euphemism code. The homeless are riding around and around. What a gig! Warm soothing ride, a different vista each day. The bus seats are blocked now so each bus can only take ten passengers. The first eleventh passenger is told a new bus has been ordered from the depot to come for them. Thus the sign. I get it now.

One last item and I'll let you go. I started this blog April 1 after two weeks of isolation to record my life for future reference as a writer and thought it might entertain a few friends. An organization that previously compiled first hand accounts of war veterans and newcomers to Canada is collecting first person records of life during Covid-19--a living archive they call it. Brock University is collecting them for Niagara Region and has been in touch with me. Shirley from B.C. responded instantly to my first mail-out saying I should forward it to the Globe because of its immediacy--this is how it is in St. Catharines right now. I thought it over and decided the writing wasn't good enough for a national paper, but this, I think I'll go with it if they decide to use it. They want writing without the filter of hindsight. Since none of us knows how this will end, I think this qualifies.

Stay safe. I'm sure nothing interesting will happen next week either, but I'll be here reporting it anyway.

With tongue still firmly in cheek, your diarist of the plague year, I remain,

Bill


Bill Hogan
Wed 2020-04-01 5:18 PM

Living in a Dangerous Time

I got out today, having been cooped up for two weeks due to social isolation, and my, how the local world has changed.

Timmies now has drive-through only, with a gloved and masked person serving cheerfully. The Avondale (newspaper) has added distancing markers on the floor, plastic shields at the counter and shorter hours.

Dollarama (snacks you know--essential in a time of stay-at-home crisis) seemed to be running low on Viva Puffs, but Smartfood and creme eggs were still plentiful. No I didn't hoard up. I didn't mind bagging stuff myself. The cashier threw a hissy-fit about cash.

The Beer Store, now, was a different story. Cash ONLY, and you can't return empties anymore. (What will the beer bottle gleaners do?) The cash-out was weird, too--it reminded me of the Israeli check-point crossing into the West Bank. Yellow tape 9 feet away from the cashiers. Put your money in a cardboard box (and ID if needed) and step away while it was retrieved and change given. But thank heaven, they are still open. (I know, I know, in Doug Ford's Ontario the beer store will always be open.)

On the way to Virgil to pick up flowers at rock-bottom prices so the wholesale growers don't have to compost them all, I passed Private Eyes. Closed. I guess it's pretty hard to give lap dances during social distancing. Has anyone considered those poor girls, eh?

At the wholesale florist you don't get out of the car. You roll down your window, place your order with someone 15 feet away, the flowers are put in your trunk, and you leave exact change only. Now this reminded me of being in the English countryside during hoof and mouth disease, whatever it was called.

Since regular sources of flowers, for me the Farmers' Market or The Watering Can, were closed, I thought I'd get flowers for friends, too. But Fonthill has flowers! Not allowed to open, two places had self-serve options in vacant lots. One of them a customer of mine long ago in the barn system, copied my idea exactly! He used a red tool box with a slit in the top to leave cash in (with a bicycle chain, though). But he also added a 21st century idea. If you didn't have exact change you could transfer money by phone to his online account. Cool.

There were some masks on the streets, but not a lot. There was much less traffic. The school zone flashing lights went off at 3:15 even though there's no school and won't be for weeks. The police were still stopping speeders. Gas is down to 78 cents but there's no where to go.

The Book Depot was closed but put 10,000 books on line and offered free delivery in March.

Nigh's got Health Dept. permission to take phone and online orders and deliver out the door to your car. All their Easter chocolate was made before the lockdown.

That's the outside world in St. Catharines, in Canada, on this first day of April, 2020. This was written just to record one exact moment in time so I'll be able to recall the wonder of our world ten years from now when I start to write The Great Canadian Novel I've been forever threatening people with. By the way, when in quarantine from the plague, Shakespeare wrote Macbeth and King Lear! This will have to do for now.

In lockdown again,

Bill

 
On Sunday, April 5, 2020, Bill Hogan <billhoganantiques@hotmail.com> wrote:

Living in a Dangerous Time Take 2

Three weeks in on this self-isolation business and there's been some little changes. I'm kind of sporting a Hemingway-like look since there's no barbers open, and I think Pauline's sporting a less restrictive undergarment look since she doesn't go out and no-one visits. (Yes, I'm 76, but I'm not dead, you know. I sometimes notice things like that.)

This has been the week of Zoom. Last week I'd never even heard of it; this week it's Zoom Zoom everywhere. Lindsay has Global Fund meetings daily on Zoom; her nine year old daughter, Maddie, Zooms friends in the evenings. Australian Michelle (well, almost, her and Brad's citizenship has been postponed to August now) Zooms colleagues for work and Ian the Fireman's 16-year-old daughter Zooms with friends till 2 a.m. (Mamas, don't let your daughters grow up to be night owls!)

Even Pauline got in on it suddenly with a new Women's Bible Study Zoom-in or whatever the technical term might be. I'm never up at 10 a.m. so I didn't witness it personally, but P. said it was quite funny. Various people on mute, others frozen, then missing, children popping up, dogs interested, random husbands floating past, washroom breaks needed. But in the end a great community get-together. And technology passes me by again.

The weather has warmed up a bit, so I've been cleaning up the garden from our winter storms and got the fountain up and running. And I wonder if we'll still have our annual summer garden party.

P. has decided to make us masks since this week the information seemed to have changed and it's recommended now in some circles. She did her first grocery store run with one on, and I got a picture of her returning with it still on, carrying groceries and toilet paper. Really, we needed it. The toilet paper, I mean, not the mask. (Oops, too much detail, maybe.) She might put the picture up on Facebook, I'm not sure.

Speaking of P., I know she signed up for richer, for poorer, but did she really sign up for living on a desert island with someone 24 hours a day? I think not. (I'm not sure she thinks I'm quite as funny as I think I am.)

Interestingly, a couple of her friends, commenting on last week's blog, mentioned how loving I was to venture out to get flowers last week FOR HER. Oh. Yeah. For HER for sure. Yeah. Okay.

Although I didn't venture out this week, I noticed that in this working-class neighborhood all the cars are in their driveways all the time. So strange and so quiet.

Maggie next door reported huge line-ups--with distancing--outside the marijuana shop near Lakeshore Meats where she shops.Ian the Fireman is only one quarter as busy as usual at work. His wife, Fiona, in management in the Niagara Health system, put in 50 extra hours last week. Chris, a Toronto court room clerk, is fretting seriously at the lack of social distancing in the court system--people whispering in his ear, standing close to discuss matters.

I want to give a shout-out to some businesses and people. My local Rexall pharmacy waived my fee for a prescription because by law now they can only give me one month's supply of pills, not three, making me liable for three fees for the same number of pills. Thanks also to The Hilton which makes up a free once a week meal for all 1,000 employees to pick up in a drive-thru system with the owners and management doing the handout. As well as Fiona, others are in the health care business, too. Laurie from church is a nurse and Rick and Becky's daughter Kaity works in a hospital. Stay safe, my friends.

When I sent out last week's missive, I sent it to about a dozen people. The response was so overwhelming, I then also sent it out to about another dozen who had appreciated my Adventures in Newfoundland blog. The response was again stunning. Long letters from many. Encouragement from lots to keep writing, maybe start my theoretical novel now.

I hadn't expected that. After I hit send last week, I actually expected a number to write, "Stay at home, shithead!" because I talked of going out for snacks, flowers, etc. I guess those who thought it, didn't write it. (I didn't venture out this week, so don't start on me now.) I even took one terse reply, "Rave on, Bill." as positive, figuring it was synonymous with "Rock on, Bill" not "Rant on" or "Ramble on."

My thoughts now are that those that don't want to read these scribblings can just hit delete, so I'm sending this out to all my 35 or so contacts. I expect that for many, equally isolated, after a kind of exhilaration from the first week or two, there's a worrying or a sadness creeping in, and if my writing may bring a smile or two, it's been worthwhile. And if writing back might bring a release or two, Rave On, readers. I look forward to your replies and YOUR stories of lockdown, week three.

Bill

 
Bill Hogan
Fri 2020-04-10 12:51 AM

Signs of Our Times – Week Four in Isolation

Let the record show that in the fourth week of the Covid -19 lockdown in St. Catharines the various governments have shut down all construction sites, barred in-store customers at hardware stores (but you can line up outside and place an order) closed off all city parks and blockaded the cemeteries. Let the record also show that Pauline has run out of cat video sites and moved onto kitten videos.

As this noose of closings tightens and tightens, it's inevitable the loss of civil liberties comes into play. There are problems, but nothing has really fussed me so far except the cemetery rule. It's cruel. Sure, no funeral gatherings, but a couple visiting a grave site getting run off? It's just coincidence, but our son Edward's birth date is April 20 and we usually visited his grave and gave the plot a good spring clean-up, adding new flowers. I guess not, this year. Twenty-three years ago, now, more years than he lived.

As well as civil liberties being hijacked, I'm just a touch bothered by a couple of things. The busses now have signs on them, "Essential Travel Only" as if anyone in this city would voluntarily get on a bus if they didn't need to. Stop with this rude signage!. I also feel sorry for the many regular customers of my local Tim Horton's who don't own cars and are not allowed to walk up to the drive-thru window. This is a poor area with low quality apartment blocks so there's lots without cars. Whatever.

There's been some great comments online on this stay-at-home stuff. Pauline was cracked up by Sharon's take on it. She says this situation is turning us into dogs; we're constantly roaming around looking for food, watching for any motion outside the front window, being told no if we get too close to strangers and getting really excited about a car ride. Rollo suggests that if you have a glass of wine in each hand you can't touch your face. My sister Karen said that today she ventured into that great forgotten place--OUTSIDE!

Oh, I've been corrected on a few items. Private Eyes was closed some time ago before the Coronavirus came, I just hadn't noticed. Maddie is ten not nine, as she strongly let me know; it was two months ago, Grandpa. Lindsay does not use Zoom, but a more sophisticated more secure cousin for her work at The Global Fund. She was just trying to dumb it down for me. And two people laughed at "The Hemingway" and suggested something like Old Order Amish would be closer.

And if I'm doing mea culpas I might add I stole that line about "the cheap price of gas and nowhere to go" from Martha and I ran with a riff from Brad on Michelle's early morning Zoom conference calls without footnoting that either. I've felt guilty for a week.

Well the first two weeks of isolation I sorted through 5,000 photos, throwing 4,000 out, and putting the rest into albums. Want to know what this family was doing in the summer of '69? There's an album for that. Now Pauline says I have to go through and identify everyone. Eeeeuw! Really? Maybe next year.

Last week I went through boxes of memorabilia, filing things properly. I'll share some of the interesting items in later ramblings, but one item tickled me. I was once editor of Canada's oldest weekly (Permit # 1), the Lindsay Watchman-Warder. Then, after marriage, I worked as the political/municipal reporter for the Etobicoke weekly. Since my regular copy ran a week after events, I also became a "stringer" for The Toronto Telegram, a Toronto daily, if there was an important Etobicoke story. I've got all these pay stubs and I just love the wages--"Four stories, June 1970, $28." (I did make page 2 once, for $25, though.) Mama don't let your sons grow up to be news guys.

It wasn't the wages that got me out of a career in newspapers, however. Council wanted to put an incinerator in Etobicoke and every NIMBY kook fought it. (My favorite quote was "Put it in the Mayor's back yard!"). I wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote The Great Etobicoke Incinerator Story 48 times. I still have nightmares about it. End of THAT career.

I've included with this blog, I guess you'd call it, some pictures of the signs from around my block--Timmies, the local hardware store, the Avondale, Confederation Park (where the rabbits are, kids) and the nearby bus stop. Yes, signs of our times.

Before I close, I'd like to mention how this plague has really sharpened our priorities. Forget the Trump impeachment, forget Trudeau's political fumbles, forget the terrible new Tim Horton's lids. We all now concentrate on the really important things, like keeping safe and keeping loved ones safer. As the Premier of Nova Scotia said, "Stay the blazes home".

Have a happy Easter.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-18 4:55 AM

More of Bill and Pauline’s Excellent Adventures

Well, we've both had some excitement this week--I went to the bank and P. was visited by Easter Bunnies. This is what constitutes excitement in week 5 of THE LOCKDOWN.

Now I know some are shaking their heads about my needing to go to a physical bank in this day of ATM's and online bill paying, but this was a special case. You see, I owed the government money on 2019 income tax and they requested payment by April 30 and I wanted to really make sure they got it. Even though my accountant said to ignore this, I'm hoping somewhere in the future to qualify for CERB or some other government largesse and don't want it held up because I owe them money.

So, on to the bank. Well, I hadn't been forever, and since I use a bank with great hours, 8a.m to 8 p.m. five days a week and also open Saturdays and Sundays, I arrived at 8a.m. (still a night owl, up a little later than usual) to find the bank had reverted to what we used to call banker's hours--10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Oh.

Back at 10 a.m., not quite so chipper now. Long line outside in 1 degree weather, people spaced somewhat, but not really six feet apart. Now I'm feeling a little surly. But I had my homemade mask (yea, Pauline) and good gloves, so no problem. When I got to the front of the line (still outside) I met my young Walmart greeter, dressed in a TD ball cap and TD jacket and a very cheery, chipper attitude. "So, how are you feeling today?" she goes.

Now I'm no fool. This isn't Maggie and I talking over the backyard fence where the response might have included the state of the arthritis (Maggie) or the insomnia (me), this was the all-powerful border agent controlling the entry gate, smile be damned.

My attitude did a 360 degree turnabout. "Great, just great, just waiting for Spring to come."

"Have you been travelling?"

"No, no. Just cocooning at home."

"Why did you need to come to the bank today?"

I knew I'd be in trouble if I said to pay a couple of bills because I'd probably get a lesson on how to pay online, so smart as anything I said I needed some toonies for my business (well, for buying Timmies, anyway, but that's MY business.) I thought I was homefree.

Then, just inside the bank I met border guard number two. No more cheery attitude from the flinty-eyed schoolmarm confronting me. "Clean your hands!" she barked. Off came the gloves. I mean my gloves. And I meekly washed my hands with a solution in the dispenser that made my hands feeling like they were being washed in lye. My hands are very chapped and at home I use special unscented hand soap specially prepared for me at a local shop. Grimacing in pain, I put my gloves back on for round two.

"Do you have your mobile phone?" She was stunned when I said I didn't have one. "Well, starting tomorrow, you have to download our app (eyes glazing over) and stay in your car until we text you for your appointment!" It seems they haven't quite worked out what happens to Luddites like me, but I guess starting the next day I would have to stand outside by myself until someone came to get me, maybe. Or maybe not. It looks like my going to the bank days are over.

I was well-served by the teller who managed to not touch anything, using a pencil to push things around and a stamp to show my bills paid. Oh, I got my toonies of course.

Pauline's excitement was much more positive. The Easter Bunnies (two of them cleverly disguised as Rick, P.'s brother, and Becky of Nigh's Sweet Shop) came to her the day before Easter with a care package of chocolate. We always go out to get Easter chocolate for us, for neighbours, for my co-workers at The Hilton, but this year talked it over and decided to "Just Stay Home" like good little lambs. Nigh's were taking telephone orders and delivering to people's cars throughout the Easter season. Rick said they sold about a third of what they usually would.

Pauline said they talked, her in the doorway, the Nighs on the sidewalk, for a good while, and it was so exhilarating, she said. Our first visitors in weeks! I was so sad I missed it, the visit being at the crack of noon, long before I get up. Becky said she missed her grandchildren so; she felt like driving all the way to Peterborough just to wave at them through the window.

Speaking of grandkids, this was the week that the long-term reality of this epidemic sank in. The kids were due to come over from Switzerland for the summer June 27. But how will that work, now? The government rules state that everyone from a foreign country must quarantine for two weeks. If there is no written plan, the government itself will quarantine the visitors in hotels. Can they come stay with us? Will there be summer camp for them at Camp Kahquah? And will there be anything to do, yet, or will we still be in lockdown?

Similarly, I guess I have to face the reality that The Hilton is unlikely to need valet drivers this summer. All 65 in the valet department have been laid off, and until about 500 of their 1050 rooms have been rented, patrons can self-park. Hilton International policy calls for valet service to be offered, but these are extraordinary times and rules may be out the window.

A couple of other observations. Correctly so, someone chided me about my bus comment last week. I realize bus drivers have died of Covid. But no bus in St. Catharines ever has more than five people on it, it seems, unless it's Brock students and Brock is shut down. As well, riders enter from the rear doors. Still it was insensitive and I apologize.

Something else. Lindsay reports that last week, with wonderful 20 degree weather, the usually law-abiding Swiss started to rebel. Whole families went grocery shopping, people gathered in the parks. Now Switzerland started its self-isolation a week before us, but their infected and dead almost exactly mirror Canada's, at this point. So if the law-abiding Swiss revolt, what's going to happen here? Maybe we've been lucky it's so cold (snow three times this week, minus six degrees one night) so it's easier to stay in and be cosy. I guess watch out for a blowback if it ever hits 20 degrees here before things are relaxed.

Other quick notes. The Beer Store is now accepting empties (in limited quantities per person!) at one location locally since they were running out of bottles. Oh, and that demand for cash only? That was just because someone hacked their system so their machines were down for up to three weeks.

Filled up with gas for the first time in 5 weeks. At 77cents.

Our backyard flowers will wait for nothing. We've had some snowdrops, countless crocuses, billions of bluebells, dozens of daffodils, and now the forsythia is starting to....bloom. (Sorry, ran out of alliteration.) Maggie's tulip tree, correct name unknown, that gorgeous showy thing, is in bud. Picture next week.

Peace to all, stay safe, keep your spirits up. More excitement next week, too.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-25 9:17 AM

Journal of the Plague Year Week 6

Apologies to Danny Defoe (real name Daniel Foe) for ripping off his book title on the 1665 Black Death plague, but it's so appropriate. Speaking of Defoe, I suggested to Pauline that maybe instead of Hemingway, at week six I now resembled Robinson Crusoe, but she rolled her eyes, so no selfie of my current wild-man look.

I think Pauline has moved on to cute dog videos, now, because she shared a couple of videos of a British sports announcer giving a gripping commentary on his two dogs racing to finish their bowls of food, and then another of one guarding a toy bone from the other. Hilarious. Nothing is really happening here, and he made it entertaining anyway. Hopefully I'm doing the same because NOTHING IS REALLY HAPPENING HERE.

Other than my daily Tim Horton run, I didn't budge past the back yard this week. Over at Timmies every server now wears a mask and gloves and the coffees now come on a cardboard box top or in one of their recyclable trays. No hand serving. I also noticed a sign for do-it-yourself donut decorating boxes (for kids I suspect) of six donuts for $5.99. Way to keep kids occupied Tim.

I did notice a couple of "happenings" in our neighborhood, though, on my Tim's run. First of all, the church on the corner one block over has been having line-ups outside. It seems that since it's closed, and it has a ministry to the many area sex trade workers and homeless people, it offers lunches and groceries through the kitchen window three days a week. They do 500 sandwiches and 300 bags of groceries each week, and 100 cups of coffee and 100 soups each day. Hats off to Westview Centre4Women at 124 Queenston St. That was not a joke about the sex trade workers--this is a serious ministry.

Just about across the street from Westview Fellowship, the local Community Garden has been shut down since it's not an essential service, so there's no one there getting the ground ready. (Yes, I know May 24 weekend is the traditional planting date in Southern Ontario.) The 70 Niagara Community Gardens banded together this week to plead with Doug Ford to let them open with distancing guidelines and wash-up stations. 600 families count on these gardens in Niagara. I understand they're doing seedlings in anticipation of Covid rules relaxing.

On Pauline's side of the home she's watching a lot more You Tube videos and reading news from various world websites. Me, I read The Globe, the National Post and watch The National. I just don't get this You Tube, Facebook, conspiracy theory world. A side effect of these videos, though, are the great great great new recipe meals she's preparing based on those videos. We had French Onion soup to die for. And tonight it was a three-hit wonder, smothered chicken and gravy, roasted scalloped potatoes and cheesy stuffed biscuits. We don't order in at all--one pick-up Wendy's in the last six weeks.

Pauline did have a couple of new shopping experiences. She needed a new desk lamp bulb; yes a vital need. She ordered and paid online with Canadian Tire, they emailed the order was ready, and she drove to the store, parked in the letter E of the spray-painted parking lot and phoned to say what letter she was in. Out came the clerk with her tiny bag. Others had shopping carts full of merchandise being loaded so I guess do-it-yourselfers are finally getting long-postponed projects accomplished. Efficient and smart, I'd say, Canadian Tire.

At the grocery store, there are still long line-ups, still no flour and little baking supplies, the aisles are one way and now you can't use your own shopping bags. Each week a little stricter as we all adapt.

Speaking of line-ups, I remember queuing forever in England in 1952-53 when there was still rationing. I think one line was for orange juice, one for eggs, and I'm not sure, maybe one for cod liver oil. Maggie next door remembers taking two bus rides to get the weekly roast from the black market. Pauline remembers the large "Quarantine" sign tacked to the front door when her brother Harry contracted polio in the 50's. We've come full circle in our lives.

Since Air Miles expire after a year if you don't take another trip and we're not taking one, I cashed mine for $100 at Chapters and spent most of it already, and Pauline took $100 for Amazon. And in another sign of new world disorder Amazon told her it was concentrating on important shipments and her order should arrive in a month from now. Wow!

Remember I said it was important I paid off that $152 I owed on 2019 income tax? Yep, in these tough financial times the Ontario government withheld my monthly $48.50 Trillium benefit because I owed them money! Even though I paid long before the April 30 deadline. Rotten bastards.

On the other hand, the Feds ordered banks to ease up on bank card interest rates, so I contacted TD and I applied online for a kick-back of 50% of the interest each month for three months. They'll let me know in 30 days "due to the high volume of requests". I'll let you know how it ends up.

Oh. The never-ending bus sign saga. Once again I'm wrong, wrong, wrong. I was annoyed at the very large "Essential Travel Only" sign thinking it was rude and who would willingly take a St. Catharines bus (besides students) if they didn't need to. Well it seems lots of people. To protect the drivers, passengers enter from the rear and a big yellow chain separates the driver a long way from the passengers. And since revenues are down 90% anyway, no-one checks for bus passes or tickets. This became known. Enter the "non destination passenger" and the "riders exploring new areas of St. Catharines". I finally cracked the euphemism code. The homeless are riding around and around. What a gig! Warm soothing ride, a different vista each day. The bus seats are blocked now so each bus can only take ten passengers. The first eleventh passenger is told a new bus has been ordered from the depot to come for them. Thus the sign. I get it now.

One last item and I'll let you go. I started this blog April 1 after two weeks of isolation to record my life for future reference as a writer and thought it might entertain a few friends. An organization that previously compiled first hand accounts of war veterans and newcomers to Canada is collecting first person records of life during Covid-19--a living archive they call it. Brock University is collecting them for Niagara Region and has been in touch with me. Shirley from B.C. responded instantly to my first mail-out saying I should forward it to the Globe because of its immediacy--this is how it is in St. Catharines right now. I thought it over and decided the writing wasn't good enough for a national paper, but this, I think I'll go with it if they decide to use it. They want writing without the filter of hindsight. Since none of us knows how this will end, I think this qualifies.

Stay safe. I'm sure nothing interesting will happen next week either, but I'll be here reporting it anyway.

With tongue still firmly in cheek, your diarist of the plague year, I remain,

Bill


Bill Hogan
Wed 2020-04-01 5:18 PM

Living in a Dangerous Time

I got out today, having been cooped up for two weeks due to social isolation, and my, how the local world has changed.

Timmies now has drive-through only, with a gloved and masked person serving cheerfully. The Avondale (newspaper) has added distancing markers on the floor, plastic shields at the counter and shorter hours.

Dollarama (snacks you know--essential in a time of stay-at-home crisis) seemed to be running low on Viva Puffs, but Smartfood and creme eggs were still plentiful. No I didn't hoard up. I didn't mind bagging stuff myself. The cashier threw a hissy-fit about cash.

The Beer Store, now, was a different story. Cash ONLY, and you can't return empties anymore. (What will the beer bottle gleaners do?) The cash-out was weird, too--it reminded me of the Israeli check-point crossing into the West Bank. Yellow tape 9 feet away from the cashiers. Put your money in a cardboard box (and ID if needed) and step away while it was retrieved and change given. But thank heaven, they are still open. (I know, I know, in Doug Ford's Ontario the beer store will always be open.)

On the way to Virgil to pick up flowers at rock-bottom prices so the wholesale growers don't have to compost them all, I passed Private Eyes. Closed. I guess it's pretty hard to give lap dances during social distancing. Has anyone considered those poor girls, eh?

At the wholesale florist you don't get out of the car. You roll down your window, place your order with someone 15 feet away, the flowers are put in your trunk, and you leave exact change only. Now this reminded me of being in the English countryside during hoof and mouth disease, whatever it was called.

Since regular sources of flowers, for me the Farmers' Market or The Watering Can, were closed, I thought I'd get flowers for friends, too. But Fonthill has flowers! Not allowed to open, two places had self-serve options in vacant lots. One of them a customer of mine long ago in the barn system, copied my idea exactly! He used a red tool box with a slit in the top to leave cash in (with a bicycle chain, though). But he also added a 21st century idea. If you didn't have exact change you could transfer money by phone to his online account. Cool.

There were some masks on the streets, but not a lot. There was much less traffic. The school zone flashing lights went off at 3:15 even though there's no school and won't be for weeks. The police were still stopping speeders. Gas is down to 78 cents but there's no where to go.

The Book Depot was closed but put 10,000 books on line and offered free delivery in March.

Nigh's got Health Dept. permission to take phone and online orders and deliver out the door to your car. All their Easter chocolate was made before the lockdown.

That's the outside world in St. Catharines, in Canada, on this first day of April, 2020. This was written just to record one exact moment in time so I'll be able to recall the wonder of our world ten years from now when I start to write The Great Canadian Novel I've been forever threatening people with. By the way, when in quarantine from the plague, Shakespeare wrote Macbeth and King Lear! This will have to do for now.

In lockdown again,

Bill

 
On Sunday, April 5, 2020, Bill Hogan <billhoganantiques@hotmail.com> wrote:

Living in a Dangerous Time Take 2

Three weeks in on this self-isolation business and there's been some little changes. I'm kind of sporting a Hemingway-like look since there's no barbers open, and I think Pauline's sporting a less restrictive undergarment look since she doesn't go out and no-one visits. (Yes, I'm 76, but I'm not dead, you know. I sometimes notice things like that.)

This has been the week of Zoom. Last week I'd never even heard of it; this week it's Zoom Zoom everywhere. Lindsay has Global Fund meetings daily on Zoom; her nine year old daughter, Maddie, Zooms friends in the evenings. Australian Michelle (well, almost, her and Brad's citizenship has been postponed to August now) Zooms colleagues for work and Ian the Fireman's 16-year-old daughter Zooms with friends till 2 a.m. (Mamas, don't let your daughters grow up to be night owls!)

Even Pauline got in on it suddenly with a new Women's Bible Study Zoom-in or whatever the technical term might be. I'm never up at 10 a.m. so I didn't witness it personally, but P. said it was quite funny. Various people on mute, others frozen, then missing, children popping up, dogs interested, random husbands floating past, washroom breaks needed. But in the end a great community get-together. And technology passes me by again.

The weather has warmed up a bit, so I've been cleaning up the garden from our winter storms and got the fountain up and running. And I wonder if we'll still have our annual summer garden party.

P. has decided to make us masks since this week the information seemed to have changed and it's recommended now in some circles. She did her first grocery store run with one on, and I got a picture of her returning with it still on, carrying groceries and toilet paper. Really, we needed it. The toilet paper, I mean, not the mask. (Oops, too much detail, maybe.) She might put the picture up on Facebook, I'm not sure.

Speaking of P., I know she signed up for richer, for poorer, but did she really sign up for living on a desert island with someone 24 hours a day? I think not. (I'm not sure she thinks I'm quite as funny as I think I am.)

Interestingly, a couple of her friends, commenting on last week's blog, mentioned how loving I was to venture out to get flowers last week FOR HER. Oh. Yeah. For HER for sure. Yeah. Okay.

Although I didn't venture out this week, I noticed that in this working-class neighborhood all the cars are in their driveways all the time. So strange and so quiet.

Maggie next door reported huge line-ups--with distancing--outside the marijuana shop near Lakeshore Meats where she shops.Ian the Fireman is only one quarter as busy as usual at work. His wife, Fiona, in management in the Niagara Health system, put in 50 extra hours last week. Chris, a Toronto court room clerk, is fretting seriously at the lack of social distancing in the court system--people whispering in his ear, standing close to discuss matters.

I want to give a shout-out to some businesses and people. My local Rexall pharmacy waived my fee for a prescription because by law now they can only give me one month's supply of pills, not three, making me liable for three fees for the same number of pills. Thanks also to The Hilton which makes up a free once a week meal for all 1,000 employees to pick up in a drive-thru system with the owners and management doing the handout. As well as Fiona, others are in the health care business, too. Laurie from church is a nurse and Rick and Becky's daughter Kaity works in a hospital. Stay safe, my friends.

When I sent out last week's missive, I sent it to about a dozen people. The response was so overwhelming, I then also sent it out to about another dozen who had appreciated my Adventures in Newfoundland blog. The response was again stunning. Long letters from many. Encouragement from lots to keep writing, maybe start my theoretical novel now.

I hadn't expected that. After I hit send last week, I actually expected a number to write, "Stay at home, shithead!" because I talked of going out for snacks, flowers, etc. I guess those who thought it, didn't write it. (I didn't venture out this week, so don't start on me now.) I even took one terse reply, "Rave on, Bill." as positive, figuring it was synonymous with "Rock on, Bill" not "Rant on" or "Ramble on."

My thoughts now are that those that don't want to read these scribblings can just hit delete, so I'm sending this out to all my 35 or so contacts. I expect that for many, equally isolated, after a kind of exhilaration from the first week or two, there's a worrying or a sadness creeping in, and if my writing may bring a smile or two, it's been worthwhile. And if writing back might bring a release or two, Rave On, readers. I look forward to your replies and YOUR stories of lockdown, week three.

Bill

 
Bill Hogan
Fri 2020-04-10 12:51 AM

Signs of Our Times – Week Four in Isolation

Let the record show that in the fourth week of the Covid -19 lockdown in St. Catharines the various governments have shut down all construction sites, barred in-store customers at hardware stores (but you can line up outside and place an order) closed off all city parks and blockaded the cemeteries. Let the record also show that Pauline has run out of cat video sites and moved onto kitten videos.

As this noose of closings tightens and tightens, it's inevitable the loss of civil liberties comes into play. There are problems, but nothing has really fussed me so far except the cemetery rule. It's cruel. Sure, no funeral gatherings, but a couple visiting a grave site getting run off? It's just coincidence, but our son Edward's birth date is April 20 and we usually visited his grave and gave the plot a good spring clean-up, adding new flowers. I guess not, this year. Twenty-three years ago, now, more years than he lived.

As well as civil liberties being hijacked, I'm just a touch bothered by a couple of things. The busses now have signs on them, "Essential Travel Only" as if anyone in this city would voluntarily get on a bus if they didn't need to. Stop with this rude signage!. I also feel sorry for the many regular customers of my local Tim Horton's who don't own cars and are not allowed to walk up to the drive-thru window. This is a poor area with low quality apartment blocks so there's lots without cars. Whatever.

There's been some great comments online on this stay-at-home stuff. Pauline was cracked up by Sharon's take on it. She says this situation is turning us into dogs; we're constantly roaming around looking for food, watching for any motion outside the front window, being told no if we get too close to strangers and getting really excited about a car ride. Rollo suggests that if you have a glass of wine in each hand you can't touch your face. My sister Karen said that today she ventured into that great forgotten place--OUTSIDE!

Oh, I've been corrected on a few items. Private Eyes was closed some time ago before the Coronavirus came, I just hadn't noticed. Maddie is ten not nine, as she strongly let me know; it was two months ago, Grandpa. Lindsay does not use Zoom, but a more sophisticated more secure cousin for her work at The Global Fund. She was just trying to dumb it down for me. And two people laughed at "The Hemingway" and suggested something like Old Order Amish would be closer.

And if I'm doing mea culpas I might add I stole that line about "the cheap price of gas and nowhere to go" from Martha and I ran with a riff from Brad on Michelle's early morning Zoom conference calls without footnoting that either. I've felt guilty for a week.

Well the first two weeks of isolation I sorted through 5,000 photos, throwing 4,000 out, and putting the rest into albums. Want to know what this family was doing in the summer of '69? There's an album for that. Now Pauline says I have to go through and identify everyone. Eeeeuw! Really? Maybe next year.

Last week I went through boxes of memorabilia, filing things properly. I'll share some of the interesting items in later ramblings, but one item tickled me. I was once editor of Canada's oldest weekly (Permit # 1), the Lindsay Watchman-Warder. Then, after marriage, I worked as the political/municipal reporter for the Etobicoke weekly. Since my regular copy ran a week after events, I also became a "stringer" for The Toronto Telegram, a Toronto daily, if there was an important Etobicoke story. I've got all these pay stubs and I just love the wages--"Four stories, June 1970, $28." (I did make page 2 once, for $25, though.) Mama don't let your sons grow up to be news guys.

It wasn't the wages that got me out of a career in newspapers, however. Council wanted to put an incinerator in Etobicoke and every NIMBY kook fought it. (My favorite quote was "Put it in the Mayor's back yard!"). I wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote The Great Etobicoke Incinerator Story 48 times. I still have nightmares about it. End of THAT career.

I've included with this blog, I guess you'd call it, some pictures of the signs from around my block--Timmies, the local hardware store, the Avondale, Confederation Park (where the rabbits are, kids) and the nearby bus stop. Yes, signs of our times.

Before I close, I'd like to mention how this plague has really sharpened our priorities. Forget the Trump impeachment, forget Trudeau's political fumbles, forget the terrible new Tim Horton's lids. We all now concentrate on the really important things, like keeping safe and keeping loved ones safer. As the Premier of Nova Scotia said, "Stay the blazes home".

Have a happy Easter.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-18 4:55 AM

More of Bill and Pauline’s Excellent Adventures

Well, we've both had some excitement this week--I went to the bank and P. was visited by Easter Bunnies. This is what constitutes excitement in week 5 of THE LOCKDOWN.

Now I know some are shaking their heads about my needing to go to a physical bank in this day of ATM's and online bill paying, but this was a special case. You see, I owed the government money on 2019 income tax and they requested payment by April 30 and I wanted to really make sure they got it. Even though my accountant said to ignore this, I'm hoping somewhere in the future to qualify for CERB or some other government largesse and don't want it held up because I owe them money.

So, on to the bank. Well, I hadn't been forever, and since I use a bank with great hours, 8a.m to 8 p.m. five days a week and also open Saturdays and Sundays, I arrived at 8a.m. (still a night owl, up a little later than usual) to find the bank had reverted to what we used to call banker's hours--10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Oh.

Back at 10 a.m., not quite so chipper now. Long line outside in 1 degree weather, people spaced somewhat, but not really six feet apart. Now I'm feeling a little surly. But I had my homemade mask (yea, Pauline) and good gloves, so no problem. When I got to the front of the line (still outside) I met my young Walmart greeter, dressed in a TD ball cap and TD jacket and a very cheery, chipper attitude. "So, how are you feeling today?" she goes.

Now I'm no fool. This isn't Maggie and I talking over the backyard fence where the response might have included the state of the arthritis (Maggie) or the insomnia (me), this was the all-powerful border agent controlling the entry gate, smile be damned.

My attitude did a 360 degree turnabout. "Great, just great, just waiting for Spring to come."

"Have you been travelling?"

"No, no. Just cocooning at home."

"Why did you need to come to the bank today?"

I knew I'd be in trouble if I said to pay a couple of bills because I'd probably get a lesson on how to pay online, so smart as anything I said I needed some toonies for my business (well, for buying Timmies, anyway, but that's MY business.) I thought I was homefree.

Then, just inside the bank I met border guard number two. No more cheery attitude from the flinty-eyed schoolmarm confronting me. "Clean your hands!" she barked. Off came the gloves. I mean my gloves. And I meekly washed my hands with a solution in the dispenser that made my hands feeling like they were being washed in lye. My hands are very chapped and at home I use special unscented hand soap specially prepared for me at a local shop. Grimacing in pain, I put my gloves back on for round two.

"Do you have your mobile phone?" She was stunned when I said I didn't have one. "Well, starting tomorrow, you have to download our app (eyes glazing over) and stay in your car until we text you for your appointment!" It seems they haven't quite worked out what happens to Luddites like me, but I guess starting the next day I would have to stand outside by myself until someone came to get me, maybe. Or maybe not. It looks like my going to the bank days are over.

I was well-served by the teller who managed to not touch anything, using a pencil to push things around and a stamp to show my bills paid. Oh, I got my toonies of course.

Pauline's excitement was much more positive. The Easter Bunnies (two of them cleverly disguised as Rick, P.'s brother, and Becky of Nigh's Sweet Shop) came to her the day before Easter with a care package of chocolate. We always go out to get Easter chocolate for us, for neighbours, for my co-workers at The Hilton, but this year talked it over and decided to "Just Stay Home" like good little lambs. Nigh's were taking telephone orders and delivering to people's cars throughout the Easter season. Rick said they sold about a third of what they usually would.

Pauline said they talked, her in the doorway, the Nighs on the sidewalk, for a good while, and it was so exhilarating, she said. Our first visitors in weeks! I was so sad I missed it, the visit being at the crack of noon, long before I get up. Becky said she missed her grandchildren so; she felt like driving all the way to Peterborough just to wave at them through the window.

Speaking of grandkids, this was the week that the long-term reality of this epidemic sank in. The kids were due to come over from Switzerland for the summer June 27. But how will that work, now? The government rules state that everyone from a foreign country must quarantine for two weeks. If there is no written plan, the government itself will quarantine the visitors in hotels. Can they come stay with us? Will there be summer camp for them at Camp Kahquah? And will there be anything to do, yet, or will we still be in lockdown?

Similarly, I guess I have to face the reality that The Hilton is unlikely to need valet drivers this summer. All 65 in the valet department have been laid off, and until about 500 of their 1050 rooms have been rented, patrons can self-park. Hilton International policy calls for valet service to be offered, but these are extraordinary times and rules may be out the window.

A couple of other observations. Correctly so, someone chided me about my bus comment last week. I realize bus drivers have died of Covid. But no bus in St. Catharines ever has more than five people on it, it seems, unless it's Brock students and Brock is shut down. As well, riders enter from the rear doors. Still it was insensitive and I apologize.

Something else. Lindsay reports that last week, with wonderful 20 degree weather, the usually law-abiding Swiss started to rebel. Whole families went grocery shopping, people gathered in the parks. Now Switzerland started its self-isolation a week before us, but their infected and dead almost exactly mirror Canada's, at this point. So if the law-abiding Swiss revolt, what's going to happen here? Maybe we've been lucky it's so cold (snow three times this week, minus six degrees one night) so it's easier to stay in and be cosy. I guess watch out for a blowback if it ever hits 20 degrees here before things are relaxed.

Other quick notes. The Beer Store is now accepting empties (in limited quantities per person!) at one location locally since they were running out of bottles. Oh, and that demand for cash only? That was just because someone hacked their system so their machines were down for up to three weeks.

Filled up with gas for the first time in 5 weeks. At 77cents.

Our backyard flowers will wait for nothing. We've had some snowdrops, countless crocuses, billions of bluebells, dozens of daffodils, and now the forsythia is starting to....bloom. (Sorry, ran out of alliteration.) Maggie's tulip tree, correct name unknown, that gorgeous showy thing, is in bud. Picture next week.

Peace to all, stay safe, keep your spirits up. More excitement next week, too.

Bill


 
Bill Hogan
Sat 2020-04-25 9:17 AM

Journal of the Plague Year Week 6

Apologies to Danny Defoe (real name Daniel Foe) for ripping off his book title on the 1665 Black Death plague, but it's so appropriate. Speaking of Defoe, I suggested to Pauline that maybe instead of Hemingway, at week six I now resembled Robinson Crusoe, but she rolled her eyes, so no selfie of my current wild-man look.

I think Pauline has moved on to cute dog videos, now, because she shared a couple of videos of a British sports announcer giving a gripping commentary on his two dogs racing to finish their bowls of food, and then another of one guarding a toy bone from the other. Hilarious. Nothing is really happening here, and he made it entertaining anyway. Hopefully I'm doing the same because NOTHING IS REALLY HAPPENING HERE.

Other than my daily Tim Horton run, I didn't budge past the back yard this week. Over at Timmies every server now wears a mask and gloves and the coffees now come on a cardboard box top or in one of their recyclable trays. No hand serving. I also noticed a sign for do-it-yourself donut decorating boxes (for kids I suspect) of six donuts for $5.99. Way to keep kids occupied Tim.

I did notice a couple of "happenings" in our neighborhood, though, on my Tim's run. First of all, the church on the corner one block over has been having line-ups outside. It seems that since it's closed, and it has a ministry to the many area sex trade workers and homeless people, it offers lunches and groceries through the kitchen window three days a week. They do 500 sandwiches and 300 bags of groceries each week, and 100 cups of coffee and 100 soups each day. Hats off to Westview Centre4Women at 124 Queenston St. That was not a joke about the sex trade workers--this is a serious ministry.

Just about across the street from Westview Fellowship, the local Community Garden has been shut down since it's not an essential service, so there's no one there getting the ground ready. (Yes, I know May 24 weekend is the traditional planting date in Southern Ontario.) The 70 Niagara Community Gardens banded together this week to plead with Doug Ford to let them open with distancing guidelines and wash-up stations. 600 families count on these gardens in Niagara. I understand they're doing seedlings in anticipation of Covid rules relaxing.

On Pauline's side of the home she's watching a lot more You Tube videos and reading news from various world websites. Me, I read The Globe, the National Post and watch The National. I just don't get this You Tube, Facebook, conspiracy theory world. A side effect of these videos, though, are the great great great new recipe meals she's preparing based on those videos. We had French Onion soup to die for. And tonight it was a three-hit wonder, smothered chicken and gravy, roasted scalloped potatoes and cheesy stuffed biscuits. We don't order in at all--one pick-up Wendy's in the last six weeks.

Pauline did have a couple of new shopping experiences. She needed a new desk lamp bulb; yes a vital need. She ordered and paid online with Canadian Tire, they emailed the order was ready, and she drove to the store, parked in the letter E of the spray-painted parking lot and phoned to say what letter she was in. Out came the clerk with her tiny bag. Others had shopping carts full of merchandise being loaded so I guess do-it-yourselfers are finally getting long-postponed projects accomplished. Efficient and smart, I'd say, Canadian Tire.

At the grocery store, there are still long line-ups, still no flour and little baking supplies, the aisles are one way and now you can't use your own shopping bags. Each week a little stricter as we all adapt.

Speaking of line-ups, I remember queuing forever in England in 1952-53 when there was still rationing. I think one line was for orange juice, one for eggs, and I'm not sure, maybe one for cod liver oil. Maggie next door remembers taking two bus rides to get the weekly roast from the black market. Pauline remembers the large "Quarantine" sign tacked to the front door when her brother Harry contracted polio in the 50's. We've come full circle in our lives.

Since Air Miles expire after a year if you don't take another trip and we're not taking one, I cashed mine for $100 at Chapters and spent most of it already, and Pauline took $100 for Amazon. And in another sign of new world disorder Amazon told her it was concentrating on important shipments and her order should arrive in a month from now. Wow!

Remember I said it was important I paid off that $152 I owed on 2019 income tax? Yep, in these tough financial times the Ontario government withheld my monthly $48.50 Trillium benefit because I owed them money! Even though I paid long before the April 30 deadline. Rotten bastards.

On the other hand, the Feds ordered banks to ease up on bank card interest rates, so I contacted TD and I applied online for a kick-back of 50% of the interest each month for three months. They'll let me know in 30 days "due to the high volume of requests". I'll let you know how it ends up.

Oh. The never-ending bus sign saga. Once again I'm wrong, wrong, wrong. I was annoyed at the very large "Essential Travel Only" sign thinking it was rude and who would willingly take a St. Catharines bus (besides students) if they didn't need to. Well it seems lots of people. To protect the drivers, passengers enter from the rear and a big yellow chain separates the driver a long way from the passengers. And since revenues are down 90% anyway, no-one checks for bus passes or tickets. This became known. Enter the "non destination passenger" and the "riders exploring new areas of St. Catharines". I finally cracked the euphemism code. The homeless are riding around and around. What a gig! Warm soothing ride, a different vista each day. The bus seats are blocked now so each bus can only take ten passengers. The first eleventh passenger is told a new bus has been ordered from the depot to come for them. Thus the sign. I get it now.

One last item and I'll let you go. I started this blog April 1 after two weeks of isolation to record my life for future reference as a writer and thought it might entertain a few friends. An organization that previously compiled first hand accounts of war veterans and newcomers to Canada is collecting first person records of life during Covid-19--a living archive they call it. Brock University is collecting them for Niagara Region and has been in touch with me. Shirley from B.C. responded instantly to my first mail-out saying I should forward it to the Globe because of its immediacy--this is how it is in St. Catharines right now. I thought it over and decided the writing wasn't good enough for a national paper, but this, I think I'll go with it if they decide to use it. They want writing without the filter of hindsight. Since none of us knows how this will end, I think this qualifies.

Stay safe. I'm sure nothing interesting will happen next week either, but I'll be here reporting it anyway.

With tongue still firmly in cheek, your diarist of the plague year, I remain,

Bill

Yes